Akuma Homura no Kyogaku
by CaptainAfrica
Summary: After the events in The Rebellion Story, an odd character is requested to deal with the trouble that had been created...
1. Intricacies

Akuma Homura no Kyogaku

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A/N: Still alive and kicking in college (UC Riverside) gunning for a philosophy degree now. May get tossed into an asylum now. In the meantime, this idea needed to be written because after seeing Rebellion there were too many thoughts that sprung into my mind. This fic stands alone from the other three I've done but as always could be tied together with loose plot ends. Also, it would be greatly appreciated if that anonymous reviewer who left the first review on my second fic (PB, MG) with Kyoko as his waifu to PM me or something.

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Intricacies

Homura Akemi woke up to find herself sitting upright in a chair, with the background around her flashing all sorts of chaotic and colorful objects. Ah, this sort of stuff sometime happened to her psyche ever since she had become that demon, that rebel, that female incarnation of Lucifer. Was she even Homura Akemi anymore? Or should she finally come around to accepting that nickname that had been conjured up for her "Akuma Homura"?

How had things gotten this way? Homura definitely didn't feel that she had gotten mad, although there was a good chance that there was a better possible solution than the one she had forced upon the world. During those last moments though as she prepared to sacrifice herself one final time for her dearest friend… She knew, she just knew that she couldn't let herself fade into oblivion like that! No, no, it wasn't just some excuse for greed. The backgrounds began blurring now, changing now into an endlessly cruel circle staircase. Wasn't this just the final fulfillment of her original wish, after all?

Was there much more to this, then? Homura thought. Would she go insane or would she be killed as that rebellious Lucifer, or would a happy ending be forced upon her? It pained her to think about it, but in her current state, she would slowly and slowly grow more insane, wouldn't she? After all, that dark side of her love had been brought out. It wasn't as simple as just the "snapping" that could be observed through yandere characters in anime – no, there was something fundamentally more real about it, maybe part of it was revenge, but part of it was that psychological justice that she craved, that control in her life that she never felt.

And so, Akuma Homura almost controlled the entire human universe now. She would sense that magical girls could notice and try fighting against her rule from time to time, but that was quite useless – even if Homura's love had shown that dark and twisted other half, it was still beating with vigor and strength after all.

"Ah, Homura-chan, isn't it?" A deep and familiar, yet unfamiliar male voice called out of the blue. A headless body was sitting across her, and Akuma Homura could tell this was an individual and not just some branch of her psyche. It looked to be roughly around the size of an average human male, and the simple clothes accentuated the figure's thinness. "I congratulate you on how long you were able to hold off this side of your love, I really do," the figure said as it began pouring tea. "But I really can't help but be sort of happy for you now that you've reached a deeper understanding of this fundamental human emotion. You… Well, everybody still has a long way to go with love though." The male figure drunk his cup of tea, and Homura took her cup in hand and started drinking as well. "Even if it's in a sense simple, that passion, that feeling, is simply inexhaustible, is it not?"

"Hmph," Homura said with a devilish smile. "And here I was wondering if I might go insane soon. Thanks to your words I'm reminded that I have quite a long time between now and then."

"…You were a really strong, admirable little girl, you know?" the headless body began making slight gestures. "I think if people were watching you, they would've become very disappointed in the fact that you ended up in this state, but to me, it was always a possibility… In any case, I really don't suppose you want to go back to that pure love, do you? You trained your heart to be strong, but sooner or later, it gave into the true nature of love. I collapsed much sooner… Well, I had always used my head instead of my heart to deal with those feelings. I'd go into metaphysical philosophy land or engage in some sort of fantasy. It was a good thing that in those teenage years I didn't have your devastating magic… In the end though, I never got into a situation like yours with my strategies."

"Are you going to tell me a story then?" Homura asked as she drank another sip of her tea. "I'm kind of bored here. Later you can tell me who you are."

"Meh, I'm so egocentric telling you my story would take forever," the man admitted as the fog blew away to reveal his face. Again, a familiar, yet unfamiliar sight. Definitely of Chinese descent, arguably attractive, but it did look like the features of a Chinese war general was blended into that of a teenage idol's. "Even now, it's still your world, Homura. Name me whatever you want to name me."

Homura wheeled through the list of names before deciding to settle on one. "Holden."

"Khh-hahahha," the man laughed, revealing a set of upper fangs. "Holden it is then."

"I get the sense that you're another one of those people that Madoka's employed to try and get me out of this state," Akuma Homura said as she looked into Holden's dark brown eyes. "Most of them haven't been this amusing… You know what I've done to them, right? If I didn't banish them to some external universe, I'd swallow them whole, just as demons do. I'm not exactly sure how such a big number of young men came to approach me, but it looks like there's no end to the supply of obsessive lolicons."

"One possibility is that you subconsciously aren't just satisfied with this world, and Satan's curse has expanded to other worlds, thereby possessing some of us," Holden stroked his short goatee. "Of course, it just might be a big collision of bad luck."

"Might be then," Homura said. "Entertain me more or I'll swallow you as well."

"Well then…" Holden began. "Do you still have a firm grasp of who you are, or what you want from life in general now that you've become this sort of demon overlord?"

"To be honest, I don't," Homura said. "But that's not particularly abnormal, is it?"

"It's a thing that happens to many people as their present selves clash with their past ones," Holden supposed. "But say, do you really have absolutely zero interest in trying to revive that pure love of yours?"

"It was never pure," Homura said as she flicked her teacup. "It just showed its pure side for a good while before my mind started breaking down. The only pure love would be a type like Madoka's, that selfless, sacrificing love for the whole of humanity… Oh, how that frustrates me."

"You've done some thinking in your new position as well," Holden said. "I like it. But what's good and what's bad about love are just opinions, you know. Even then, it does seem rather cruel that you've decided to abandon those feelings for the most part."

Homura shrugged. "I'd rather consciously live in an illusion than unconsciously do so. Either way, there's no going back to a normal human life for me."

"Maybe not now," Holden said as he leaned backwards and put his hands beneath his head. "But life is long. We can get you to acknowledge those happy feelings of yours slowly, over time…"

"…I don't think I can face Madoka properly now," Homura said. "Even if she still loves me with that godlike love… Hell, that's sort of the most annoying thing about it! It's almost as I want her to be mad at me, to shout at me… Maybe then things could actually be accomplished."

"Why not just try and gun for that sort of life with me then? With your past, you may be too used to just fighting for solving everything. I'm not sure if this is true, but I suppose that for every way of fighting there are a thousand ways of carrying a conversation. Who knows, you just might find a solution."

"Hmph…" Homura said. "Well, you have gotten me to admit some rather odd things. Maybe I'm just really bored today. If you mess up, I'll probably just banish you instead of eating you whole. Don't expect to even get within a foot of me though – none of these other fans of mine have done so in the past."

"Eh, I don't expect anything," Holden said. "Gambling and supposing has always been a bad habit of mine… Also, is it just your deal with Madoka, or do you find the male body repulsive? Well, I guess my body is about twentyish and yours is still that of an eighth grader's…"

Homura shrugged. "Who knows, I don't think of stuff like that often. But it looks like it's farewell for now. I just thought of somewhere to be."

As Homura disappeared from the scene, the nightmarish background dissolved to reveal a normal Mitakihara café with Holden sitting by himself, an iced tea sitting on his table.

"Looks like you made your way through the introduction just fine," Kyoko Sakura said as she pulled out a chair and sat next to Holden, a cup of fries in her right hand. "It's a shame I can't help you with much else though. You'll probably get banished soon."

"Is that all you came here to say?" Holden asked.

"Beats me," Kyoko said. "I can't think of hanging out with a person like you for very long periods of time. I'm not really a smart person to begin with, and your habit of talking in roundabout terms just annoys me."

"I always think I use pretty concrete language," Holden said. "I don't know, sometimes you have to consider the impractical and unlikely to get through some mental barriers. That's precisely what's the cause for Homura's current state, isn't it?"

"I guess that kind of makes sense," Kyoko said as she chomped down on three fries. "Just don't expect me to be a big help with that." Kyoko looked at how many fries she had, thinking that she would leave once the cup was empty.

"Can I ask you a few questions though?" Holden asked. "What do you think of Homura now… Are you angry with her, or what?"

"Beats me," Kyoko wrenched her eyebrows. "I don't really miss being a magical girl, but I do think Homura's gone somewhat off the deep end… But that's not good enough reason for hating her or anything like that. It's as you said, she was originally quite admirable, but we just didn't take enough precautions with bad possibilities and talk things out, and now this happened…"

"So you what do you think she deserves then? Death? Absorption into Madokami's Nirvana?"

"Can't say that, either," Kyoko said. "I really do think she deserves some compensation though…"

"Will you work with me then?" Holden asked, and Kyoko shot the man a curious glare. "To try to make Homura enjoy normal life again."

"You're asking all these questions I can't answer," Kyoko said. It had been quite a while since Homura had morphed into that Lucifer entity, and all of the other magical girls were somewhat at a loss as for what to do. "If we take away Homura's powers, won't that just make Kyubey and the Incubators go after Madoka again?"

"That's a possibility," Holden admitted. "But the status quo is pretty bad right now, don't you think?"

"It could be worse," Kyoko said. "Like I said, I'm not really a thinker. It's hard to come up with large-scale solutions. At least we have that twintailed black bandage goddess to help keep things stable as well…"

"Isn't it only a matter of time, though?" Holden said. "If Kyubey can no longer make contracts or generate energy, won't the entire universe collapse rather soon?"

"It will collapse relatively quickly by our standards," Kyubey said as it hopped up onto the table. "Maybe several years at best… That Zusa girl though, she really is something. A magical girl that can travel across different universes…"

"I don't suppose you've come up with solutions either," Holden said as he turned to Kyubey. "Out of the thousands of years you've been interacting with humans, you've never seen someone like Homura, whose love was so intense it was impossible to deal with? I mean, certainly with all of the generations that lived and died there must've been someone that loved just as much as her…"

"It's not so much just Homura Akemi," Kyubey explained. "It's because she and Madoka Kaname were amplifying each other's power through a mysterious feedback loop – that's our hypothesis. Usually there won't be two magical girls that come so close together with such different potentials…"

"One with a universal love of humanity and one with a deeply personal devotion to an individual…" Holden muttered. "Yeah, that does seem pretty unlikely. In any case, I guess you'll have to be counting on us humans to remedy the situation then. I was just thinking what if we merely taught both Homura and Madoka to balance these sorts of feelings… Would that result in a world of Wraiths with no Madokami to manipulate?"

"It's certainly worth a shot, but as you said, only you humans will be able to properly carry discussions about these feelings," Kyubey said. "In the meantime, we'll be watching all of you."

As Holden and Kyubey were carrying that conversation, Kyoko shook around the last fry in her cup. "I guess I will help you with your dumb plan." Kyoko threw the fry at Holden, and the man fumbled around a bit before grasping it in his hands and eating it. "So are we heading to her apartment now? My guess is that she still spends plenty of time there. Should we bring the others as well?"

Holden shrugged. "What do you think?"

"It might be bad if we all approach her at once and she panics," Kyoko admitted as she got up from her seat and began walking. "Just try not to get killed, will you? I'm probably relatively safe because I was included in Homura's field of acquaintances, but Akuma Homura might get bored with you and just toss you aside." Holden didn't really have anything to say in reply to that as he started waiting for the walk sign along with Kyoko. "…Don't look at me like that. Those are the eyes of a pervert, I just know it."

"Not like I'm going to do anything to you, but sorry anyways," Holden said, looking away. "You're just so cute."

Kyoko gritted her teeth a bit. "Lolicon freak." As the two began to cross the streets, Holden muttered something like "cuter than Homura, but Homura has a more compelling personality…"

"By the way," Holden said as the pair continued walking. "Is it so that you're now officially the only sane girl out of the five that have gone through the troubles of this city?" Kyoko continued to walk silently for a bit, as if prompting Holden to elaborate upon what he meant. "Mami Tomoe went insane in a good number of timelines, Madoka Kaname turned into a witch in many, Sayaka Miki's psyche was corrupted before she turned into a witch, and now Homura has her mind in a pickle too now…"

"I guess you can say that," Kyoko said, a bit annoyed. "It might mean that something's wrong with me rather than any good thing about me… Or maybe I'll just end up having my own insane moment sooner or later."

"And also, it might just be my opinion, but your magical girl outfit stands apart from all the others," Holden commented as the apartment complex came into view. "Yours looks like it's along the lines of what a princess would wear, you know?"

"I didn't consciously choose my outfit," Kyoko replied.

"It looks really good on you."

"Why are you such a lolicon anyways?"

"Heh, I don't think you all are that short," Holden said. "But one thing to note is that how perfectly your height would fit right under my chin…" Kyoko and Holden entered the apartment and hit the elevator button. "I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to come to terms with part of who I am. When I was your age, I was a pretty edgy brat too, except I didn't have magic at the time so I was pretty pathetic… But in one way or another, I found love just a bit after I turned sixteen, and maybe it just figures I'm an idealist, and the adult world happens to take away those ideals… Early adolescence is the time of salvation."

"Can't answer my question any other way?" Kyoko asked as the pair stepped into the elevator. After a few seconds of waiting, they exited on the third floor, and walked to where Homura's apartment was. "I really can't guess what's going on in her head here. It appears that Homura wants to keep traces of her old life, even though I know that at many times she's just observing the world through demonic eyes in one of her hidden realms of space."

_Ding_. The bell rung and there was a good silence for a while before Homura finally opened the door. Her eyes had faded back to that indigo-violet rather than the glowing maroon in her demon form, and she was wearing her school uniform for some reason. "I didn't think you'd want to see me again so soon… You brought Kyoko Sakura, too. I'm guessing she's the only one visiting."

Kyoko felt herself tensing up a bit, and she and Holden waited a few seconds before Homura finally invited them in. "I'm still not entirely sure myself how all of this works," Homura said as she began preparing tea. Kyoko and Holden sat across the low coffee table, both in casual cross-legged positions. "I would've figured it out sooner or later if things ended with my rebellion, but that twintailed goddess is messing with this… my universe for one reason or another it seems." Homura took the teapot and gracefully set it on the table along with three cups. "I still have a good amount of power, but I can't alter memories anymore, and Madoka has been able to reach out and try to work with others to bring me back to her desired state as well."

"…Homura," Kyoko started. "This guy just invited me here and I'm not entirely sure what to say, but I still can't believe you're pushing us all aside again, even Madoka."

"Maybe we could have all been friends if I could have changed your memories in the right way," Homura said as she began pouring tea. "But you regained them all once that outside intervention came in… In any case… Even though you were my favorite comrade after Madoka, I still don't care for you enough to listen to what you're saying here." Homura took a sip of her tea after she saw Holden pick up his cup. "You always had those pure eyes of a princess, even when you were being an edgy brat. Deep down from the moment I had traveled through time, I knew there were bad things piling up in my psyche in comparison to you, who always carried that innate instinct of goodness…"

"What are you even talking about?" Kyoko was getting annoyed now. "Why can't you and Holden just speak in normal language or something?"

"Feelings are complicated, especially when you toss time travel into the mix," Holden said. "As for me I was pretty much born a weirdo, but there's nothing to be ashamed of if you can't exactly follow what's going on here… Hell, I don't even know if I can follow it."

"Whatever," Homura said. "Shoot away. I've become a rather bored demon, after all."

"Actually, we sort of just came here to try and get you to have fun doing normal activities again," Holden said. "You are aware of how we're trying to solve this problem, are you? Zusa, the twintailed goddess you mentioned, will prevent Kyubey from putting anything threatening into place by changing the laws of this universe entirely – unlike Madoka's Law of Cycles or yours where you attempt to bring everything under your control, it will be a universe of slightly randomized magical variables… That is, magical events and beings will pop into existence randomly instead of due to any sort of system – well, this randomized system is a system in itself, one that Kyubey would be unable to manipulate."

"Even if you restored the five former magical girls in this city to normal magical girls, that still risks too much," Homura said.

"…I still can't believe that you'd want to choose this instead though," Holden said. "Personal love consists of loving what we perceive to be essences of individuals, and if you're forcibly restricting who Madoka is and how she develops, how could that be love?"

"It's a twisted love," Homura admitted. "One even more twisted than the parent who's just trying to provide a guiding path, I know… But I can't see a random universe or one where Madoka is threatened by Incubators and me just resting my faith in her being any better. At least this way, I'm the one in control."

"…If you remain in this state and don't risk anything, you won't grow either," Holden said. "Don't you have many things that you want to do with your friends, things that happen accidentally and naturally? Are you really that afraid? Or is it just something else?"

"Hmph," Homura said. "You really do think that you can untwist this love of mine, don't you?"

"You're right," Holden said. "I can't if you don't want it…. Throughout your life, that sweeter love has made you suffer a great deal. But this love isn't any better is it?" Homura sat in silence for a bit.

Kyoko finally smoke up. "Homura… You may think the scars are too deep, or just that you're incapable of going back, but I… We all not only want you to go back to your former self, we believe that you really can, and we believe that you really can be happy…"

"You believe wrong," Homura said, clenching her fists a little. "What would… What would you know…?" It was as if Homura wanted to cry, but she couldn't.

"You're right," Holden said. "No one can know anything, especially when it comes to personal experiences. It's all just feelings… But wouldn't you rather believe in your fellow human beings? Maybe it didn't work out so well, but your fellow magical girls really cared for you. Wouldn't you rather believe in those human experiences of sympathy and compassion...?"

"Believe in them?!" Homura spat. "What good is believing when death and suffering rains randomly, rains unjustly? Maybe that's what's needed for them to exist, but if that's so, I'll sit outside this miserable world as a demon…!"

"We've all wanted to run away before," Kyoko said. "Some of us feel abandoned or lost in darkness for much longer than others, and yes, that's totally stupid and unfair." The redhead looked deep into Homura's eyes, which were beginning to flash that demonic maroon. "But there will be people that can help make up for that past… I had Sayaka, and even if it doesn't seem like you can even talk to Madoka now, I believe there's a way you can understand each other… Well, feel for each other. Right now you two are polar opposites, but as Holden said, we're all human…"

Homura's lower eyelid twitched uncomfortably. "Do you know what I see every day as the demon that looks upon this world? I see good people, wise people, strong people all crumble upon being faced with the evils of this world… And why should I be any different? I've had enough time trying to be the hero that supported our great goddess Madoka, but now it's just too much…"

"Hmmh," Holden said as he finished the rest of his tea in one gulp. "Want to just go play beach volleyball or something with us then? We might need to call the other girls…" Kyoko looked at the young man with nervous eyes. That was certainly an unexpected move.

There was an eerie silence for a while before Homura spoke up. "I'll go." As the trio stood up and started walking to the apartment door, Homura turned and delivered a hard kick into Holden's crotch. The young man collapsed onto the floor with a series of weak groans.

"Homura…!" Kyoko started as she bent down to help Holden.

"Be glad I like you," Homura said to Kyoko. "Otherwise I might have done something like this to you as well." With that, Homura began to leave the apartment as Holden struggled to his feet.

"Man, I got hit in the nuts before, but that was really something," Holden said as he stumbled around upon standing up. Kyoko was thinking of letting the man lean on her shoulder, but the scene was just too awkward for that to happen.

As Kyoko and Holden followed Homura out the door, Kyoko called the other girls through her cell phone with a quick synopsis of what had happened. The three people got on the train heading towards the beach, Homura distancing herself quite a bit from the other two. "I asked the other girls to bring extra swimsuits just in case, so don't worry."

"It's still pretty much spring, isn't it?" Holden asked as he looked out the window, still showing discomfort through the way he shifted his legs. "I don't think we're going swimming or anything, and I don't really have a swimsuit fetish…"

"You there," Homura said without looking back at Holden. "Shut the BS or you'll get another nutshot."

"I really didn't think you were that type of person, Homura…" Kyoko began, but Homura's silence scattered where the sentence was going. "I always thought you should express yourself more, but I didn't think it'd be something like that…" A lengthy silence passed on the train, without any of the three really finding the right thing to say.

"I've never really been in trains a lot," Holden started. "Say, when you were really young, were you ever really fascinated by the way windshield wipers worked?" Homura just seemed as if she had decided to actively ignore Holden. "I mean, man, I knew what those things did, but to think they'd look so funny…" Holden made a gesture with his arms as if presenting them as windshield wipers, and there wasn't a response. "The way raindrops streaked across a car window was really interesting too – you know, how slowly moved but how determined they appeared to be. And let's not mention the special patterns on ceilings and tiles that makes your eyes and feet move in certain manners respectively…"

"Not like I didn't notice those things," Kyoko said. "But I'd just prefer to talk to someone if I could… You'd have to be a real loner for those to be staples of your childhood…"

"I guess," Holden said. "Unlike you two, I was born messed up in the head, but it didn't become that prominent until adolescence when I refused to grow up. I guess eventually even though I was always frustrated with my sense of awe and wonder with things since those could never be fully satisfied, I've found ways to generally entertain myself when I'm alone. Of course, I don't think that's something Homura would look up to…"

"…You just got used to that, didn't you?" Kyoko asked. "I don't really think that's a good thing. I mean, it's just… I don't know, even if it's different, for you and Homura it's both the same. You could definitely be happier, and yet it seems like all you're doing is getting used to things."

"Once in a while I'd gamble and fool around," Holden admitted. "Hell, in my lifetime I've traveled to a few places… Well, I guess I shouldn't say too much about that, at least not at the moment."

When the train finally stopped, the trio stepped off to meet Mami Tomoe and Sayaka Miki. Nagisa Momoe hadn't been invited as her presence didn't really seem needed here, but it appeared that Madoka really was still uneasy with talking to Homura.

"I called Madoka over the phone," Sayaka said as she stepped up towards Homura. "She's really, really concerned about you but can't find the right thing to say… I still can't believe you're fine with all this."

"I didn't come here for a lecture," Homura said as she led the way towards the beach and picked up a volleyball sitting in the center of an already-set volleyball field. The violet-eyed girl transformed into a one-piece swimsuit with magic, while the other three girls now had to go into the bathroom to change. Holden merely took off his second layer and seemed fine in his white long-sleeved undershirt and skinny jeans.

"I'm guessing that with these numbers, it's just going to be a 2v2 with you girls… I guess I'll be satisfied with watching then."

"What you said on the train really made your motives unclear," Homura said. "You've already shown yourself to be quite the weirdo, and for some reason you still have this idea that you can say I'm not doing the right thing for myself? You really don't have a concrete plan in trying to get me out of my demon status, do you?"

Holden shrugged. "Interpret it that way if you wish. Sometimes I just feel that if we knew better ways of doing things, we'd do things better. Just trying to put out some thoughts, perhaps."

"If you're trying to deceive me though, you're doing a terrible job of doing it," Homura replied as she began juggling the volleyball with one of her small fists. "Although this really seems to be your natural way of talking to others." After Homura finished that sentence, Kyoko, Sayaka, and Mami came out of the restroom, all wearing two-pieces.

"So then Homura, do you still mean to stay in that boring two-piece?" Sayaka asked, trying to change her attitude towards the demon puella. "You shouldn't worry about bust size – I mean look at Kyoko, she's plenty cute with what she has…" Holden looked like he had to put effort in order not to stare at the redhead as he moved to the sidelines.

"Let's just play," Homura said.

"Alright then!" Sayaka said. "Me and Kyoko versus Homura and Mami! Or should it be a three on one? Wait… who's this weirdo?" Sayaka asked as she saw Holden with an amused expression across his face. "Is Madoka still trying to throw everything she has and bringing in those young men that claim to be devoted to Homura to try and restore her former self? How this really works out I don't know…"

"Just ignore him," Homura said as Mami made her way to Homura's side of the court. Homura served the volleyball apathetically, and Kyoko and Sayaka looked to put full effort into sending the ball back. Mami and Homura just looked like they were working awkwardly together, and soon enough six points went to Kyoko and Sayaka's team.

"Jeez," Sayaka said as she stepped on the volleyball. "Do I really have to talk Madoka into coming for you to at least pretend to be interested in the game, Homura?"

"Maybe we just need to talk things out more," Mami said. "It seems Akemi-san still has some grudges against me…"

"Just give me Kyoko," Homura said, and with that Kyoko and Mami switched sides. The new teams seemed to be a lot more balanced, and the girls traded points for a bit before Homura suddenly bumped into Kyoko awkwardly as they went after the ball together. Mami and Sayaka took the lead and high-fived each other as Kyoko and Homura tried to recover from the collision.

"I didn't think you were that clumsy…" Kyoko muttered as she watched Homura brush off sand grains from her hair. "…Huh?" For just a split second, Homura's eyes seemed to change.

"I don't know," Homura said as she looked at her redheaded teammate. "You just really are cute."

A few more rounds of beach volleyball went on, with Holden appearing to be satisfied with his own stuff, before the girls decided to sit down and eat an afternoon meal. They all changed out of their swimsuits and conversed upon where to go before just deciding to wander. "Uh, Akemi-san…" Mami started as she led the way to a nearby restaurant. "Even if you don't need the bathroom, you do… still eat, right?"

"Only when I feel like it," Homura replied. "At the moment I suppose I should though."

"That's not a good attitude to have, you know," Kyoko said. "Food is tasty and all of that… If you're not eating, there's definitely something wrong with the picture. Besides the fact that you became Lucifer and all of that…"

"Ah, this sort of reminds me of Haruhi Suzumiya, except our goddess here is self-aware," Holden said as he started tagging behind the four girls.

"Hey, weirdo," Sayaka said. "You still didn't explain to me who you were. And not even Madoka knows where this endless supply of young men are coming from."

"Heh," Holden said. "Let's just say I've been a whimsical adventurer from another universe for quite some time and have known you all for quite some time before that. Madoka and Zusa decided that I'd have the opportunity to meet you all… Normally I'd love to talk about myself, but I really don't think I have my audience here… Hell, I usually don't have my audience."

"So you just come from a universe where we're all known?" Sayaka asked. "What are we, fairy tales or some sort of religion?"

"I'm not telling you any more about that matter," Holden said. "In any case, I guess we do have some things to discuss over food."

Before the food arrived, the table was still mostly silent, so Sayaka, Kyoko, and Mami started a conversation about how Kamijou was doing which turned to music and tastes and criticism in general. "Most J-pop songs nowadays really do seem to lack effort," Sayaka said as if she was disappointed.

"Geez," Mami said. "Kyoko told me about this, but you really are a snob when it comes to this." Holden looked somewhat amused, and Homura couldn't care any less.

"Ah, the food's here," Kyoko noticed with hungry eyes as plates were set out across the table. As the four girls began to crack open their wooden chopsticks, Holden cleared his throat, having his chopsticks cracked quite a while ago.

"I guess I should get to the important matter then… Do any of you have solid theories on why Homura eventually became this Lucifer figure?" Even Kyoko was too busy trying to answer that question, as she didn't dig into her food as usual. Homura took a small bite, trying to ignore everything.

"I have no idea," Sayaka said. "After I had ascended and seen everything from Madoka's perspective, I always thought that she really had established herself as the steadiest one out of all of us. What she did just seemed so sudden and out of character." Kyoko and Mami seemed to agree. "I mean, even if the pain was piling up in her…"

"Here's a theory," Holden proposed. "This was all just fate. It was the fulfillment of Homura's original wish to protect Madoka."

"…I'm pretty sure we've all thought of that," Sayaka said. "But that wouldn't exactly make sense. If Homura would've just accepted that Law of Cycles, she would've been taken into Madoka's space and would've been able to fight for and protect the goddess, just as I did…"

"There's an explanation for that," Holden said as he turned to Kyoko. "Kyoko, does it seem like Sayaka has been acting funny lately?"

"…What do you mean?" Kyoko asked as she turned to Sayaka. It didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary was apparent.

"It could be that all magical girls that are taken by the Law of Cycles actually have their soul, their egos destroyed," Holden said. "The Sayaka that's sitting here may just be a simulation or a copy. If Homura had accepted to be taken into the Law of Cycles, that would create a paradox in itself, as she would vanish without having her original wish ever being fulfilled."

"That's…!" Sayaka almost bolted up in shock. "I really don't like that explanation. Wouldn't that mean everything is pointless because this was just how it was fated to be?"

"Perhaps it's just a matter of changing Homura's value system and what the word 'protect' means…" Holden replied.

Sayaka grimaced. "Are you really doing anything useful here or are you just proposing theories? I really do think that only useless elitists believe the pen is actually mightier than the sword."

"It's a combination of both that carry out justice," Holden stated. "Well, I guess I have a few ideas to test out. In addition to changing Homura's value system, we'd also have to change Madoka so they can co-exist as magical girls without creating such a huge mess."

"Basically make Madoka more selfish you mean?" Sayaka asked. "I've been doing that stuff since childhood – I'm telling you, you really must think highly of yourself if you think you can do that. And wouldn't that leave us with a bad world full of Witches again?"

"Not necessarily," Mami said. "I heard from Madoka that the twintailed girl is here to change the system."

"Hmph," Homura said as she began eating. "I've seen impressive powers, but I don't think that girl can override Hope, let alone Love."

"Do you actually know what she represents?" Holden asked with a serious expression on his face. "Chaos. Before there was Hope or Love, there was Chaos, and everything in the end ends in Chaos. The magical girl you're speaking of, Zusa, has overcome a ridiculous amount of ridiculous obstacles because her essence is tied with Chaos, and in the end, Chaos survives everything. She could easily just take out Homura and Madoka if she wished to and set the law of Chaos into place, but since she can't actually mind-control her fellow goddesses, we have to actually try and talk things out in order to get a better ending."

"You don't suppose that I'd just sever this connection with Chaos, then?" Homura asked.

"You'd have better luck trying to change Madoka," Holden replied. "Unlike you and Madoka, she likely didn't gain her godly trait, and it's merely tied with her essence."

"…If you really claim that's so, I'll have to meet this Zusa," Homura said. Neither of them had been particularly avoiding each other, but they didn't exactly run into each other either.

A short silence passed before Holden began to eat his food, and with that cue normal conversation began to build up with Holden and Homura staying silent. Kyoko and Mami looked at Sayaka a bit more intently, but there was no good evidence that showed she was just a simulation.

"…You look like you're enjoying your food, aren't you?" Homura looked rather bored as she watched Holden eat. The other three girls stopped for a short while upon hearing Homura speak up. "Yet you're not exactly savoring it either."

"Well, if you're used to being alone while eating you learn that the food can sometimes make up for the loneliness," Holden said. "But I try not to overdo it like Kyoko sort of does. In any case, I guess I'm just the type that usually feels more intensity when he's alone."

"Perhaps…" Homura started as she looked around the restaurant.

"You know, Homura," Sayaka started. "If you do return to the person that we knew you won't have to be alone anymore. Sure there'd be awkwardness and all, but sooner or later we'd all get over it and forgive each other, and sooner or later you'd enjoy talking to us…"

"That seems only possible in the crazy fantasy I had trapped myself into when Kyubey experimented on me," Homura said. "Just look at the man to my left. If things were that convenient, I'm sure he wouldn't be stuck here with us."

Holden held his fork in midair and looked over at Homura. "I did say I was born like this… I doubt that's the case with you. And I never really got all the psychological help that was available either."

"Doesn't it seem silly to believe that scars can heal when you can't even see them?" Homura asked. "It'd be like a surgeon operating blindfolded – the cuts would only get deeper."

"Well, I…" Sayaka started.

"Even if you weren't some cheesy simulation, don't even compare your suffering to mine," Homura said without a bat of an eyelash. After those harsh words, another silence filled up the air before Holden finished his last bits of food and spoke up.

"Just try to say what's on your mind and just observe the reaction," Holden suggested. "That way it's just a test, a small gamble to see where your interests match… Uh, let's see. Do you guys know why Aristotle was so revered among intellectuals, even though he got a whole bunch of things wrong? It was because his predecessors were even more incorrect. Basically, his predecessors such as Plato and Parmenides believed that changes in the physical world were just illusions, and Aristotle on the other hand actually decided to observe them… Of course, there's also the possibility that Europeans just had a fetish with Greek men in togas. But in any case, it's impressive how people considered so smart could get so many stupid things wrong with the world, or just have vastly contrasting opinions in general. Makes you think that truth really doesn't matter at the end of the day, don't you?"

Another silence. The tension seemed to be somewhat diverted. "…I don't think I have the motivation to think about stuff like that," Homura said. "Just finish up what your meals and we'll pay and get out of here." She was still slightly annoyed, thinking about all those random things that Holden had mentioned since they had met that afternoon. She couldn't imagine any part of her mental state getting better – now that she had the luxuries of a devil, she realized that all she really ever thought about were painful memories and nightmares and whatever would happen the next day. Occasionally, there were those happy dreams, but Homura had rejected hope for love and felt like a glass window broken into ten thousand pieces. She would have to be melted back together and destroy herself in the process if things were to improve…

As the five left the restaurant, Homura turned to Holden again with another question. "Tell me about our relationship. I don't think you're hanging out with us for mere amusement. Are you some sort of con man that needs to be paid in special finances?"

Holden smiled bitterly. "I'm just somebody that loves you very much, even when you've turned into the epitome of evil."

"You don't behave like that sort of person," Homura said. She would've balled her fists if she hadn't gotten used to Holden's crap by now.

"I got help in order to hide my true feelings for the time being at least," Holden said. "I don't think now would be time to prostrate myself before you. Love is more complicated than simply listening to authority, don't you think? In order for me to fulfill your interests I have no choice but to take a roundabout approach like this one."

"Hmph," Homura said. "Tell me how you became infatuated with me then." The other three girls were observing the scene intently.

"I'll give you a short summary then. After being an edgy brat most of my early teenage years I stumbled upon your existence at sixteen. That was before you became Lucifer, and at the time something in me just felt affection for you, something I couldn't remembering feeling with any other human. Well, there were love and crushes before, but not to this extent. I ended up making a promise and being motivated to try and become something more than an edgy brat and I did. That's pretty much it."

"What do you exactly mean by love?" Homura stepped up to the young man and spat in his face. "Do you mean wanting to share another's pain, to get married, to take care of each other…?"

Holden scratched his head, his expression still blending into the mysterious night. "Pretty much. I guess I didn't really care that you were already paired with Madoka. Well then, I'm just doing what I can…"

"…I'm sure there's a lot more to you, but you seem to have let diversions and entertainment dominate your mind and your life," Homura said.

"It's the way I got through my problems," Holden said as he turned to face the other direction. "Sometimes you just need to let yourself fall freely through that world of shared illusions before returning to that precious personal reality of yours… It's inevitable, after all. The more you end up thinking, the more aware you are of the endless maze of illusions. You won't defeat that maze by ignoring its existence."

"…I'm not going to guess what you're saying," Homura said as she went in her own direction. "Tomorrow's Sunday, isn't it? If you're all going to meet up with Madoka, tell her I still don't feel like seeing her."

"…Hey," Sayaka asked after Homura's figure faded into the distance. "That was the truth, right?"

"Sure was," Holden shrugged. "Can we use yours or Mami's apartment to meet up tomorrow? I don't think Madoka's parents would be fine with someone my age in their house."

"Out of curiosity, how old are you anyways?" Mami asked. "How long have you been preparing for all of this?"

"I'm older than I look, that's for sure. Now can we use your apartment then? If you really don't want to try out my suggestions you can just tell me to go away right now. I'll listen."

The three middle school students looked at each other. "I guess…" Sayaka started. "This world wouldn't be that bad if Madoka wasn't hurting so much. That's the one part of it I can't stand. Let's go with the weirdo's plans for now." The other two girls nodded.

"I'll try to come at noon or so then, okay? Tell me the room number."

* * *

"…You sure look tired," Sayaka said as she opened up Mami's apartment door to see Holden. The four girls had already made their way in fifteen minutes earlier, and Holden was standing at the entrance with bags under his eyes. "May I ask you what exactly you were doing last night?" Sayaka noticed that the young man was carrying a backpack.

"Recovering some skills," Holden winked as he stepped into the room and set out upon among the coffee table.

"Welcome in," Madoka said with a nervous smile, evidently uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Thanks for the warm greeting," Holden said with an odd smile, trying not to rudely stare at Madoka's cuteness.

""Madoka told us some things about you," Sayaka said. "She said that it seemed you've seen and felt quite a lot in your journey through life, and I don't think everything you said was just words, either. But in the end, are you really doing something unreliable as fighting illusions with illusions?" Holden shrugged as he navigated across the folders to open up a specific file.

"…It also doesn't seem like Akemi-san aware of it, but you can use magic, can't you?" Mami asked. "It's certainly better not to try and fight in this scenario though…"

"All right, here's part of my plan," Holden explained as he gestured for Madoka to come and sit down. "I used to play a good deal of video games in the teen years… Well, every teenage boy did in my time, but I played the indie games or the hipster ones while everyone was busy with League or whatever. Basically, if we're trying to get Madoka to be a bit more self-centered, there's nothing better than video games. Whenever I didn't want to be a good member of society and study for school or even just have social interaction, it was games. I'd get pretty damn absorbed into them."

"I've played games with Madoka," Sayaka said. "That isn't going to work…"

"Umuu… Eto…" Madoka stammered as she tried to clear the stage Holden had selected. The game looked to be a basic platformer that centered around reaching the end of a stage, but this stage had heat-seeking missiles and crumbling walls everywhere, and touching any obstacle would render an instant death. Also, the physics were fairly unique.

"Holy… What the hell is that?" Sayaka asked. "There's something called challenging and then there's this…"

"It's Super Meat Boy," Holden explained. "Come on, Madoka, feel the pain. You haven't philosophically completed this game until you die more than 10,000 times, even though there are only 300 or so stages.

"Um, I don't think this is meant for me…" Madoka said as she stepped away from the laptop, much to Holden's disappointment.

"Come here, I'll show it's possible," Holden said as he stepped up to the keyboard and completed the stage within three or four tries. You have to shout in frustration if you're failing really badly too. It's all part of the experience… Ah, crap."

"I'm guessing you stayed up all night relearning these platforming skills then?" Sayaka asked as she saw Holden attempt to guide Meat Boy through a plethora of rotating and clustered spinning circular saws and heat seeking missiles.

"Let me try," Kyoko said as she stepped up to the keyboard and bumped Holden away. "Not too bad, hey this is fun… Wait, menu, statistics… Man dude, you're a total noob if this really took over 17,000 deaths and you still only have 93% completion."

"I don't really think that's much worse than average…" Holden muttered.

"As always, Kyoko-chan's so good at video games," Madoka said as Kyoko impressively cleared stage after stage. Just as she was about to complete another one, Kyoko paused.

"…Having fun is fine and all of that, but didn't you have something else in mind?" Kyoko asked as she turned to Holden.

"…Maybe PvP," Holden said.

Meanwhile, Homura was leaping from rooftop to rooftop trying to confront the twintailed girl that was getting in her way. When she finally came across Zusa, the demon pointed an invisible gun and looked at Zusa with a determined expression. "I guess you really wanted me to chase after you, didn't you?"

"…Perhaps," the black figure standing with its back facing Homura turned to reveal a set of flaming red eyes. When the fire cleared a girl appearing about fifteen or sixteen was left to face Homura. Zusa's magical outfit consisted of a few asymmetrical frills and bandages decorating a simple black outfit.

"Why are you here?" Homura asked.

"My dear, you could ask anybody on this planet that question and hardly any of the answers would be satisfactory," Zusa said as she began walking towards Homura slowly, closing the distance between them. "You'd probably say 'love'. Well I'm not really impressed with that either…"

Homura let loose a barrage of black bullets, but the twintailed girl darted forwards in a stream of red flames and slammed the flat of her blade against Homura's abdomen, sending the demon sprawling backwards. Homura recovered quickly and used the first thing that came to mind.

…Yes. Stopping time had been successful. She looked at the frozen Zusa and thought of all of the frustration she was meant to go through anyways. It had been a good while since she was able to win a fight like this anyways. There was something innately charming about it… Homura sent a good number of bullets in Zusa's direction, and several missiles just in case, then proceeded to unpause time.

"Kuhhh?!" Homura exclaimed as the missiles soared into the distance and Zusa smacked the flat of the curved, backhanded blade into Homura's left cheek. "I made a portal on your stomach and instantly teleported when you unfroze," Zusa explained as she lifted up the female Lucifer by the collar. "But I didn't even need that. In any case, everything you heard the weirdo say was true." Zusa released Homura, and the demon sank to her knees, frustrated.

"…Why then?" Homura asked. "Why don't you stop caring about my well-being and just fix this universe?"

"Because I think you deserve redemption," Zusa said as she turned away, letting Homura see the black twintails sway in the slight wind. "That's something that I'm incapable of having, as I only exist because of Chaos at the moment… I mean you really still haven't seen all there is to see of love."

"Really…" Homura started, a bit annoyed. "I'm not sure if I want or need to see all of that emotion."

Zusa turned back to Homura with an interested glance. "Isn't that feeling the only reason you're alive right now? Certainly you don't believe that you deserve this tragic fate you wished upon yourself…"

"…I don't know anything about who deserves what," Homura admitted. "But for you, it really sounds like you let yourself sink into that random world of chaos. Didn't you ever want to just control the world or improve it or whatnot…?"

Zusa gave Homura a bitter smile. "It's not necessarily a matter of right and wrong here. It's just… Well, the crazy man would have more to say on this, but if a human being takes full control of the whole world, that would be quite detrimental to his or her happiness, or fulfillment, or self-actualization or whatever."

"…Is this just what you do then?" Homura looked into Zusa's crimson red eyes. "Overthrow rulers and instill anarchy?"

Zusa chuckled. "I really wouldn't say that… One day, I did face another version of me though, one from a different universe. She was all grown up and stood well over two meters… She wanted to be the queen that would end all the strife in the multiverse… Well, we crossed paths and we didn't really approve of each other's lifestyles. I ended up winning in a fight to the death." Homura blinked, deep in thought. Would her former self try and destroy what she'd become? "Different things happen, and we end up becoming different people… It's stupid to try to control others."

"Didn't you ever have someone you loved?" Homura asked. "Someone you loved that could never understand you in the way that you wanted them to…"

"I'm afraid I'm just not a lover of individuals," Zusa said with an amused look. "I don't like what you've made out of your opportunity. Don't misunderstand, your life was tragic and all, but you were tossed into a situation with four other great girls and a wonderful best friend… I was stuck with a suicidal werewolf, a bored vampire, and an elitist ghost after almost three years of winging it alone as a magical girl. Later on after they got screwed over I went on a journey and become friends with that stereotypical Genki Girl that's supposed to be in these types of stories – she's the only friend that's probably still alive now. In any case, I just didn't fall in love."

"…And you still found this sort of life of adventures worth living?" Homura asked.

Zusa smiled. "Geez, this is just like how I was when I started… It's worth it all. Fighting is fun sometimes and I love my flames. Perhaps the best thing, however, is that I get to talk with interesting people like you." It looked like Zusa was preparing to leave.

"One more thing then," Homura said. "Can you tell me more about Holden? Er, that weird man you sent here."

"I can't tell you much about him," Zusa said. "All I can really say is that don't try to kill him, and if you do try, it won't be an easy task to accomplish." The twintailed girl transformed out of her black magical outfit to reveal a black school uniform and summoned a motorcycle before climbing onto it and jumping down from the roof with it.

Homura looked up at the blue sky and wondered. Powerful people came in all sorts of different personalities, from her to Madoka to Zusa… There was that slight tug in her heart to push her emotions, to try and go after Zusa again and proclaim her love as the strongest of all, but Homura also felt as if the twintailed girl had given her a pleasant conversation. That wasn't something she had in a long time.

* * *

At Mami's place, a second laptop had been brought out and now Holden was playing an MMO with Madoka. "Ehh, this really doesn't look like your standard MMO," Sayaka commented as Holden and Madoka selected their characters from the panels as the round began. "You said it was a cartoony 3D fighter?"

"Lost Saga, I used to play it all the damn time in high school," Holden grinned as he walked around with his character. "It's a Korean game and ever since a long time ago has gotten way out of balance with reforms and new gears as many Korean games do, so I ended up quitting after dumping a good load of money in, but no regrets. Hell this is one of the legacy servers and it's still really broken. Anyways, the character I told Madoka to use is really OP compared to mine. If she has the right attitude at all she should win easily. Madoka, just jump Hold D and juggle me till I die."

"So Madoka has this zerker dude with a big two-handed sword slung over one shoulder, and the weirdo has some purple jester guy with an oversized toy hammer," Kyoko observed.

"Come on Madoka, I only have two basic attack strings and one ground hit," Holden said as Madoka's HP began quickly depleting. "The controls are really simple too, as I said, A to jump, S to block, and D to attack. If you block at the right moment you can deflect and break free."

"Um… Eto…" Madoka started and ran away after she got up with her invincibility frames. "Jump Hold D…?" Madoka did so and a huge attack came out from her Berserker which slammed his sword down onto the ground."

"It doesn't auto-aim, Madoka, you've walked right into more pressure!" Holden said as he began pummeling Madoka with his hammer.

"Oh geez this is so stupid and sad to watch…" Sayaka commented. Madoka broke free again and did another jump Hold D, which Holden blocked.

"Spam more Madoka, spam more! Win this stuff!" Holden said, and the spectators of the match resisted the urge to hit the man. "You're being too obvious. Mix in your guardbreakers with dash hold D and normal hold D… Nope, still too obvious." The game ended in a 3-0 victory for Holden.

"Jeez, both of you are really hopeless," Kyoko said. "Holden for being the man-child he is and Madoka for not being able to do much at all with all of her advantages."

"How long have you been playing the game… Holden-san?" Mami asked.

"Ehh, I was able to pick off where I left back in the days. I've probably spent near 100 days or so of my life on it."

Sayaka had a confused expression on her face. "I thought we were helping Madoka become more selfish… It really does look like you're just messing around here. Last time I checked it wasn't a damn comedy."

"I'll teach Madoka a more OP class then," Holden said. "Iori Yagami from King of Fighters does skill-less, meter-less infinites from grounded. The input sequence for the generic one is hold D, right down, down left, down left, down right, down left, down right (which is Hold D) or fireball, uppercut, punch, punch, fireball, punch. He has plenty more infinites so you can wreck your opponent with swag…"

"Heh," Kyoko said. "We're really getting off topic here, but while we're at it, let's play some more games." There would've been an objection, but no one else really had a better suggestion. The attention shifted to consoles and Smash Bros. After a good while of egging Madoka to be more aggressive everyone simply teamed up on Holden out of a random desire to beat up the strange man, who would play as Ganondorf or Mr. Game and Watch.

Sayaka sighed. "I guess we can hit the arcades if you really want to go on with this. I don't think any of us expected this plan to work anyways."

"So then Kaname-san, would you like to play any of these games?" Mami asked. "Be as selfish as you could possibly be, we'll pay for all of this."

"Um…" Madoka started. "That crane game looks like it has cute stuffed animals…"

"Ah, the crane game," Holden said as Madoka began steering the crane. "The one designed to frustrate…" Madoka ended up getting a stuffed animal on the first try.

"I guess I'm just lucky," Madoka said with a nervous smile. "I've always gotten one on the first try."

"That's why Madoka has so many stuffed animals in her room, if I remember correctly," Sayaka said. "Well then, anything else…?"

"Ah, before that, I guess I have a question," Holden said. "Madoka, isn't your mom a competitive businesswoman? I don't get how you would turn out like this then…"

"My parents always said I got my father's genes," Madoka said with a friendly smile.

"Well I can't believe that your dad would be that boring all his life," Holden said. "I mean, to attract someone as ambitious as your mother…"

"Wait, how the hell do you know about a little girl's family?" Sayaka asked. "You might've gotten some things naturally, but this is too much…" Before Sayaka could finish her sentence, Holden was abruptly yanked a meter back by his ear.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zusa asked as she tugged Holden to his feet.

"Ah, so the ear really does work after all…" Holden said with a smile. "Ah, nothing really. I just figured I'd sort of enjoy the time I have here. I love lolis, after all—owwowowow…" Zusa tugged Holden a good several meters away and threw him to the side before coming back to talk to the other girls.

"Black twintails and red eyes…" Mami commented. "You're Zusa-san, aren't you?"

"Why did you let such a weirdo in?" Sayaka asked. "Wait, Madoka, you agreed to this too, right?"

"All our efforts of helping Akuma Homura so far have been a joint effort," Zusa explained. "Madoka still has some of her powers as a magical girl… That crazy man there, he was my last resort, but Madoka didn't want to see any more lives destroyed when other people volunteered to try and solve this whole Lucifer problem."

"It's okay," Madoka reassured. "He's quirky, but he's a nice guy…"

"Are you sure you're not being fooled?" Mami asked.

"My eyes can see through most people's intentions," Zusa said as she turned to Holden, who was rubbing his ear. "Holden falls into that category. In any case, I talked with Akuma Homura for the first time today, and it seems negotiation should be possible, even if it should be long. However, I won't tolerate too much slacking from him." Zusa pointed at Holden with her thumb. "Show some more progress by the end of today or I'm throwing you out. You're too high-risk to leave in this universe for long."

"…Alright then," Holden muttered, as if annoyed. "Madoka, can we arrange a meeting with Homura this evening? I do have some more things to say to her."

Madoka nodded and turned to her friends. "Don't worry, it'll be fine with just the three of us."

"…Be careful, okay?" Mami said. "You're meeting up with Akemi-san and someone suspicious, after all. The twintailed girl might also be suspicious…"

"Ah, just let her go," Sayaka said. "This sort of intimate discussion has been needed in a long time. You haven't really been able to talk to her directly and honestly ever since you two first left each other, right?"

Madoka shook her head uneasily. "Yes… It's been too long between Homura-chan and me." The other girls left, and only Madoka and Holden remained.

"Just tell your parents you're over for a study date," Holden said. "If Homura doesn't reply, we should just kick down her door. You two really need to talk."

Madoka looked down at the ground before meeting eyes with Holden and giving him an affirmative nod. "I'll think of what I have to say by then."


	2. Constituents

Constituents

The meeting worked out well enough. Madoka was driven to Homura's apartment by her father, and Homura opened the door a short while after Madoka rung the doorbell. Madoka's father departed soon after Madoka stepped in the house, and Homura went to prepare tea as the doorbell rung once again.

"You can go get that," Homura said, and Madoka opened the door to receive Holden, who now had quite a determined look on his face. Madoka and Holden sat down, and Homura set out three cups of tea and filled them up before sliding them across the table. "I heard you all had fun this afternoon," Homura said. "Kyoko told me."

"Ahh… ah, mm," Madoka said as her fingers began to tremble on her teacup. The atmosphere was extremely tense, and there was a long silence before anyone said anything.

"I still love you, Madoka," Homura started. "I just couldn't bear to see how you were always sacrificing yourself. You should've grown up and lived a long and happy life, even if I couldn't… You would've had a wonderful family and wonderful friends. We could be normal schoolgirls and best friends and maybe even lovers if that was what was necessary…" Homura's words began to quietly fade away as Holden took a sip of his tea.

"Do you think Madoka can bear to see you like this?" Holden asked. "Do you think the other girls – do you think anyone that cares about you wants you to become this devil-like being?"

"You see the problem, don't you?!" Homura exclaimed. Her right hand was balled up into a fist and trembling. "You, being crazy, should understand… Love isn't merely just following someone like an authority, sometimes… Sometimes risks have to be taken to do what's best… You made your wish for every magical girl that ever existed, Madoka. Your heart allowed you to understand everybody, everybody except that one friend of yours that wanted you all to herself…"

"Homura-chan…" Madoka started after a short silence, about to tear up. "But Homura-chan, if I were to go back to being the Law of Cycles, I couldn't give you any special treatment…" Homura stayed silent, containing her rage within her heart. "But Homura-chan, I don't hate you… I never hated you, and could never hate you… It's the same with the other girls too. We all want you to come back, Homura-chan…"

"…And Zusa will replace my Law with the Law of Chaos," Homura said. "And I'd risk losing you all over again…" Everybody could feel it. This conversation was going nowhere.

"Homura-chan," Holden interrupted after taking another sip of his tea. "You think you're satisfying your love, but you're missing so many things if you continue like this. You went through a lot and you need a lot of love right now, but love is about vulnerability…"

"I thought it would be like that…" Homura muttered, looking down at the table. "But when Madoka came back to meet me, when I was going to disappear into the Law of Cycles, I just knew that her love wasn't what I needed… I wasn't ready to submit myself to her. And it'd be the same with Zusa's Law of Chaos. Madoka would care too much about other people…"

Holden sighed. "Allow me to posit a Theory of Evil then, if you're just going to bring up more and more paradoxes. Homura, you aren't an evil person, and neither is Madoka… Well, this theory only deems events and suffering as evil and not the agents themselves. I don't think Evil is a certain trait, but rather the conflict that causes suffering. It would be roughly the same if people became very friendly and selfish communal creatures and if people had no social urges and merely lived for themselves - either way, there would not be any unpleasant surprises or disappointments because for every human being one nature is set into place. (I think sociopaths hardly suffer) I would say that evil is the conflict between personal, individual desire and universal, harmonious desire... And so in a utilitarian situation where the cherished minority has to be sacrificed, there is no right or better solution, because either way you are giving up a part of your love, be it the personal or harmonious part. However I'd also say that this Evil is necessary for the beauty of our current existence - to love someone significant to you as your own, but also to see in them the rest of humanity's natures. Being that a harmonious or individualist world is arguably impossible to conceive, you can say that moral indecision is required for the best of possible worlds, even if some evil actions are definitely unnecessary... I think this premise isn't too absurd if you consider that that which causes suffering is popularly considered Evil, and certain attitudes or dispositions don't actually cause suffering without differences or conflict.

"…And well then, Homura, wasn't your love for Madoka originally because you saw her humanity in those cherished and personal eyes of hers?"

"Heh," It was almost as if Homura was amused. "What are you saying? That we both should stop being such radical beings and live more balanced lives…? I would think that I really only loved Madoka because she was nice to me when everyone else wasn't. It's nothing as deep as that."

"Perhaps it's something else then?" Holden continued. "You know, there's a famous chapter in Russian masterpiece The Brothers Karamazov where Ivan, the atheist, argues against the existence of God. The chapter is titled 'Rebellion' and Ivan explains the Problem of Evil in a very dramatic sense, taking very… shocking examples of humanity's crimes against itself. The argument would be that no good God, no satisfactory God would allow such horrible things to happen, that the greatest forms of human suffering are morally inexcusable… You've suffered a lot, Homura. Perhaps you may be right that when Madoka was the Law of Cycles she was indeed unsatisfactory, for she permitted your suffering, the unforgivable suffering of someone that had fought an eternity for her. But your alternative, then… This reverts back to my theory of Evil – Evil may not be 'necessary' but we cannot destroy it without destroying our own humanity in its process. We can only pray or fight or comfort, or desperately try and forgive each other, lest we become… Well, a demon, much like you, Homura. Do you hate humanity and the gods they created so much that you have to sit on your throne as the evil demon queen of Love?"

Homura snapped out an invisible gun and pointed it directly at Holden's head. "That's interesting," she said. "You aren't panicking… Whatever reason that might be?"

"Homura-chan, don't do that…!" Madoka exclaimed.

"Why shouldn't I?" Homura asked. "He's just blurting stuff that hardly anyone would understand and being a pervert that's into little girls. He's definitely not an Incubator, but maybe he's another type of unwelcome alien. He does come from another universe, after all…"

"Homura-chan!" Madoka clasped Homura's shooting arm. "Can't you see it? He's human, just like you…!"

Homura turned to Madoka in shock, and dropped the invisible gun. "You still consider me…"

Madoka loosened her grasp slightly, and the words came out of her mouth nervously. "…Yes, Homura-chan, you're still…"

"One of us," Holden finished. This time Homura could resist her urge to threaten the young man. "Nothing exactly to be proud of, but really, you haven't done anything with your life that was grossly inhumane by colloquial standards. I know you probably don't want to hear about me, but I did spend most of my teenage years being a pathetic loser – I mean, I had fun, but I felt so rejected and so socially awkward and much like a worthless piece of shit at times, and I didn't really have a good excuse like most people with depression, and I ended up developing a mostly insufferable ego in my attempts to get on with life… And well, I can't say I amounted to a great person, but I was able to bounce back."

"…I won't say you've been through less than me, although that's probably so." Homura's hands were back down on her sides. "But it's still a different scenario..."

"Is it?" Holden asked. "Maybe there's a better example. You know how they turned young boys into hardened warriors in the ancient Greek city-state of Sparta? They'd take away the boys from their parents at the young age of six and throw them into a camp where they were commanded to beat the living shit out of each other. At the age of twelve things got much worse. They would wear one piece of clothing for the entire year and were forced to make beds out of raw reeds – the winters there would kill an average adult man within around fifteen minutes, but the boys struggled on. They were hardly given any food, and what was given was pretty bad stuff, so in any case they would have to learn to steal to survive, but if they were caught by the officials they'd be beaten and whipped severely – there's a story of one boy who stole a baby fox to eat and was about to get caught, so he forced it into his cloth and let the fox slowly bite him to death instead of being caught… In any case, when the boys had turned into men and were around twenty, they were finally permitted to join groups. You know how marriage worked there though? The man would merely see sex as a husbandly duty and after would go bond with his fellow soldiers that had they had suffered with… Undoubtedly there were probably some cases where those hardened men would end up sleeping with each other, and loving each other. Sorry to make it sound like a history lesson, but I guess I just wanted to say that no matter how much it seems like you've been broken, there's a good chance that fundamental loving and human nature is still alive… Even if it's morally incorrect, I mean. The Spartan slaves outnumbered the citizens at least ten to one and were kept in line with cruelty, but I'm sure that many humans in those ancient times living in the most hellish conditions found their salvation…"

"Through humanity, then?" Homura asked. Upon listening to Holden's story, Madoka was almost crying. "…It's not like I would make light of what happened to those boys and men… I wouldn't divide people by gender either, but after long enough, doesn't humanity just seem too weak and unreliable?"

"Hmph," Holden said. "I think I have problems coming to terms with that too, but even then, reaching out for a fellow human is the closest way, perhaps the surest way for salvation… There may be divine concepts and holy worlds beyond us, but those seem to be false and distant strengths that distort the mind. We are by nature, quite rotten, weak and unreliable, and you shouldn't expect to love if it's otherwise." Holden turned to Madoka. "It's okay to cry here, Madoka… I didn't always, but oftentimes when I had seen or learned about this sort of stuff in history I'd fall into that shocked state as well. My male nature permitted me to get angry more than cry, which isn't always a good thing though."

"…We're getting nowhere with this," Homura said as she looked at Madoka's teary face. "By describing all of these problems with people you just make it seem like the world you want me to come back into is definitely that confusing hell I sought to escape from… Madoka especially, who can cry for anyone and save anyone – why invest your time in me when you can make plenty of other people's lives better?"

"Homura-chan…" Madoka cried as she wiped off tears from the sides of her eyes. "You really don't understand, do you…?"

"Quite fruitless to try to rationalize that sort of instinct," Holden said. "I thought that way too back in the days. Why care about myself so much when there were others who had it worse than me, others that could do much more in my position? Well, I won't go that much into details, but Homura, if Madoka's love isn't enough… You know, I did sort of say I'd be there. I've definitely had that burning desire to rewrite the world and curse myself more than once for you, even if I never had the power to accomplish that." Homura scrutinized Holden's dark brown eyes. "In those time loops of yours, you were unbelievably strong, and pursued your love with a pure heart… That's how I saw you at first. It was a while until I was able to see what had happened to you afterwards, but I loved you more and not less after that. That weakness, that pain we all share is a necessary part of us and isn't something to be ashamed of. I would currently say that I don't love you because of what you did or what you'd do for me, but rather, it's just that I find you have a beautiful mind…"

"Would I, I mean my mind, just be a plaything for that curiosity of yours then?" Homura asked. "Along with your deviant interest in small girls?"

Holden shrugged. "You can look at anybody's love from a certain perspective and reason it to have simply originated out of a pathetic nature. If you want to make it so that what you went through is beautiful and not a pointless cycle of pain, all you have to do is think about it and believe…"

"You sort of seem to be half-joking in all of this," Homura said. "I don't know what it is exactly, but in a way you really have gone crazier than me after all, huh?"

Holden shrugged. "It was thanks to the internet and its potential for rapid, random information and my quick-footed curiosity that I wasn't always lurking in despair. Sometimes, even in the midst of pain, there's no better thing to do than laugh."

"I don't want to be with a crazy person like you," Homura stated bluntly. "But in a sense you really make it seem like those of us willing and able to go to such depths do sink into that insanity… I don't want that. Normal people would just want to live a normal life, and this is the closest thing to what I'd want." A short silence passed between the three.

"Homura-chan, I'm still willing to be there…" Madoka started. "To go to those places for you, and I do want to be able to hug you again…"

"…It's like that for everybody you meet, Madoka," Homura said softly this time. Madoka couldn't really deny that as Homura turned to Holden. "…And I'm betting that the only ones willing to love me in those ways I want are mental perverts like him…"

"Then at least get better somehow, okay?" Madoka asked. "I hardly understood any of what Holden said besides what he said about the Spartan boys, but I don't think either of you are bad people that need to face all of this suffering…"

"Why do you have this blind faith of yours?" Homura asked. "Why do you always believe that people can connect and heal even if it's not so…?" Madoka couldn't give an immediate answer to that.

"Because what's the alternative?" Holden asked. "To try and control as many things as possible and stand alone from the human world that tormented you? To not let your love fall freely because you don't think your heart is good enough? I've embraced that alternative many times and I'll just say that as time goes on, you'll learn it's not at all pleasant…"

"If that's what naturally happens to people that take that path, let me be a demon for a little while longer then," Homura said. "I think you've said everything you've wanted to say, mental pervert."

"It's probably so," Holden said as he set down his tea and left the apartment just like that. Madoka and Homura sat in silence for a good while.

"…What's wrong with it?" Madoka asked after a while. "What's wrong with loving everybody? Does that make us too different to be together?"

"That crazy guy can explain the tragic greatness of humanity all he wants," Homura said. "Maybe I have the capacity to want happy friends, and want to live in a happy city… But I can't be like you, Madoka – I'm not even sure if I'm jealous of that. I could hardly feel anything when Holden related the account of the Spartans. It all seemed so pointless."

"Homura-chan…" Madoka said. "That's how I think most people are…"

"…Why then?" Homura asked. "Why are you so insistent on saving the magical girls when they can't connect back to you, when they can't love you back? Or can they after you force some sort of holy truth upon them? I don't want to see you doing either of those things… I'm not even sure if that's why I loved you… I really do think that everything happened because my feelings were pathetic, and I can't find that part of me that would redeem everything and make it beautiful…"

"Homura-chan," Madoka looked deep into her friend's eyes. "Even if it was stupid or happened on a whim… Maybe it's a different way than Holden would put it, but I still think that these feelings… These lives of the magical girls I can save are beautiful. They're precious and important and need to be protected… It hurts me inside to see that I can't protect the person that loved me the most, but I can't abandon everyone else just for you, Homura-chan…" Another silence.

"Do you want to sleep with me for the night?" Homura asked.

Madoka nodded. "If that's what it needs to make things better…" Homura started to get up from her seat, but suddenly changed her mind.

"I don't think I'm ready for that," Homura admitted. "Please just… leave for now. After everything that was said, I think I need some time for myself."

"…Okay then, Homura-chan," Madoka said as she bowed and began leaving, thinking of where to stay after all of this. "But everyone needs to be held sometime, okay?" After Madoka left, Homura stood above the tea table in silence for a little bit.

"Quite intriguing," Kyubey said as it jumped out of the shadows and into the scene. "I was just wondering, you humans call self-awareness, along with the ability to quickly process concepts intelligence, don't you?"

"Beats me," Homura said as she brushed away one of her bangs and sat down on her seat again. If Kyubey didn't leave soon she would probably start firing bullets at it.

"And yet among all of the humans I've observed, none have been able to break away from that irrational cycle of emotions, no matter how intelligent they were," Kyubey said. "Some tried to fight it and invented religion or heaven, while many decided to stay on this world and embrace those illogical feelings. Of course, in the end, it wasn't any well-thought out plan, but merely the intensity of your feelings that led to the current situation. To this day we still wonder how that's possible."

"…You're right," Homura said. "My feelings stand strong and alone, no matter how much they try to persuade me otherwise. Bridges can't be built by conversations, no matter how intelligent they're made to be."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Kyubey said. "Your thought patterns wildly deviate for sure, but still share fundamental attributes with the rest of your species."

"Are you planning something with that weirdo?" Homura asked. The white-tailed being didn't respond to that question. "It didn't seem like he was lying about loving me though. Can you tell me why that is?"

"While it's true that humans fall in love for arbitrary reasons, there are logical theories why they persist and stay in that state," Kyubey said. "Humans have a much longer childhood and thus much longer period of vulnerability than most species, so attachments are important. There are your fellow mammals like large cats that have the male leave the family after mating, but that's certainly not the case with your species. Because a human female usually only carries one child during her vulnerable pregnancy, there's much less permission to lose it as compared to cats who have their offspring in litters. As a result, the males tend to stick around and help, and that creates quite the amount of social connections – in the end, those were thought to be the source of energy for magical girls."

"What does that mean then?" Homura asked.

"I guess it's that even if you try to reject everybody else, the only reason you have this energy and power is because of your feelings for other humans," Kyubey said. "It doesn't make a difference who you are – no matter how much people have tried to fight it or no matter how aware of it they are, humans are stuck in a cage of social connections."

"Hmph," Homura said. "I've heard all I needed to hear from you. Get out now." Kyubey jumped back out of the scene among those commands.

What was it, then? Homura thought as she looked up at the ceiling. That crazy man, Holden, was aware of the cage of feelings he was trapped in along with the rest of humanity, and yet he not only accepted it, but found it to be something beautiful…? Preposterous.

* * *

"It looks like he sort of improved the situation," Zusa said to Madoka. Zusa was sitting on the futon in the apartment she was renting, and Madoka was still standing nervously, not finding a second futon. Zusa had suggested this because she didn't want Holden to be doing anything funny or Madoka's parents to get suspicious, as they had been told that Madoka would be staying at Homura's. "But seriously, this is the most complicated situation I've ever had to deal with. Usually it's just fighting, some conversations maybe."

"…I just hope it all works out," Madoka said. "Are you sure everyone will be all right?"

"Didn't I tell you this before?" Zusa asked as she lay down on the futon, already having changed into her pajamas. "When it comes to my world I'm never sure about anything… But if Homura and Holden were to fight in their current states, it would be a fair match-up to say the least. The guy did pretty much rule his world in his prime, after all… But if Homura is to remain alive I can't guarantee I can put stable limits on that power of hers."

"Zu-san…" Madoka started. "You've killed people before, right?"

Zusa had an uncomfortable look on her face. "Don't call me by that name. In any case, there weren't any civilians if I recall correctly. Holden probably has a lot more blood on his hands as well… But I really guess you just have to trust us – I don't think we're inherently trigger-happy people. I always thought this universe of yours made a good deal of sense, but in the end the laws and promises became more and more distorted…" A short silence passed between the two girls. "I don't think I'd want to take over as the ruling god of this world either. I once became a sun and supported a planet full of life and fought for it when I descended onto the surface, but that stuff's different… Anyways, enough about my stories."

"Um, Zusa-san, where do I sleep?" Madoka asked. Zusa looked away, blushing a little.

"Next to me," Zusa said, and with another awkward silence Madoka, who was in her pajamas, crawled into bed next to Zusa. They both let down her twintails, Zusa releasing her long black hair and Madoka letting loose her fluffy pink hair. Madoka seemed to be a little too close to comfort, but didn't want to bring it up. "Man, I thought I'd be safer than Holden…" Zusa started. "But it's been quite a while since this and you're just so cute, and it really didn't help that the only girl I was in this sort of relationship with had a loli body and personality too so I ended up liking lolis…"

"Um, Zusa-san, it's okay…" Madoka started and with that Zusa started hugging the pink-haired girl tightly. "Um…" Madoka stammered as she looked at Zusa's face. Zusa seemed too self-aware to display the usual vulnerability that would be shown when sleeping together.

"…What?" Zusa asked with a slightly nervous smile. "Even goddesses need to cuddle, after all. Hope Homura gets something like this soon."

The next morning, Homura decided to set out and eat breakfast at a restaurant instead of merely skipping her meals like usual. She went to an American restaurant to find Kyoko and Holden sitting at the same table, and raised an eyebrow. Her arrival was immediately noticed by the pair.

"Ah, Homura," Holden said. "I just bumped into Kyoko here, that's all." Homura looked down at the stuff on the plates. It looked really weird, but she could always experiment, and as a magical being she couldn't recall the last time she had indigestion.

"Sayaka was staying over at another classmate's place for a group project and I was being lazy with breakfast like usual," Kyoko said. "Man, I really hate it when they assign partners at random; I'm not sure where I'm going with my partner…" Homura went to the counter to order a random meal, and sat down with Holden and Kyoko to wait for it to be delivered.

"Yup, that was me in a different sense," Holden said. "I ended up letting myself being shoved into the grunt role because school projects were just so limiting and usually not worth my full attention anyways. When I got to do them with the few friends I had it was overall a decently fun experience…"

"Homura, I'm guessing you're just using your magic to opt out of the project or to do it solo?" Kyoko asked as she took a bite of her hash.

"Probably," Homura said. "Since Madoka's trying so hard to win me back though I try not to abuse my power too much…"

"Oh my God, look at all this butter," Holden said. "Really, this is why Americans are so fat… Butter is pretty much fat and they give like half a stick each plate and the food is already doused in it… I mean, don't you regret ordering gravy and biscuits instead of French toast and pancakes?" Holden was looking over at Kyoko's plate. "It's freaking doused in gravy, and I can't believe you're eating most of that sauce too."

"It's good food – stop being elitist," Kyoko said. "You should be glad I'm letting you off with not eating the sauce."

"Hey, where I came from, in public schools half of the plates would still have half of the food on them if I bothered to check," Holden said. "Okay, maybe a third. Personally I'd sometimes leave the last corner of a piece of bread just unfinished but overall I finish my food."

"And undereat," Kyoko said. "Look how skinny you are…"

"That's just the clothes I'm wearing," Holden said. "On the other hand it's harder for women to lose weight, isn't it? You don't have magic to prevent you from getting fat anymore. What do you do, take huge-ass shits?"

Kyoko almost choked on her food upon hearing Holden use that term. "…Sayaka keeps me from eating this stuff most of the time."

"You two look like you're getting along really well," Homura said as her plate of food came onto the table. "Why did you say you loved me again, Holden…?"

"You know, back in the day I used to be in this sort of position too," Holden said as he ate a tiny piece of his leftover butter. "But sitting with company that notices your existence can make a difference – I mean, I don't think we're ignoring you here right? I don't know. If something needs to be said just speak up, Kyoko cares about you and I'm not a judging person to begin with… Ugh, this butter."

"Give me that if you don't want it so bad." Kyoko took the scoop of butter and shoved it into her mouth.

"F-f-f-f-f-f-fatty…" Holden said. "Oh yeah by the way, we had a less fat version of this stuff for our college breakfast like every day. You know, pancakes, hash or potatoes, waffles, sausage, eggs, bacon… That whole deal. I guess in the end when I had to have that breakfast my body wasn't that picky about things, but even if I avoided pancakes and eggs my body would still give me diarrhea…"

"You went to college in America, then?" Kyoko asked. It did seem like he was pronouncing English words without accents.

"I was born there," Holden said. "Can't really say I miss it too much. I guess I'm just a traveler by nature."

Homura looked at the back-and-forth between Holden and Kyoko. "Holden, what did you do in these situations?"

"Daydream, probably," Holden said. "Imaginary friends help. Having fantasy-prone personality helps too."

"I see…" Homura said, trying to think of a situation to imagine. It was rather challenging for her, especially since trying to imagine Madoka would just be putting her out of character. "What exactly did you imagine?"

"Pretty much anything and everything," Holden said. "I'd just like some things more so I'd focus more on those. I always felt like that was what religion was for, because in the end social standards for people are pretty strict and that people do need somewhere in their mind to escape to… It's a lot harder to be self-aware of everything you're imagining though."

"Never mind," Homura said. "I don't think I want to end up like you." Homura took a few more bites of food. "But you're right. This food is really fatty." Holden flashed Kyoko an amused look.

"…Fine, I'll admit that it's fatty even by my standards," Kyoko said. "But this restaurant still seems to be doing rather well and I think it's good."

"The culinary art of fat," Holden said. "Fat here, fat there, fat everywhere…" The young man was making weird gestures with his hands now.

Homura actually let out a dry laugh. "Weren't you hired to save the world from my control or something?"

"I don't know," Holden shrugged. "Even though you have the potential to kill me, I just feel really comfortable with both of you. I wonder why that is… Anyways, I should probably get going now. I might see you later today depending on what happens."

"…Homura," Kyoko started. "I should get going as to not be late for school, but I guess you might just let yourself be late again… Is it okay if I visit you this afternoon, or even stay the night? Holden told me what happened last night and I think that there are things we need to talk about… Maybe that's just me overestimating my value, but I think that I can help you better in that sort of one on one situation."

"Go ahead," Homura said. "Come over whenever you want." Homura's eyes still had that cold and hopeless appearance, as if she still didn't expect much.

After Kyoko alerted Sayaka of her visit during school, Homura led Kyoko to her apartment. Homura let the door close behind her gently as she walked to the center of the room. "I guess you're wondering what I do with all that spare time I have… I didn't tell anyone about that yet, did I?" Kyoko nodded. "I'll try not to hurt you…" Homura said as she twirled her hand in the air and transformed the room into one of her special labyrinths.

"This…" Kyoko started as lights and images began to surround and dance around the two girls. Moving screens of Homura's tormented past slid across the empty space, reappearing and dissolving into the endless mist. "Homura…" An odd piece of music began playing, and Homura began dancing along to it, her body contorting in awkward manners.

"I've tried to face myself like this many times before now," Homura's voice came from outside her body. "But no matter what, things didn't seem to improve… You can use all of the words that you have, but in the end I don't really know who or what I am anymore."

"Homura…!" Kyoko was stumbling now as the music began to get eerier. She almost felt like retching.

"…I'm sorry you had to see this," Homura said and the flashing backgrounds suddenly dissipated to reveal Homura's living room. "You're sleepy now, aren't you?"

"…Yeah," Kyoko said. It had become dark outside already, and the clock pointed to 11 PM. "Ugh…"

"I don't think you can make it back home," Homura said. "I can teleport you there if I want…"

Kyoko shook her head. "No… I don't want you and Sayaka fighting over this. I did tell her that I might stay the night…" Homura gave her friend a shoulder to lean on and the two girls walked over to the single futon laid out. "Geez, it's sort of like I'm a sick person that's being taken care of," Kyoko said as she was gently laid down on the futon by Homura. "Haven't had that feeling in a while, you know…? Ah, I'm still in my school uniform."

"I'll change it," Homura said as she took out one of her spare pajamas and began undressing Kyoko. Homura did so quite slowly, as if she was pausing midway to ogle Kyoko's body. "You look healthy. That's a good sign."

"Can't you just fix everything with magic?" Kyoko asked. "Although I suppose you might like this better…"

"Like I said earlier today, I try not to use too much of that," Homura said as she began changing her own clothes now. "I'm not really sleepy, but I guess I should just stay at your side for this."

"Fine with me," Kyoko said, a little embarrassed as Homura crept near her side. A short silence passed between the two girls as Homura turned off the lights with her remote. "…What did you mean by not knowing who or what you are anymore?" Kyoko had finally spoken up.

Homura let the silence refill the air for a bit. "What do you think I am then, Sakura-san?"

"Are you still calling me that?" Kyoko asked. "Just use my first name… We should be good friends by now I think." Homura looked up at the dark ceiling. The only good friend she had wasn't good enough for her… Was it something like that? "Anyways, Homura, I always just thought of that strong and lovely character that wanted to protect who you needed to protect, you know? I heard it all from Madoka later on and saw a lot of what you went through… You were cold at times, you made mistakes at times, but even now, I think you're a good person and a good friend…"

"Is that what you really think?" Homura cut off Kyoko's sentence. "I think that was all an illusion. When I was forced into my own Witch's barrier – when I was forced to see my own nightmares I just… I just broke down. I realized that I was just a helpless little girl and that I was swayed by a bunch of emotions and plots and I was just so sick of it… I was sick of letting love control me so I attempted to control it, and betrayed Madoka and became a demon in that process…" Another silence.

"…Well, that's understandable to a degree I think," Kyoko replied. "But I think that being controlled in that way, giving up is necessary to feel that sort of beautiful emotion… I mean, I went on living for myself for a good amount of time after my wish backfired on me, which isn't exactly the same as what you're doing now, but trading your best love for this sort of control just doesn't seem to be worth it."

"I don't know," Homura admitted. "I don't know. Maybe that's how it is and I just can't see it that way… I'm sorry about what I said to you earlier, and I'm sorry I got you into this mess. Maybe without me you would have just suffered and died in one timeline, but I don't want you to have to go through my nightmares as well as your own."

"It's really hard, isn't it…?" Kyoko asked. "You can't exactly tell people what happened to you for a good number of reasons, and when you want to tell Madoka, she's busy listening to everybody else's stories as well, even if she reverts to being human again… But let us at least try to burden your pain together. I don't exactly know what you think of Sayaka and Mami, but they're both willing to help."

"Sayaka Miki was just a person that didn't understand," Homura said. "And I'm not sure she'd understand no matter how hard I tell it to her… Mami Tomoe, well she… Our personalities are just too different for that, I think. She's too pleasant on the outside and I'm not." Another silence passed as Kyoko tried to think of something else.

"Do you want to cuddle?" Kyoko asked. "I don't usually do it with Sayaka – I mean we have our own beds, but sometimes one of us really needs it. You really look like you've gone hug-less for a while." Homura wasn't sure how to respond to such an offer. "Does my friendship with you… My love for you not matter then?" Kyoko asked.

Homura put a hand on Kyoko's shoulder. "Ah, you're warm, aren't you… If that's the case, go ahead." It was rather nice, Homura thought as Kyoko began pressing up against her. But there still wasn't enough of her. Just like there wasn't enough of Madoka left to love…

Kyoko fell into unconsciousness soon after, having been tired out from Homura's psychedelic journey after all. And she didn't even eat dinner… Homura thought as she gently caressed Kyoko's messy hair. Even if they disapproved… This way, couldn't Homura protect her friends better? In the new world of Chaos Zusa would create there would undoubtedly be a large number of dangerous illusions, and if that was so, the five magical girls of Mitakihara might end up killing each other after all. Wouldn't it be better to just have Homura sacrifice her sanity and soul…?

* * *

"Man, that was tiring," Sayaka said to herself after she was finished with her kendo practice. "I really did rely on my magic a lot, huh…" As the blue-haired girl began to walk back to her apartment she suddenly bumped into a suspicious sight.

"Eight… Nine… Ten…" Holden muttered as he was positioning himself in some sort of half-squatting stance. He then shifted and twisted his body to the right. From Sayaka's point of view, the stretches looked quite troublesome and as if they were part of some martial art. On top of that the young man was wearing a T-shirt and shorts in the chilly spring night.

"What exactly are you doing?" Sayaka asked. Holden didn't even turn his eye to glance at Sayaka. "If the police saw you here they might mistake you for some mental pervert."

"Just warming up," Holden said as he shifted back to the squatting position. "Doing some stances."

"What exactly is this?" Sayaka asked. "And why do it in these clothes?"

"It's Baji," Holden said. "A Chinese martial art… Your entire body warms up when doing it so if I'm too cold that just tells me I'm doing it wrong." Holden shifted his stance again.

"Really now…" Sayaka murmured. "So I'm guessing you were chosen for this task of fixing this world because you're able to properly defend yourself?"

"Ehh, at my present state I can't take down a goddess, but since Zusa is limiting Homura's powers, I should be a match for her if things come to the worst." Holden went back to the default horse stance.

"And yet you're fooling around having weird conversations instead of actually fighting her?" Sayaka asked.

"Fighting her won't help at all," Holden said. "Zusa could pretty much beat Homura hundreds of times and it wouldn't make a difference… She isn't a fighter, you know? I just see her as a lover, or maybe just a girl with a damaged heart and mind."

"And who are you to volunteer to step into this big mess?" Sayaka asked. "Don't tell me you're some sort of destined hero that practiced this legendary martial art since you were born…"

"Nah," Holden said. "I started this whole thing when I was eighteen and a college freshman under the instruction of some Vietnamese guy around two inches shorter than me in a club. When it comes to magic though, certain forms in martial arts can counter or break it entirely…" Sayaka looked pretty skeptical as Holden wrapped up his warm-ups with a deep breath as he rose, and then exhaled. "In your world of magical girls that may seem strange I guess."

"Let me see then," Sayaka said as she took out her wooden sword. "I'm not an expert at all with this, but I have been training ever since I got stuck in this world with the others… It's been harder to find something involving a spear for Kyoko, but it turned out that Shaolin did feature quite a bit of that. Hell, if guns were legal in Japan I'm sure Mami would go nuts as well. Madoka on the other hand has just sort of reverted to her timid self…"

"I didn't join any clubs till college, and hardly joined any extracurricular events," Holden said. "I really wished I could find that damn SOS Brigade… Anyways, I'm ready." Holden got into a fighting stance. Sayaka raised her sword and made a swift and powerful vertical slash, but Holden simply stepped to the side and twisted his body, dealing a hard blow to Sayaka's arm with his right hand. The wooden sword dropped out of her grasp and spun along the ground. "No magic used, trust me on that one."

"Um…" A third voice spoke up from the evening darkness. "Onii-san, Onee-san, can you two help me find my way back home?" Holden and Sayaka turned to see an oddly familiar small figure.

"…Nagisa!" Sayaka exclaimed.

"Eh?" Nagisa Momoe asked. "How do you know my name…?"

"Really looks like she lost her memories after all," Holden said. "What brings you out so late at night, little girl?"

Sayaka quickly scrambled to pick up her wooden sword, ignoring the pain in her arm. "Try anything suspicious and you'll face my wrath, lolicon."

"Um…" Nagisa started. "My parents said no more dessert for the night, so I went out to look for some cheesecake, but the bakery was closed and I went out further… I couldn't find anything and I kind of got lost."

"Alright then," Holden said. "If we can't help her get back home we'll just find the police station," Holden said as he turned to Sayaka. "Does that sound like a good plan?" Sayaka still looked rather suspicious. "Don't worry," Holden said. "My age of attraction is 11-15 and the height I like is around 4'10" to 5'2"... wait, those are American measurements…"

"I'm ten," Nagisa said as she walked up to Sayaka and Holden. "Anyways, can we get some cheesecake on the way home?"

"Sure, sure," Holden said as he began to lead the way, Sayaka following him besides Nagisa.

"Didn't your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?" Sayaka asked. "I'm Sayaka Miki, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," Nagisa said. "My parents did say that, but Sayaka-onee-san and…"

"Just call him Pervert," Sayaka said.

"And Pervert-san looked like nice people," Nagisa said.

"Just don't keep clinging to those oversimplified terms as you grow older," Holden said. "If you do you'll miss out on a lot life has to offer you… Here's the convenience store. We can probably find a cheesecake here." Nagisa's eyes lit up upon seeing the store.

"Wahn~!" Nagisa exclaimed as she ran into the store. "As a special sign of thanks I'll share it with you two too!" Nagisa said as she darted from aisle to aisle, Sayaka and Holden slowly trailing her. Holden couldn't notice but see an adoring smile spread across Sayaka's face.

"Was that how you were at this age?" Holden asked.

"Eh," Sayaka said. "Less obsessed with cheese… You?"

"I'm surprised you asked that," Holden said. "I was actually rather introverted and prone to fantasies… Those facts really caused my mind to go crazy before I actually ended up talking to people." Nagisa was now happy with her cheesecake and checked it out with the cashier, paying in cash.

"Come on, let's eat at the benches outside!" Nagisa waved to the two, and Holden and Sayaka slowly followed the white-haired girl outside. Nagisa had already opened the box and was slowly cutting the cake with a plastic knife she had found. Apparently Nagisa would be getting half while Sayaka and Holden would get a quarter. It was an average sized cheesecake and looked to have plenty of sugar.

"Ugh, Sayaka said among taking her first bite. "I'm not sure I can eat all this. Without magic I'll probably get fat… The food at school is unhealthy enough as it is."

"Cheesu-cheesu-cheesu-cheesu-cheesu-cheesu-cheesu…" Nagisa mumbled as she nibbled on the cake rapidly. Holden ate his piece at a moderate pace. "Ah, by the way," Nagisa said as she lifted her head, her mouth all covered in cream. "I really don't like how you can't have your cake and eat it too…"

"Tnnneghghh!" Holden sniggered as he almost dropped his slice of cake, letting out a weird laugh. "Heahahaheahahah…"

"What's so funny about that?" Sayaka asked.

"Nothing," Holden said. "It was just a weird American expression."

"Ah, can Sayaka-onee-san not eat her cake?" Nagisa asked. Nagisa's piece was already down to a slimmer. "I'll eat it for you then! After all, I want to be as tall as Pervert-san some day!" With that being said, Holden started laughing yet again.

"This is so stupid…" Holden muttered. "Aim higher, Nagisa. Be 12-13 feet like Raoh in Fist of the North Star… Over four meters. Or be a sumo wrestler…"

"I think I've only got three to four inches to grow," Sayaka commented. "Our homeroom teacher is already shorter than most of the class and she seems fine with that."

After the three were done eating the cake Holden and Sayaka attempted to find Nagisa's home for her, and when they couldn't find it, they instead went to the police station. Nagisa's parents were there and looked pretty worried. "Thank you two so much," they said as they bowed. "Did you eat more cake, Nagisa?" The white-haired girl tried to look as innocent as possible, but bits of cake were all over her mouth. "You'll get fat if you eat so much…"

"We'll meet again sometime, Sayaka-onee-san, Pervert-onii-san!" Nagisa exclaimed as Holden and Sayaka began to leave.

"Well then, do you have a better opinion of me now?" Holden asked as he left the police station with Sayaka. "Oddly enough, it's these little experiences that contribute to most of our opinions of people rather than detailed life stories…"

"…You're still an unpleasant pervert even if you don't have bad intentions," Sayaka said. "And from how you reacted to that comment I'm guessing a lot of people have said the same too."

"Don't worry, I don't find you particularly attractive." Holden said. "You may have the height down but everything else, and those breasts…"

"…Why don't we talk about something else?" Sayaka asked.

"…Alright then," Holden said, a bit disappointed. "So you've completely lost interest in that violin boy?" Sayaka supposed this was a better topic than fetishes. "He's got a nice-enough face and has heaps of raw talent, and he's pretty tall for his age too… But personality-wise, I don't think he's all that attractive. Plus he has a pretty high-pitched voice too."

"Not everyone can have your deep manly voice, you know," Sayaka said, rather annoyed by that comment.

"I don't know, my voice was pretty deep at 13-14," Holden said. "I guess personally I had the potential for talent, as in I learned things I was interested in faster than others even while I underachieved in school… But you know, I really did spend most of my teenage years as a pretty pathetic person – well, you can argue that's how it is for most people anyways. Adults have those same problems and just hide it better, too…. But what I'm trying to say is that I actually think there should be a few more years before you go back to being a magical girl. I know if I had gotten magic at your age things would've gone down just as bad here if not worse… I really needed those dumb teenage years to experiment and improve as a person."

"…Right," Sayaka said. "What you're saying sort of makes sense, but I feel it's too late for me now. Even if I was only a magical girl for maybe two weeks or so in my average timeline, I feel that's just who I am now. I have friends to help me through the bad times as well, while I get the feeling you didn't."

"…All right then," Holden said as he turned and began going in his own direction. "Even if I disagree with what you're saying, deep down I'm not really a paternalistic person. See you again sometime."

* * *

"Mami-san, can you please try to talk things out with Homura-chan?" Madoka was staying over at Mami's place for a study sleepover. "I mean, I looked into Homura's memories and you were the person she got along with the least…"

"I don't know what there is to say, really," Mami said, uncomfortable talking about the issue.

"Um, it was something to do with how you tried too hard to be formal and polite when deep down you weren't really…" Madoka started.

"Is that what she doesn't like?" Mami asked. "While I feel sorry for Akemi-san, I'm not going to change that part of me. I don't know how she was raised, but I was taught to be courteous. If she's going to call me a phony, she hides parts of her true self too, doesn't she?"

"Homura-chan never used that word…" Madoka said, her pink eyes looking very worried.

"Don't worry, it's not like I hold any hostility or think low of her because of this," Mami assured. "I'm sure she doesn't either… I'm sure that I did go crazy in a few of those timelines, but I feel Akemi-san just has to accept that there are different types of people in this world… No, that's not exactly how I should put it. In any case, I don't really think the relationship between us two is really one of the roots of the current situation, even if the fact that I won our last battle might've made her feel too weak and as if she needed to do what she did."

There wasn't much more to say concerning the subject, and gradually more pleasant topics came around. Madoka knew that it probably wouldn't be this way if she had been talking to Homura.

The next morning, Kyoko was still at Homura's house while the latter started making some breakfast. When the plates were ready, Homura shook Kyoko awake, and the redhead shook herself out of bed clumsily. "Are you really this bad at waking up?" Homura asked.

"Usually," Kyoko said. "You made breakfast? You really didn't need to do that…" Without brushing her teeth or changing, Kyoko went for the food first. Her stomach had been caught in that warped time zone, after all, and she had gone to bed without dinner.

Upon seeing her friend eat, Homura didn't really know what to say. She wanted to say "I appreciate your concern", but the fact was that Kyoko's visit hadn't actually done that much. "…I probably didn't say everything that needed to be said," Kyoko said with her mouth still full. "If you really think you're doing what you're doing for the good of all of us, don't… I don't think any one person is suited to play this role of God."

"Well, I'm just glad you stated your honest opinion on that and didn't feel the need to overcomplicate things," Homura replied. "I guess I will try to talk to Madoka more though."

"I think she already sees your side," Kyoko replied. "And no matter how you much you repeat it, she won't cave in to you. It seems corny at times, but she really does hold on to that strong sense of goodness…"

"…Again and again," Homura said, getting rather annoyed. "How can she have faith in something she can't even see? Isn't that the cause of the suffering of all magical girls? I've rested so much of my time and effort on those impossible hopes… It only makes sense to feel the need to secure power, right?"

"…I don't know about that," Kyoko said. "All of this isn't my area of expertise… Well, maybe some know more than others but I still think that everybody knows next to nothing concerning these matters. All I can really say is that I don't want to see a good friend of mine suffer like this."

Homura couldn't respond to that. Friendship - again an invisible thing…

After school, Homura contacted Madoka and asked her to meet up and talk with her that afternoon. Madoka looked to have a lot of thoughts on her mind, but didn't seem to have any way that she knew would bring her friend back to her side. It was like how it had been with Sayaka, except this time, Homura had rejected her final salvation and hope altogether.

"Jeez, you really are going to get questioned by the police one day," Sayaka said as the five magical girls bumped into Holden outside the school gates.

"In my lifetime that's actually happened many times before," Holden said with a smile as he turned to Homura and Madoka. "You two seem to be going your own ways. Mind if I tag along?"

Homura turned to Madoka as if asking for Madoka's opinion, and Madoka shook her head meekly. "…Homura-chan, wouldn't you prefer it if we talked alone though?"

"I think I have some things to say to this guy too," Homura said. "No reason to not do both given the opportunity."

Holden followed Madoka and Homura, and the trio silently made their way to the apartment. "Um… Homura-chan, how is everything?" Homura looked a bit annoyed.

"It's complicated. You'll find out more when I say what I want to say."

"You know, whenever the people in my college hall would ask me those sorts of questions I'd just brush it off with another 'hey' or 'fine' because I wasn't quite sure what to say," Holden said. "I was also usually thinking of lolis, philosophy or weird fights were going in my head after all…" No response to that, but it looked like Holden had amused himself.

A few more minutes and the trio was sitting around the tea table with Homura pouring the teacups again. "Madoka…" Homura started after the tea was all ready. "Do you think I'm a good person?"

"Of course I do, Homura-chan…!" Madoka started.

"Why?" Homura asked in a cold voice.

"Um, er…" Madoka started and forced a nervous smile. "I remember the day we first met, Homura-chan. You were shy and nervous, but I could see the good in your eyes. You wanted to do something good, to be of use to someone…"

"Are you sure that wasn't an illusion?" Homura cut off her caring friend. "Are you sure that you aren't just seeing the goodness in people even when it isn't there? Even if that isn't so, are you sure that I wasn't… That I'm not just some empty little girl trying to use others to validate my identity?" Homura wasn't quite sure what she was saying now.

"Homura-chan…" Madoka was on the verge of tears again. "Why are you saying this…?" Homura wasn't exactly sure herself.

"Law. Order. Respect. Those are things we need to live together as humans," Holden said. "I suppose by questioning where goodness really lies Homura doubts its objective existence. And if goodness is an entirely subjective thing, what she's currently doing can be called justified."

"…Maybe it's something like that," Homura admitted. "Sometimes it feels like I was born half-blind while the rest of you four girls had something I didn't…"

"I don't know what you're saying," Madoka said. "But even if people are all different, there are things that make us the same… Homura-chan, by doing this we can't connect with each other – you can't connect with other people…"

"Why are other people important in the first place?" Homura asked. "Because they can throw you off a cliff if you do something they think is wrong? That doesn't apply to me now… Those ideals of goodness are only there as rules to be agreed on, things that keep us safe… Maybe deep down we really are all demons inside."

"Hmmph," Holden chuckled. "I guess I'll add another cent of mine to this conversation. I'll use the shortened version though. One way of thinking about society is that it's a social contract, but that's really not all it is. We live together and share values because we can get more things done if we work together… If each person does what he or she is good at, and everybody trades the products of those crafts… If each person does what he or she was born for, wouldn't that be a splendid happiness?"

"Why then?" Homura asked. "Why do I exist? I've failed at protecting Madoka so many times and all I'm doing now is making her cry…" Madoka was still tearing up, so Holden spoke in her place with a troubled expression.

"Of course, admittedly that's too ideal," Holden said. "There are babies born with defects, both mental and physical. Well then, maybe we'll admit that maybe there's a potential beyond humanity if one secured unlimited power like you do now… But tell me, in your place, are you happy? Doesn't it hurt even more than when you were stuck in those loops repeating time over and over again?" Homura just narrowed her eyes among hearing such an idea. "…People are born for different things," Holden said. "But I'm pretty sure we aren't born to be rulers with godlike power."

"Why do you exist then?" Homura asked Holden. "I know why Madoka exists – she is a person to love and be loved by almost everybody… I tried to love like that with just one person and failed… But how about you then? Do you exist to only have fun in whatever outrageous manners you deem entertaining?"

"…Maybe you're right," Holden said. "Maybe you weren't born to be with Madoka forever if it doesn't make you happy."

"My love is tainted after all," Homura said. "It really does feel that I only existed to love Madoka, and I only loved her because that gave me a reason to live."

"…Enough with the 'tainted' crap," Holden said. "It doesn't matter where love originated. It exists and flows freely, unashamed. As an emotion, love exists independently of time, and…"

"It has quite the destructive nature," Homura said, finally letting her troubled expression show on her face. "Maybe Madoka won't ever experience that destruction for herself, but you…." Homura met Holden's eyes. "Your eyes – you understand, don't you?"

"Perhaps," Holden shrugged. "There are too many different types of that emotion to say for sure. It's like a puzzle or a maze, isn't it?"

"Madoka…" Homura started as she inched forwards on her knees and suddenly embraced Madoka. "I'm sorry, I really am… But when you reached out for me and wanted to accept me into that Cycle, some part of me just screamed that it wasn't enough."

"Homura-chan," Madoka said, finally letting her tears loose and returning the hug. "Please… It hurts, but tell me all you need to. I still… We still all want to be there for you, and…"

Homura suddenly shuddered and pushed away from Madoka. "…Again, I'm sorry. I don't know why it is this way, really…"

"You know, gods do a pretty lousy job of saving people compared to humans," Holden said. "You've both heard of the Dark Ages, haven't you? Or just parts of it… Curiosity and science were limited or forbidden because they would save humanity instead of God – a similar thing actually happened in the early twentieth century when our species threatened to collapse upon itself. But in the end, we began to live better, fuller lives because of our fellow humans and not because of God, unless you want to accept a convoluted divine explanation. Vaccines, indoor plumbing, electricity, infrastructure, all that sort of good stuff. Perhaps at heart, Madoka's character is just too divine and not human enough."

"Madoka had insecurities and weaknesses like everybody else," Homura started.

"Oh, get real," Holden said with a slight, sarcastic grin on his face. "'I'm not perfect because I lack self confidence, I'm not perfect because I'm weak…' This is still an unrealistic personality we're talking about here. You know what, Homura-chan?" Holden and Homura met eyes, and the air around them began to tense. "Perhaps a defining feature of humans is that they're crazy. The crazier the person the more human he is… Hey, aren't young girls kind of wired to be attracted to older men and not fragile people their age? Along with the advantages in size we've also got the toughness and experience to protect someone in the fragile world of natural chance…"

"Shut up, will you?" Homura said. "I didn't want to generalize your gender from what I saw of that violin boy, but I always did wish that you men would live up to your reputation as heroes. You go up on the newspapers and down in the history books, but all you really do is talk and kill each other…"

"Homura-chan, that's…" Madoka began, but Holden held up a hand.

"…Besides the fact that it's not healthy to hate either half of your species, there's quite a few things to be said to your accusation," Holden said. "Being a man isn't all about killing other men and getting the spotlight, you know. Even if we accept the premise that it was magical girls who have advanced civilization that still doesn't negate the fact that men ended up doing the grunt work. Around 90% of the stuff around you was probably built by the hands of a man, and it's in no way easy. Go down to the coal mines or into the sewers and breathe the deadly air, have your entire body stained in dirt and grime. Or maybe build roads through the mountains and set up that dangerous dynamite, or help construct that building in the cold and heat while trying not to plunge to your death. Maybe work with some big machines and lose a finger or lose a limb. It's a lot harder with no magic to help you, and if an accident does render you dead it's pathetic and not tragic, and if you're alive at the end of the day you're nothing but a replaceable peon… Being male doesn't make any of this pleasant, and it doesn't make the killing and dying nice either. Maybe you can say that as a particular individual I'm pretentious trash, and maybe you'd be right… I've worked in some of these fields just out of curiosity during my travels though, and all those men weren't working to gain some individual satisfaction either. Care to guess why then?"

"…Wasn't that what they just needed to do to survive at the time?" Homura asked.

"Ha… That's one way to put it," Holden replied. "Glad you didn't consider my gender naturally oppressive though – we all suffered together, you know… But you know why I think we do what we do? It's love. Love for humanity, love for their families… To kill and die and give yourself up as a slave, to allow others to distort your image and legacy so that your spouse and child can eat another meal and live another day… I don't know, doesn't it feel that way? In our modern world of petty emotions we're still surrounded by love… Even if it hurts more than it heals, doesn't it all seem very wonderful?" A sudden sensitivity had come over the young man, and Madoka began to tear up again. "Really, don't take a man's love lightly. Maybe there are some manga aficionados that claim yuri is the purest form of love, and maybe that's true because men generally get dirty in the sort of morally ambiguous work they do. But the feelings are intense, that's for sure, and I think it's all inherently valuable."

"…What?" Homura asked, her eyes almost shining with the naïve and innocent light of a child again. "Are you saying you'd go through that sort of stuff for me then?"

"I guess you caught me," Holden said with a smile. "Maybe you think I wonder and talk too much, and maybe I'd die on the first week of work, but I'd certainly try all that for your sake. I'm not like Madoka, I'm not really good at loving humanity – I went on adventures to adventure, I talked to talk… But even when you're wrong, even if your heart is broken and twisted, I still think you're beautiful and worth all that sacrifice, Homura…"

"…Can you listen to me and get out for a while then?" Homura asked as she cradled her head and gave Holden an extended palm. "I need to think about all this for a while."

"…Sure," Holden said as he got up and left the room. A short silence passed between the two girls as Homura continued to look down at the patterns of her coffee table. This was why Madoka's was who she was. Everybody's love had a deep story to it and fought against other loves. Some were stronger than others, and even if Homura's love was among the strongest, did she simply not accept that there were others who could be equal to her in that regard, others that would compete with her desire and raison d'être?

"…He doesn't seem to be a con man," Homura said. She was wondering on what she really could say in response to all of that and remembered what Holden said. The origins and background of the love didn't matter and only the intensity of the feeling did… Didn't she agree with all of that?

"He really isn't, Homura-chan," Madoka said. "None of the people that visited you were. They all…"

"They all meant what they said, and I rejected them because of my own feelings?" Homura asked. What was this anger, this disappointment, this frustration boiling inside of her? Even with his foolishness Holden had an intellect and feeling worth seeing, worth testing… "I'll see who he really is soon. Feel free to stay here as long as you want. I'll try to think things through."

Outside the entire apartment complex, Holden found a relatively secluded place and began practicing his Baji, inhaling and exhaling sharply as he performed his movements. The tension from the conversation had given him fuel that he really needed to wear out for now. He felt vigorous and full of energy, but he also had a sad look in his eyes.

"Oh, you're here," Sayaka said as she came up to Holden with Kyoko. "Hey, your face… What happened?"

"…There was something about loving Homura, wasn't there?" Kyoko asked as Holden continued to focus on his movements and strikes. "As weird as you are, you really meant all of it, didn't you?"

"So what then?" Sayaka asked. "The age difference between you two shouldn't be that bad if you wait a few years… You've sort of made your confession, haven't you? But I guess at the same time you're also trying to resolve the situation…"

Holden suddenly closed the practice, taking a deep breath and exhaling. "I'm really not sure where I should go from now on," the young man said softly. "I have so many things I want to say to her and do with her but I can't know what I should actually do… I've loved her for so many years now and I really can't risk messing things up here."

"Just be honest," Kyoko said. "I can't imagine you making a good liar… I mean, last night I looked Homura in the eyes and it really seemed like all she needed that sort of honest and personal love. But getting there would be quite a challenge, I'll have to admit that."

"…Well, thanks for whatever support you just gave me," Holden said as he began walking off in his own direction. Perhaps in all those years of living life he should've tried and gained better social skills after all, but with social skills came manipulation and dishonesty, even if really was all innocent and unconscious, and even if he didn't disapprove of that, the entire goal in all this was to tear Homura away from that controlling mindset. Holden recalled all of the intellectual and emotional gambles he made in his lifetime due to relying on his personal sense of reason to judge the future course of action – there had been good gambles and bad gambles, but in the end he always considered himself lucky to still be alive. But that wasn't enough for this mission though…

"Looks like you have a lot of things on your mind," Zusa said as she called out to Holden upon a rooftop and jumped down. Luckily it was a rather empty part of the city, but Zusa could just wipe memories anyways. "I did think you were goofing off too much, but maybe you have the toughness needed to fix this situation after all. Let me check just in case, as you've been out of action for a few weeks…" Zusa walked up to Holden and shot a red flame towards his face, which dispersed and scattered upon impact. Holden walked past Zusa so that the two were back to back.

"You already said what you wanted to say to me when you told me you wanted me to be the one to fix this situation," Holden said as he brushed his face awkwardly. "In the end, we're really both people that don't look too hard for the best solution to things and just dive in, aren't we?"

"I guess that's so," Zusa said. "But even if it's not for the best, I think after all these years of living you should finally go out and seek your first real romance, right? I mean, it's not like you're totally inexperienced with that sort of stuff, but this is your first real opportunity to show the best of your heart, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but sometimes I feel the best and the worst don't reside on opposite ends in the human soul," Holden said. "Sometimes, I feel like they're right next to each other, and that's a rather scary thought… Ah well, in the end, aren't we all scared people that really just want to shiver whenever we're surprised?"

"Maybe," Zusa said. "But like you said, I don't have much to say to you. You're already in that proper mindset to take action and I was really just checking up on you."

"…See you then," Holden said as he walked off and continued preparing his heart for what was to come.


	3. Recognition

Recognition

"Waiting for me again," Homura said as she met Holden outside the school gates. Homura had left the school at a different time from the rest of the other four magical girls. "That'll save me the trouble of finding you. As you might've expected, I've decided to put you through some tests."

"Sure," Holden said as he followed Homura on the way to her apartment complex. "Are the other girls not with you because you didn't want witnesses to the horrible things you're going to do to me?"

"I'm guessing that's a joke," Homura said. "But overall, you might not be able to take it. Madoka would, but I don't want to see her cry… Recently I invited Kyoko to that place and she went dizzy and almost threw up. While I don't really hold any low opinions of you because of how annoying you are, I still want to see who you really are."

"Expect that to take more than a few days then," Holden said. "That's how it always is with humans. There's no sudden or divine salvation as pains pile up before we can release them…"

Homura didn't reply to that as the two entered the apartment complex and took the elevator. Neither wanted to make small talk, for neither of them wanted to talk about personal issues in a casual manner. Perhaps that was a noticeable similarity, but it wasn't enough to banish that feeling of isolation and loneliness.

As soon as Homura and Holden got into the apartment room, Homura collapsed the background and began showing all of the personal nightmares in her damaged psyche. After a good minute or so, Holden was still standing still with a steady expression on his face just looking around at the flashing background. "Who are you really, to be able to look at all this for so long?" Homura asked.

"…Curiosity and intrigue can often numb the fear of the unfamiliar," Holden said. "As for who I am, it's not really relevant, at least not at the moment. This entire world is about you, isn't it?"

"Really then…?" Homura asked as she scrutinized the young man's movements and actions. He had seemed to have gotten bored of standing in place and began to walk around on the fantastical, flashing ground. "Hey, Holden, do you think I'm a selfish person?"

"Hmph," Holden said as he turned back to Homura, who still had a stoic expression on her face. "Everyone's selfish in one way or another. I know a good deal about you, but not enough to judge – I don't think I've ever known enough about a human being to fairly judge them, and I wouldn't want to judge someone I love unfairly."

"I guess that kind of makes sense," Homura said. Black oil splurt out from behind her and rose into the dark blue background and fell across the sky as rain and thunder. The ground was suddenly littered with firearms and weapons, and clocks appeared in midair. "You'll listen to me then?" Holden seemed to reply with a silent yes as chains began moving across the background. The background suddenly stopped and faded into static as Homura began her story. "I don't have much to say about the time before I became a magical girl. I hardly value it now. But tell me, in whatever way you were able to see me, what did you see of me? Cool, determined, strong and loving?"

Holden looked at Homura intently. "That was pretty much how you were portrayed to be, but I knew there was more. When I saw how you became the Lucifer of this world, I knew there was even more…"

"Yes, more…" Homura said. "More than I can even say, if that makes sense to you. Deep down inside I didn't really know if I could save Madoka, but what else was I to do? All these emotions began to hit me even as I kept that cool exterior. I had so much time, all the time in the world with my magical powers, but there was only one thing I wanted to do with it and I kept failing miserably. Besides stalking Madoka I would keep thinking of ways I could protect her, and keep fighting Witches to become stronger. Very rarely would I allow myself the luxury of being caught in a nice daydream. The screeches of Witches and the sound of the gunfire became my music, my only consolation. The explosions became art as I began to tear away from the peaceful illusions of school life. I kept repeating time over and over until during some of the loops I could literally see shadows of my previous selves. It was like I would have to painfully redraw hundreds of detailed frames in an animation, and then when the time was up I would have to redraw it over and over, and never really being sure what to draw in the first place. The clocks on the wall… I could hardly see the clocks anymore. The hands began to merge together and spinning backwards. I don't know where I hated other people or was just indifferent to them, but I certainly couldn't connect with them – maybe if they went through something like that I could. Oftentimes it felt like I had lost my sanity and consciousness entirely and just kept blindly pedaling like a machine. I don't really think I was noble – I felt like an empty machine attempting to do an impossible task.

"Madoka saw all of this in the end. She saw all my pain and everything I went through for her." Homura gritted her teeth. "But she expected me to accept being loved equally – what kind of joke was that?! Who did she think I even was?! Of course… of course I wanted something in return!" The static background changed to a series of guns firing an endless clatter of bullets. "Yesterday when she said I was a good person, but thinking about everything she said to me I'm not sure if she could be any more wrong. My love didn't heal and it never healed." The gunfire stopped, and huge droplets of blood began dripping from the walls. "It destroyed order, it destroyed laws, and it distorted everything… Isn't it so, Holden? Isn't that all I am?"

"…I said it before and I'll say it again – humans can and will keep changing," Holden said, feeling the magic in his blood and preparing for the worst. "You shouldn't determine your identity in such a strict and cruel manner – by that I mean the greatest things you've ever done don't necessarily determine who you are. You called yourself an empty person deep down inside, but I think everybody is like that really. The only static and unchanging identity, I believe, is that personality that you're born with – everything else in your mind is incredibly flexible." The background changed to a spiraling double helix representing a person's DNA. "You're a person that did and can do many great things, Homura. But those achievements don't control you and they don't define you…"

"Then what are you saying?" Homura asked as the background faded to a blurry crowd of people moving around in the city. "That I'm just a really introverted female, a silent beauty that has trouble making friends?"

Holden gave Homura a dry smile. "You could say that, I guess. But introverts like you still have a lot of potential to do a lot of good, you know. Compare that with me – I'm born with worse traits and have to wear a bigger mask to get along with most people. I'm distracted, impractical and dreamy, narcissistic and all of that stuff. I blurt all this sort of crap about humanity coming together while at the same time just looking at other people, thinking about the world from my shitty excuse of an intellectual observatory."

"Hmph," Homura said. "Tell me then, do you think that I should care about being a good person then? You did say yourself that it's entirely subjective and I was never good at determining that sort of stuff."

"Do you think most people actively focus on that self-improvement stuff?" Holden asked. "When I look around I don't really think that's so. People go to earn their wages, hang out and goof around with their friends, engage in conflicts with their enemies, maintain their bodily needs, fulfill some other hobby or routine and go to bed weary anticipating the next day. Even if you were to really focus on making yourself into that good person, Homura, you shouldn't rush yourself or demand too much of yourself… Learn to enjoy life as a middle school girl at first, that's what I have to say."

Homura looked at Holden curiosity, and a row of Mitakihara school uniforms appeared in the background. "It seems as if you're speaking from experience."

"With you I'm actually trying to take caution here," Holden said. "You already know I can lose my limits when ranting but it gets really long if I'm talking about myself."

"Tell me about yourself then, just the short version," Homura said. "I'm curious."

"I clung onto types of identity in my youth," Holden started. "Like you I was an introvert that had trouble making friends, but maybe more because of my weirdness than my shyness. I hated school and the only thing that kept me going was my dream of becoming a great novelist or making an anime or whatever. In the end even though both the school and my peers noted that I had talent, I wasn't born with nearly enough of it unlike that violin boy, and I did end up losing a good amount of time to computer games, internet porn, or wondering about random things while staring at the ceiling. Before I noticed it, I was going to college, even though at times I really thought there was a good chance people would toss me into the mental asylum. In the end, I realized how much fun I had while making thousands of mistakes in my own stupid way and wanted to do it all over again. I hated myself less once I noticed that even if it was gradually, I had improved as a person and got better at doing what I liked to do. With those thoughts in mind, I started to set out on adventures after college, and began to think that I would become the best person I could possibly be, for you."

"…If this is your improved self, your young self must've really been despicable," Homura said. "Although in your opinion I still don't have enough information to judge you. But maybe you are right about some things, though you do seem to have too much faith in the human capacity to heal wounds." The backgrounds faded away into Homura's apartment again.

"Maybe it's not so much to heal," Holden admitted. "Maybe it's just that dumb male pride speaking up whenever a weird or painful memory comes to mind – 'Want to hear a cool story that happened to me?' Although I guess that sort of mindset has a limit when it comes to experiences like war."

"It really takes a lot of self-deception to make something horrible into something to be proud of," Homura wondered. "But you would just say that's a matter of perception again, wouldn't you?"

"…I'm sorry if I offended," Holden said with a tender smile. "You did ask me to tell you about myself, after all. But you shouldn't deny who you really are."

"Someone… Someone scarred that needs to enjoy her life, is that it?" Homura asked. "And even with what I went through, that enjoyment doesn't have to be anything grand or redeeming?"

"…I was stuck in that state for a while," Holden said. "I was pissed about the world I was born into and thought that there needed to be better justice served – I mean, at times I couldn't care that much about securing that normal societal happiness people suggested to me because there were people that suffered and deserved that more. I really didn't know what it meant to care until I found you…"

Homura took a deep breath and exhaled, rewinding her memories to the time she and Madoka fought together as magical girls. "Maybe… Maybe that's so. Grant me that my situation is a lot more complicated with all of the magic and this proposed Law of Chaos though."

"But the human bonds are the same, aren't they?" Holden asked. "That act of trusting and loving another human being to make that suffering worth it all… Even somebody as socially retarded as me knows the importance of that."

"…Well, thank you," Homura said. "You'll be tossed into this test a few more times though."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Holden said as he bowed and left the apartment.

The next day, Homura brought Holden over to her apartment again. Even though she didn't want to admit it, the young man did bring up a lot of content in their previous conversation, and Homura didn't want to feel overwhelmed for the rest of the day. Even though she was near omnipotent with her magic, she still didn't seem to figure a way to properly augment her intellectual capacities – not that she really cared about that stuff anyways.

"You said that you loved me, and now that you've brought up quite a few things I'm starting to wonder what that really means," Homura said. The two were talking in Homura's illusory labyrinth again, this time featuring a background full of construction workers laboring hard to build a skyscraper. "Dying and going through pain for me should be a given, don't you agree?"

Holden looked a bit ashamed as he scratched his nose. "That's probably so."

Homura narrowed her eyes. "What about killing and torturing others for me?"

"Well that becomes a rather complicated situation even if I wasn't to care about the people I'd be hurting for you," Holden admitted. "That situation wouldn't come to be unless someone forced it, and if someone is indeed manipulating us, I may not be able to protect you even if I obeyed this cruel authority's commands, for they might just be messing with us. If you were the one issuing the orders… Well, I love you no matter what but that isn't the Homura I'd like to see."

"I thought people in love were desperate and didn't have time to think all this through," Homura said, a bit annoyed.

"Perhaps," Holden said. "You've probably noticed it already, but I tend to think… Quite a bit about things."

"Okay, how about I just suggest that somehow my well-being would be guaranteed if you followed the orders," Homura said. The background shifted to a group of scales tilting back and forth carrying two different weights.

"It's not like I'm totally repulsed by the idea of murdering another – it's been a man's dirty work for much of our evolutionary species – but I just have to say I dislike the notion that hurting others can validate your existential worth. Even after all you've been through I don't think you'd ever become that sort of person, and I don't think that you'd want me to say that I would carry out evil for you… Huh. I said that people usually don't know what's right or wrong when things come down to slight specifics, but I think that we both have limits on the wrong things we're willing to do for love." The background shifted to a battlefield with men fighting in trenches, much like the nightmarish scenery in World War I.

"True enough," Homura admitted. "I know you think a lot, so is it really that you don't have anything to say about the subject of morality other than that it's relative or subjective?"

"That's the short version," Holden said. "I don't really think what we've said today has been that productive so far – I think we need to establish the human connections before you can actually try to care about being a good girl and whatnot." The background changed to a bunch of businessmen in suits shaking hands and talking about some important matters. "When I think of the basis of morality, I think of how people wanted to survive and help each other in societies, and at base that is a utilitarian system that favors the well-being of the whole group even if that goes against personal nature. As in a good, moral society bases itself on trust between other members given reasonably attainable proper appearances and credentials, so that even in a time of crisis, we'll prioritize doing things that are important to keep the system relatively steady (even if it gradually changes) and not betray it to favor our family and friends."

"That's a really tough line of thought to follow," Homura said as the background became filled with photos of faceless families. "It might be just me, but I don't think most people would betray their personal values for the good of the whole… Isn't that why crime becomes rampant, because people don't trust each other?" Holden stayed silent and waited for Homura to say something else. "And I guess that might be why I'm in the situation I'm in as well - I really didn't feel like I could trust anyone. I had pinned all my hopes on Madoka, but in the end it suddenly felt like I couldn't trust her because at any moment she would do the right thing which was to betray me and what I wanted for the good of the many."

"Even if your actions were wrong or evil I don't blame you for it," Holden said. The background shifted to a crowd of different Earths slowly rotating. "I mean, in my early teenage years I'm sure I would've reformed the world at least once if I had the magical powers to, and even now I may be worse at trusting others than you… We share that troublesome quality – for people like us it takes a long time to trust somebody – for people like us it's hard to fake that trust and use those social skills to move forwards in life. In addition with the fact that people didn't think much about whether what they were doing was right, I was often mad that people didn't seem to put that much effort into their relationships with each other – I mean, to connect with another human being as a big task, isn't it?"

"…An eternal task," Homura said. "I think you understand. How am I able to trust in the good of people when it feels so often that I can't even trust in one person? I mean, there doesn't even have to be science, it's quite obvious that there aren't really any strong connections between people, it's just a figure of speech – it's all in our own heads, isn't it?"

"That's perfectly so," Kyubey started, but Homura snapped out a pistol and shot the white being clean through the head, followed up with many other rounds before coming to Holden's side.

"It's trying to manipulate me again," Homura said. "I suppose relativity factors in here and so I trust you more than Kyubey."

"That's not necessarily so," Kyubey started, and Homura was about to shoot again, but Holden grasped her hand. "Despite the things we know, humans still have the potential to do more damage to other humans than we are capable of." Holden let go of Homura's arm as soon as the white creature finished that statement, and Homura took the signal to begin firing again.

"The magic of this world… This entire world is tied to my mind," Homura said as her eyes began to glow that dangerous magenta. "If anyone betrays me I'll make sure they won't ever do it again…"

"Homura…!" Holden called out with a worried look on his face, and Homura's eyes began to shift back to her cool violet.

"There's also…" Homura said as she dropped her pistol and looked at Holden with a vulnerable expression. "There's also another factor when it comes to trust, right? Love… It makes all those illusions and connections become real for a while, but you seemed to have noticed I haven't received enough of it. In the end it seemed only my love was worth anything, and I pushed my magic to its limits and took control of this world…" Holden narrowed his eyes and thought intently.

"Next time bring Madoka here," the young man said as he turned with his back to Homura. "I'm glad… I'm glad you admitted that you're vulnerable and you need to trust someone, but I can't be the one for that, at least not for the moment. Even if Madoka never gave you the love you wanted, you still need to accept her feelings instead of trying to change them or ignoring them before you reach that happiness you desire."

Homura nodded. "I'm still kind of worried though… If everything doesn't work out I may end up getting mad again and do something horrible to you."

"I'll be ready for that when the time comes," Holden said. "Just don't do anything to Madoka or Kyoko… If you really hurt those two friends of yours you'll have lost too much."

* * *

"Are you manipulating her, or aren't you?" Kyubey asked Holden as the young man made his way to an isolated area in the city park to practice his Baji. "You really love playing mind games on just about everyone, including yourself – curiosity is really such a fascinating thing."

"Gathering information to prepare for the possibility of Homura's and Zusa's powers leaving this world, aren't you?" Holden asked. "Don't bother too much about the human mind. Most of that is just subjective crap that you won't really be interested in."

"Even then our species occasionally notices those grains of truth in those thousands of random thoughts you people have," Kyubey said. "Any information you have to share is possibly useful." Holden waited for a bit, walking along before replying.

"Humans like to be sure of themselves in at least some area," Holden started. "For me I guess that just ended up being my love for Homura – I love her and want to see her living a happy life, the imagined image which may have been generated by socio-psychological constructs. I don't suppose you'll dig too deep into the roots of what caused me to be who I am though, will you?" There was another silence as Kyubey seemed to stop trailing behind Kyubey. "Is it that, then? Do you take the advantage of us being too much in love with some things, too sure of some things that we stumble along unsure of many other things in our lives, things you could manipulate us with…?"

"We still don't exactly understand what you mean by 'manipulate'," Kyubey said with its empty alien smile. "But judging by the way many magical girls have used that term, you currently are manipulating Homura Akemi, aren't you? We could certainly learn from you… What you said was quite correct. You love Homura Akemi so much that you don't care if you 'manipulate' her or yourself, you only care that you're in love with her, despite being self-aware of all your logical fallacies."

Holden took a deep breath and sunk into his horse stance. "Could you please leave me now?" Kyubey agreed and leapt away, a tad happy with its new sliver of information.

That day, Holden cut off his practice early and returned to the apartment he was staying in with a heavy heart. It was getting harder and harder to do the right or logical thing now, the young man realized as he hugged his pillow and thought of Homura intently. He recalled how much time he had spent in this position, his heart consumed with love and feeling hopeless, and wondered if Homura felt the same – no matter how much magic and power you had it never achieved that joy of being with your true beloved.

The next day, Homura brought Madoka over to her apartment along with Holden, and the three were immersed in Homura's psychological labyrinth again. This time Homura had created two chairs for her and Madoka to sit in, and deep classical music began to play in the background, which consisted of dancing and distorted dolls, as the two young girls simply leaned against each other. Madoka was glad that Homura was opening up, but still concerned with all of the things that were going on in her dear friend's mind.

"Homura-chan…" Madoka said softly. "No matter what, I'll always love you, and always keep fighting for you… I want to stay with you forever, even if it's in a different way than you want to… Just please remember that. I'll sit through all of these things you want me to watch for as long as you want." Trickles of tears began to run down Homura's face as she stayed silent. If she spoke up she wasn't sure she could control herself – perhaps it would only make things worse. "We're still friends," Madoka continued. "We always were and nothing can change that – Even if you don't feel the connections, I can see them…"

"Thank you," Homura said. "Thank you, Madoka, but… But…" Homura began to choke on her frustration and tears and Madoka continued her gentle embrace. Madoka, love me more, Homura thought. Make me the only girl you'll ever love, run away with me, make me all yours… Homura's heart began to tear up yet again.

"Ah, love!" Holden declared loudly. "In a world full of blinding illusions, it may be one of the few beautiful things you'll ever see. No matter how fragile or how temporary or how dangerous and wicked, love exists there in the present – Infatuation, devotion, fondness, all that physical and mental phenomena. Is it all there is to life? But one could spend an entire lifetime just being in love."

That was a bit annoying, Homura thought. But yes, yes, that was perfectly so, that was the way Homura wanted to spend her life. She wasn't good at anything else and was practically nothing with loving and being loved. It would be soon enough, her love would keep evolving and changing even if Madoka's stayed pure and static, and she couldn't wait to feel everything there was to feel in such a terribly beautiful emotion.

These sessions of Homura bringing in Madoka to her psychological world would last around a week or so, and Holden would come out of courtesy or habit. Madoka would usually just sit together with Homura, silently sharing her best friend's pain as Holden stood straight observing all of the phenomena around him. He felt there was so much more that was needed to be said between him and Homura, but he had become self-disciplined enough to wait for a better time for such conversations, reminding himself that in one way or another Homura was appreciating that discipline.

"Homura-chan," Madoka said one day to Homura during lunch break at school. "Sayaka-chan was thinking we should all get together and go out for karaoke sometime… Um, I think you have a beautiful voice and you've always taken life too seriously, so…"

"I'll go," Homura said, feeling that she had made Madoka sit with her in that cruel world for long enough. "When you say 'we' is there anyone else going to come?"

"Um…" Madoka started. "I'm not really sure about that, but Mami-san and Kyoko-chan will be there. It will be five of us in total at least."

"All right," Homura said with a gentle smile. She hadn't seen Holden burst in with any wild antics for a good week or so and also mentally prepared for the possibility of him pulling off something crazy.

Homura didn't know many songs, and her psychological labyrinths seemed to generate music at random, so she supposed she thought about how she would read off the screen as she made her way to the karaoke place with Madoka. The other three girls had left the school at different times for whatever reason.

"So you're here after all," Homura said as she found Holden leaning against the wall of the karaoke room.

"I thought he should at least be invited as he did improve the relationship between you two," Kyoko said as Sayaka looked through all of the available songs on the screen.

"Hmph," Holden said. "I suck at singing, but I couldn't miss out on a chance to hang out with lolis, after all."

"Ah, what the hell?" Sayaka said as she hit the random button on the screen. "I don't see anything good so let's just sing this song together, Kyoko…"

The duo was a bit out of tone even though they synced and swapped off roles perfectly. Mami looked to be enjoying the singing, but Homura was still trying to figure out what was so great about all of this and Madoka was quite concerned. Soon she would have to sing something while just reading off lyrics on the screen, and she really didn't feel any passion here.

"You know, when I was in college, I would sometimes sing anime songs for the person I was calling over Skype," Holden said. "Preferably in a high-pitched voice for whatever reason too. After singing I'd feel a bit better I guess. I don't know, if you find it difficult, Homura, just pretend no one's there."

Homura and Madoka were next. "Oh, you're choosing one of ClariS' songs?" Sayaka asked. "That really fits your personality, Madoka!"

"After I sing two lines, you go for it, Homura-chan, and we'll sing the chorus together, okay?" Madoka asked. Homura nodded, quite unsure of how her voice would sound, and with that the song began to play… "Tsukaeatta kokoro no ondo wo…" Madoka sung. "Sotto daiji sou ni kakae aruiteita…"

"Koto no nai negai no naka de…" Homura sung softly. "Kotoba wa mirai kaete…"

"Don't be shy about it!" Holden cheered. "Sing from the depths of your soul!" Homura looked at Holden with an annoyed glance as Madoka continued the song.

"Osonai koro zutto yume ni…"

When it came time for Homura to sing again, she sung a bit louder this time. "Sukoshi wa tsuyoku nareru…"

"Woo!" Kyoko cheered.

"You have a really nice voice, Akemi-san," Mami said. The lyrics rolled around to the chorus, and Madoka and Homura sung together.

"Yonda kibou tadotte tometa sekai wo koeta… Akiramenai omoi itsushika kokoro tsunageta…"

When the song finished, both Madoka and Homura were quite out of breath, and everybody cheered. Mami was up next, and this cycle repeated itself one more time with Holden just sitting on the bench thinking of whatever random thoughts. A shy, almost unsure smile began to spread across Homura's face as she looked at Madoka tenderly.

"Ehhh…" Holden said as he got up from his seat and rose to his full height. "Egh, egghh, ehhh… Do they have Renai Circulation on here? It should be my turn to sing, right?"

"It's here all right," Sayaka said after clicking a few times with the remote. "Don't tell me you're going to sing this in a high-pitched voice."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Holden said as he held out his hand. Kyoko tossed him the microphone as Sayaka hit the play button, and an odd grin began to spread on the young man's face. "Se, no! Demo sonnan ja dame, mou sonnan ja hora…"

"Kakahha!" Kyoko laughed. "Man that's funny."

"My ears…" Sayaka complained as she covered her ears.

Zusa walked in as the opening tune began to play, the screen showing Sengoku walking backwards in her altered color scheme. "What the heck is going on here?"

Homura blinked. "Who invited you?"

"I just thought I'd want to see what was up…" Zusa thought as she looked at Holden. "The weirdo's pulling more things out of his unlimited supply of weirdness, isn't he?"

It looked like the young man was too focused on altering his voice to reply. "Omotteta osoreteta dakedo are? Nanka chigau kamo…"

"I've seen this show," Mami said. "Doesn't this moe character turn into some sort of yandere snake god at the end?"

"She sure does," Zusa said. "I like her more than most of the other heroines though."

"Doesn't Monogatari have a huge amount of fanservice?" Sayaka asked as she began adjusting to Holden's singing.

Zusa shrugged. "It isn't really huge if you look at most of what anime has become these days…"

"Fuwafuwari, fuwafuwaru…" Holden sung and Sayaka moaned and covered her ears again. "Anata ga namae o yobu sore dake de chuu e ukabu…"

When the song was finally over, Sayaka let out a relieved "phew" and Holden clutched at his vocal cords. "Looks that hurt for both of us," the young man said as he tossed the microphone to Zusa.

"So you're joining in after all," Sayaka said as she picked up the remote. "What song do you want?"

"Kalafina, 'to the beginning'," Zusa said and Sayaka scrolled down to it.

"That's a pretty good song you know… Hope you don't ruin it," Sayaka said as she hit play.

But it turned out that Zusa did anything but ruin the song. She even sang the vocals at the beginning and they came out near perfectly. "Ato ichido dake kiseki wa okoru darou? Yasashii e koede egaku yuganda mirai…"

"Homura-chan, you should join in," Madoka said. "I feel your voice matches this song really well." Homura looked a bit unsure as she came closer to the microphone.

"Akaku kegasareta sora no… doko ni mo," Zusa sang.

"Todokazu kieru sakebi to inori…" Homura and Zusa were singing together now. "Nagisame wa suttee yukeru… Kirei I na tsuki no hikari ga hajimari e to shizumiyuku sono kanata e…"

"Well I didn't expect this," Sayaka said with a warm smile. After the song finished, everyone applauded, and Homura and Zusa both blushed a bit. "It's back to Kyoko and me now," Sayaka said as Zusa handed her the mic. After Sayaka and Kyoko's duet, Madoka sang a song by herself, receiving an adoring glare from Homura and a creepy set of staring eyes from Holden.

After Mami sung with Sayaka on a whim, Holden got the mic in his hands again. "I guess you really don't want me to sing in that pitch again," Holden said. "I really wanted to sing the YuruYuri song but that isn't here, is it? Anyways, go to 'Butter-fly' by Wada Kouji then. I'll sing naturally." Sayaka hit the play button and the opening guitar riff began to play.

"This song sort of brings back memories, doesn't it?" Mami asked.

"The first Digimon anime's opening," Zusa said. "It was pretty legit for a children's show…. All those ultimate forms had nice metal and muscles on them too. The show piloted when I was like a toddler, but when I was twelve I got bored enough to look it up online."

"Yokei na koto nante wasureta hou ga mashi sa…" Holden sung. His voice was off-key occasionally but didn't sound horrible at all.

"I feel like this is the type of song we should all sing together," Kyoko said, and there was a bit of silent agreement amongst the crowd.

"Nani ga wow wow wow wow wow… kono sora ni todoku no darou?" Holden sung, and Zusa joined in.

Madoka joined in. "Dakedo wow wow wow wow wow… ashita no yotei mo wakaranai…"

"Mugendai na yume no ato no," everyone began to sing now. "Nanimo nai yo no kete… Sou sa itoshii omoi mo makesou ni naru kedo!

"Stay shigachi na imeegi darake no… tayorinai tsubasa demo…"

After the song was finished, pretty much everybody was out of breath. "Alright, now Zusa will sing 'Cagayake!GIRLS'!" Holden declared, which caused the twintailed girl to slap her forehead.

"Is that the one from K-On?" Kyoko asked. "Don't worry Zu-chan, we'll sing along with you then…"

"Don't call me that…" Zusa started as Sayaka scrolled down to the song and hit play, the intense guitar riffs now playing.

"Zu-chan, Zu-san, Zu-sama, Zu-rin," Holden said. "Zu-sempai…" Zusa wanted to throw the mic at the man but the song began playing.

"Chatting Now GACHI de KASHIMASHI Never Ending Girl's Talk…"

"…Huh," Homura said as she looked at the clock on the wall. Quite a bit of time had passed. "I almost feel like a normal girl now." Even if one accounted for the magic, this was a perfectly reasonable and innocent scenario for young Japanese girls to be in, barring Holden…

"Fuutsu," Holden said. "Tsumanai… Mina no ikko! Let's Go!"

"Or maybe I just feel normal because of that guy," Homura muttered. The bench she was sitting on and the bench Holden was sitting on were facing each other at perpendicular angles.

"I guess I'll be staying here until your safe or normal mode fully activates then," Holden said with a sly smile. "Of course, maybe a more traditional way would be to find someone that's equally weird and just do things together till you turn normal, but I doubt I'm ever turning normal…"

When the karaoke finally came to an end, everyone seemed pretty much satisfied and began going their different ways as the sun began to set. "Let's do this again sometime, Homura-chan," Madoka said with her warm smile as she walked off. Homura and Holden were actually standing outside the karaoke place silently.

"…I'll get bored of this soon enough, won't I?" Homura asked.

"Use the internet if you want entertainment," Holden said. "And by use I mean abuse… Are you going to be taking Madoka to that nightmare world of yours again? Because the effectiveness of that is going to wear out soon as well…" Another silence. "Mind if I recommend you two an anime? You two should watch Fate/Zero together. It's pretty good in itself and you might learn something."

"…I'll check it out," Homura said as she walked off and left Holden on the streets alone.

"Well, then…" Holden said to himself as he looked up at the red sky. "I'm pretty much out of ideas now barring forcing more troublesome conversations upon her. The rest is for Homura and Madoka to work out, I guess…" He waited a short while for somebody else to show up and start a conversation, but no one came, and so the young man simply went on his way.

* * *

It was Friday night, and Homura met with the other magical girls and Holden for dinner. She had finished watching Fate/Zero with Madoka and for other reasons had things to say to the strange man. "We finished the show together," Homura said as she took the seat between Holden and Madoka. "Madoka cried ten times in total because of it I think… I suppose you'd want me to discuss it with you?"

"Emph," Holden smiled slightly. "If you want all my thoughts on it that would take a while… But I guess I'll state some main points – in the whole Fate universe magic isn't as convenient as it is here. Determined love doesn't pull through if it isn't fated to (in the case of Kariya) and emptiness isn't rewarded with a fulfilling salvation, as with Kirei. The only way to move forwards in that world is through Kiritsugu's methods of logical manipulation and treachery, but in the end those means cannot evolve humanity into the honest and moral form that Kiritsugu desires."

"…What am I supposed to say to that?" Homura asked. "In your ideal world you wouldn't be a sculptor of fate then…? Why are you here? Do you follow Rider and Archer's philosophies?"

"I'm my own person and that's assured," Holden said. "But in any case I'm the idiot that would rather be in love than conquer the world, and an idiot that isn't proud enough to feel entitled to anything either. I've realized the flaws in utilitarianism long ago, and sadism isn't really enough for me to fill that void… I do like Kirei as a character though. He has a nice deep voice and blocked a bullet with the freaking side of his hand, I mean damn…"

"Do you think we all lucked out then?" Homura asked. "Do you think that things would turn out with everyone dying for a wish that wasn't worth it if we were unable to become deities?"

"Hehe," Holden chuckled with a smile as he drank some of his water. "Let me tell you, every time you escape death through luck, it feels like your wish dies a bit on the inside…" Holden looked over to Madoka, who was busy talking about a few things with Sayaka and Kyoko. "Did Madoka cry when Rider died?"

"That's a pretty stupid question," Homura said, rather annoyed. "Of course she did."

"Were you jealous then?" Holden asked. "Were you jealous that as time grew, Madoka became more and more indecisive on which girl to favor in a conflict and yet ended up saving everyone when she transformed into a goddess?" Homura remembered the timeline where Mami Tomoe had decided to mercy kill everyone upon realizing the truth, and Madoka decisively favored Homura by killing Mami with one of her arrows… "Well then, I'll just become a deity too…"

"Are you just playing with me?" Homura gave the young man quite a stern expression. "Maybe I see the good in your eyes – maybe you really do want to make me happy with your love, but the evil in you, it's not the usual evil of wanting to control one's beloved, the evil that I'm stuck in… You're utterly fascinated with this entire situation, especially since I'm at the center. Sometimes you're immersed in that love of yours, but other times it's just pure entertainment for you, isn't it?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Holden said as he took another sip of his water. "As Gilgamesh said, entertainment makes me forget I don't have a reason to live."

Homura didn't reply to that. Soon the dishes came, and although she was still wondering about who Holden really was, Homura enjoyed the food enough for Madoka to stop worrying about her. When her food was about halfway done though, Homura felt like her curiosity was beginning to rival Holden's. Who are you…? Homura thought. Who are you really…?

Homura stopped time successfully and slowly formed a silver pistol in her hands. The man didn't flinch when she had pointed the weapon at his head before, Homura thought as she felt the cold trigger press against her fingers. "If I'm wrong, may the heavens help us all," Homura whispered as she fired a bullet and resumed the stream of time.


	4. Liberation

Liberation

Holden's head jolted back quite a bit as the bullet entered his skull. The sudden movement caught the table's attention, but Holden shook his head voluntarily and rubbed where the bullet had entered. "Didn't get hit by one of those in a long while…" Holden muttered as the bullet popped out of his head. The blood that was splattered on his head was even being sucked back through the skin as the man regenerated.

"So you're prepared to fight after all!" Homura exclaimed as she jumped back and summoned two rapid-fire guns in each hand. The background dissolved into one of her nightmares, and the four other magical girls were kept behind an invisible barrier. The other people in the restaurant had faded away somewhere.

"…It's really come to this, hasn't it?" Zusa asked as she entered the scene through a flaming portal. She tapped the invisible barrier and looked at Homura, who had transformed into her demonic outfit and sprouted her patterned wings. "I don't think any of you will want to break this barrier…."

"Homura-chan!" Madoka yelled, but Homura ignored the cry as she kept the guns pointed at Holden.

"Show us who you really are," Homura said, and Holden sprouted two red dragon wings from his back.

"One-third human, one-third dragon, one-third vampire," Holden explained.

"…Tskk!" Homura muttered as she attempted to stop time again, but Holden broke the spell by merely sinking down and swinging his fist.

"Do we really have to fight?" Holden asked as he turned to Zusa and the other four girls. "If we do, I'm just glad Zusa taught me how to do that…"

"…Will that guy really be able to hold up against a demon-god?" Kyoko asked as she pounded on the invisible barrier.

"The match can go either way," Zusa said. "One of the main reasons we picked him was his ability to survive, after all…"

"I don't think I can learn anything I need to just from listening to you," Homura said as she felt the cold triggers pressing against her fingers. "I might or might not kill you if I win this…" With that, Homura began firing her guns. Holden leapt forwards, wings guarding his body effectively, and Homura responded by darting away with her own wings and summoning rows and rows of guns perched against the invisible barrier. Gunfire filled the air, but Holden was still able to keep chase as he seemed to have some sort of invisible force field along with his red dragon wings.

Homura tried to stop time again, but Holden twisted his body once more and broke the spell. He was inching closer to Homura as they flew around the closed arena, his crimson wings larger and stronger than Homura's patterned black and white ones. He can subconsciously defend against my patterns, Homura noticed, and randomized the directions her guns were facing, along with stopping time in random areas of Holden's flight path. The gunfire resumed, and blood began to spray out of Holden's now-vulnerable wings.

Crap, she figured it out, Holden thought to himself as the distance between him and his target began to grow. He really didn't have that many tricks up his sleeves, but he probably had to use one of them now. Holden took a deep breath and held the pain of his wings being chiseled down by gunfire.

"ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRR!" Holden opened his mouth, and a dragon's roar filled the air, temporarily slowing down Homura. Holden took a quick breath and reached into his stomach before exhaling and throwing out three long knives.

"Enngh!" Homura grunted as the knives cut gashes in her right arm while flying past her. This would definitely be a match where she would have to expect the unexpected. Homura flew upwards and increased the gunfire. Holden reacted to her upgrades by swiveling back and forth randomly between bullets as he approached Homura.

"Hen!" Holden exhaled as he drew out an oversized drawing compass from his stomach and split the blades to fire a reddish-black ball of energy at his target. Homura's dodge put her closer to the path of her assailant. Now the dragon used his Compass similar to a simple sword and slashed at Homura, missing the first two and having the third blocked by one of Homura's guns. Holden inhaled as he let go of his weapon and prepared for a devastating strike.

"Hah!" The young man yelled as he drew out a black-bladed poleaxe from his stomach and made a horizontal swipe. Homura didn't try to block this one and struggled to dodge the first two swings as the third skimmed across her body and wounded her waist. The demon gritted her teeth and increased the gunfire, the malice showing in her glowing magenta eyes as she distorted time and kicked Holden's arms. The axe fell from midair as Homura began retreating to a safe distance. By now, Holden's wings were cut down to the skeleton as they desperately attempted to regenerate, and the dragon began to slowly sink to the ground.

It looks like he got a good hit on me though, Homura thought as she began sinking as well, her body feeling uneven after the close-range encounter. But as long as she kept up her gunfire either Holden's arms or legs would disintegrate well before he would get into striking distance.

When the fighters landed on the ground, Holden began to chase, arms shielding his face and Homura began to run. The dragon was faster with his longer limbs, but his arms began to slowly chip away from the fists downwards as the chase went on. "This fighting style…" Sayaka commentated as she looked at the fight intently.

"He's used to it by now," Zusa explained. "The first several times he lost limbs I'm sure he collapsed and cried like a baby. In any case, don't ever think this is a fighting style for you, okay?"

When Holden got within strike distance of Homura he was down to his shoulders as he started going for a side kick. Easy to block, Homura thought, but suddenly a shoulder slammed down into her, and the demon stumbled backwards. Holden advanced, and another shoulder went down into Homura's chest, and the dragon slammed his chest into Lucifer's forehead. Homura was in shock and temporarily unable to utilize any combat options.

"Baji is simple, but it uses all parts of the body," Zusa explained. "But this won't be enough…"

"ERrnngh!" Holden groaned as a good third of his head suddenly collapsed upon itself. Blood sprayed over Homura's forehead and stunned her for another few milliseconds as the dragon used the flesh from his head to regenerate the bones and muscles of his arms.

"What the hell…?" Homura muttered, sweating in psychological shock as Holden grabbed one of her arms and sunk down with the elbow of free arm. "Aauhhgh!" Homura gasped as her arm popped out of her socket and felt her body began to collapse. She was too immobilized to use it safely, but she had only one option. Homura twisted her body as she began falling down to the ground, and a flash grenade flipped up into midair between the two fighters.

"This is bad…!" Zusa exclaimed as Holden caught the grenade with his chest before it exploded and leaned down over against Homura. A white flash suddenly consumed the entire scene, and for what seemed to be like hours there was nothing in vision.

* * *

When the blinding whiteness finally cleared, Kyoko, Sayaka, and Zusa found themselves in the middle of a suburban street. "Are we stuck in one of Homura's nightmare labyrinths again?" Kyoko asked as she looked around at where they were.

"Holden was grabbing on to her, so I think this labyrinth is shared," Zusa said as she noticed a boy around fourteen walking down the street slowly. The three girls had been teleported outside a public library, and the skies appeared to be a normal spring blue. "Yes…" Zusa said upon seeing the boy's face. "It's definitely shared."

"No way…!" Sayaka exclaimed as she began stalking the boy silently. Kyoko and Zusa followed. "That's the weirdo? His face looks so full of bitter angst too… Wait, he had fangs at this age! Wow, he sort of looks like you, Kyoko…"

"Not funny," Kyoko said, but she did have to admit that she shared the young Holden's slanted eyes and small fangs. "Do you think we should talk to him?"

"Holden!" Sayaka called. She was rather annoyed by this whole situation and wanted to escape from it as soon as possible.

"That isn't his real name, and he won't respond to that at this age," Zusa said as she walked ahead of the group. "Candor Shade!" Zusa yelled, and the boy turned with a surprised but annoyed expression on his face.

"I don't know how you got that name," the boy said softly. His voice was deep even at that young age, but he was only a little taller than Kyoko.

"What would happen to be your real name?" Sayaka asked as she came up to the young Holden.

"…Hmm," the boy said as he looked at Sayaka up and down. "I don't see dresses around here often…" Young Holden shook his head and got back on topic. "My name is Andy… Although you can just call me 'you'…" What a common name for such a weirdo, Sayaka thought.

Kyoko wasn't sure what to say, but felt that it was better to say something than nothing. "Um… So, Andy. Why do you look so down?"

"…" Andy looked down at the ground silently. More silence before he spoke up. "People ask me that quite a bit, but no one really wants to listen." Geez, Kyoko thought as she looked at the boy with interest. Holden was such a weirdo, but to think his past self really was just a gloomy brat. "Do you want to listen?" Andy thought was ridiculous to think such a cute girl would actually care about him.

"…Sure," Kyoko said. "Although I can't guarantee I'll cheer you up."

Andy nodded. "Listening is enough… Doesn't it just seem really stupid at times? People have these arguments everywhere, at school, in bars, on the internet…" The younger version of Holden spoke with the same clarity and slow pace as he went into such deep topics. "But in the end all they really want to do is win, to make sure that they're right – feeling righteous is more important to them than knowing that they're right. You know how much it costs to live in these suburbs and how much funding my high school gets? You know what this privileged class gets? We're not the top one percent, but compared to the rest of this country it's ridiculous… We teach each other sophism, we teach each other how to win debates and argue. Critical thinking skills and ability to reason my ass. Education is just indoctrinating young people in the art of spewing bullshit and getting big bucks…" Kyoko appeared to sympathize a bit even though Andy really was a brat.

"Think too much and don't do anything," Sayaka commented. "Say too much and don't do anything… Well, I can't say you're a bad person for thinking this way. I was a bit similar except I'd get angry at powerful people for not doing enough while I wasn't sure what I was doing…"

"Man, I really was a whiny brat, wasn't I?!" Holden's energetic voice boomed as the grown man walked into the scene. All of his wounds from the fight with Homura had healed by now, and he had a rather frustrated look on his face. "I mean, I'm a brat now, but this punk!" Holden shoved Andy on the shoulder, and the younger version stumbled backwards. "I guess I did always want to talk shit to my younger self, even though his existence was necessary to become who I was today."

"You…!" Andy exclaimed as he looked up as his grown self. "You're really an older version of me?"

"Damn straight," Holden said. His eyes softened a bit among seeing his younger self's eyes, but he still appeared to be really frustrated. "What is it, little boy? Do you want to be a hero, a martyr? Or perhaps some philosopher king that would rule people with the holy truth that you discovered in your troubled quest of reading and thinking? Or some great artist that shocks the world with the stuff he's able to draw and write and animate, sacrificing his own happiness to create beautiful yet tragic worlds while hunched over and breaking his back at his drawing desk?"

Andy gritted his teeth. "Shut up… Don't tell me that I went through all this pain just to grow up into some sort of normal, boring adult…!"

"Rest assured, that won't ever happen to you no matter which timeline you're in," Holden said with a devious grin. "You're a natural outcast, my boy. You were born to be a weirdo to be abandoned – oh sure you'd impress some people with your intellect, but in the end, you're trash that needs to find his own path. An adventurer that does crazy things is the best you'll ever be – you'll never prove your worth to society no matter how much pain you'll go through."

"Holden…" Kyoko started as she looked at Andy's frustrated face.

"…I don't care if I lose over and over, it's the resolve that counts," Andy spat back. "As long as the loser is still alive he has a chance of winning someday. How about you, huh? Have you given up your dream of becoming a hero? You look tough. Maybe you were a bounty hunter… But you caved in at the end, which is something I'll never do. I'll choose my dreams and love over fear any day…!"

"Such familiar words," Holden remarked as he fixed his eyebrows intently. "Well then, if you can beat me in a fight, I'll reconsider being a hero…. Unfair because of the size difference? Then I won't use my arms." Holden locked his arms behind his back. "I'll be using shoulders though – does that sound fair?"

"You're really a jerk, you know that?" Zusa asked. "I'd never treat my younger self like this, even if she was as bratty as yours…"

"I'm up for it!" Andy exclaimed as he got into a rudimentary fighting stance. Holden just chuckled at how bad he was. The boy threw a silent punch with the intent to hurt, and Holden simply twisted his body and deflected the punch with his chest. The boy recoiled and threw a kick which Holden blocked with his upper ankle. The man responded with a low kick that slammed into his younger self's stomach, and Andy awkwardly resisted the pain as he threw another punch.

Holden dodged the strike this time and slammed his right shoulder into Andy's head, then his left, and then down with his lower chest. Andy collapsed onto the ground pathetically, and as he attempted to get up Holden stomped on his stomach a few times before Kyoko and Sayaka pulled Holden away. "Don't worry," Holden said as he released his arms. Andy stumbled up to his feet with a hateful look in his eye. "You'll earn all of this power through painful training, and more. I didn't cheat on this one."

"What did you do then?" Andy asked. "Beat up your younger self? You're just like dad!"

Holden's eyes narrowed upon hearing that. "That was only once you know, and he didn't even do any solid damage without martial arts. In any case he stopped after protective services issued that warning."

"Still, didn't you just do what he would do if he could get away with it?" Andy asked.

"For a different reason though," Holden said. "Father really did care about your well-being and really was trying to teach you a lesson. I'm just beating you up because I like it." With that the young man turned his back to leave the scene, but had more things to say. "One more thing. As you age you'll still be attracted to the girls around you now – the shorter ones that is. You'll even do it with a few of them, although you won't stoop as low to rape. But it'll be fine and dandy after you get over the guilt – being a pedophile and all." With that, Holden walked off as if he really had someplace to be.

"I can't believe it…" Andy said as he stomped the ground beneath him. The boy was almost crying. "I'm glad I didn't turn out normal and boring, but that guy…"

"He's got a more controlled temper than you do though," Zusa said. "You'll mature over time, and that's a good thing."

"Cool it with the righteousness too," Kyoko said as he put a hand on Andy's shoulder. "Make friends and live a happier life…"

"What would you know about that?!" Andy snapped as turned to Kyoko with angry eyes. "I'm sure you haven't gone as deep into pathetic despair as me, I'm sure you're just normal…"

"Shut it, shit-face," Kyoko said as her mood made a U-turn and she lifted up the boy by the collar with impressive strength. The two slanted eyes met as Andy kept his gaze, both showing different pains. "I was starving, bones exposed and stomach bloating once, you know. Later on because of what I did, my father killed the rest of my family, including himself… You know what I felt then?! I…"

"Kyoko," Sayaka put a hand on the redhead's shoulder, and with that Kyoko let go of Andy's collar. With a series of frustrated coughs Andy got back to his feet, still with an angry look in his eye.

"You're probably telling the truth," Andy said as he turned to leave in the same direction as his older self did. "But I'm still jealous of you… Call me whatever you want but I think your purity is something you were born with, and my corruption fated to be as well…"

"…I'm sorry I did that to you," Kyoko said. "But don't think lowly of yourself, that's all – I just get in that mood when people get self-righteous about their pain… Your older self – I don't know much about him, I don't think anybody does. But I don't think you'll grow up to be a terrible person, even if you have to be a weirdo."

Andy shook his head. "No, keep insulting me, keep thinking low of me. I'm probably a spoiled brat… I am a spoiled brat." The boy began storming off, but suddenly bumped into a schoolgirl looking down at the cement. "Whoa…!" Andy began to stumble and turned to the person he had collided into with an angry expression, but his eyes immediately softened open seeing a pair of gentle purple eyes gazing at him through a set of red-rimmed glasses.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't see you…" a young Homura stammered as her twin braids swayed while turning to Andy. Kyoko and Sayaka looked at each other, and Zusa shrugged. This was about to get a lot weirder.

* * *

"Errgh…" Akuma Homura groaned as she twisted in bed in her apartment. Her wounds from the battle with Holden weren't healing for some reason, and Mami and Madoka were now surrounding her and trying to comfort her.

"Shouldn't we get Homura-chan to the hospital?" Madoka asked as she looked at her friend with a concerned expression. "She isn't losing blood, but her injuries really look bad…"

"No need," a deep voice said as the apartment window shattered with a strong punch. Holden jumped through the hole he had created, sucking his wings and looking down at the broken glass on the floor. "I'll clean that up, don't worry…"

"…G-get out of here," Homura said as she gazed at Holden with a frightened expression. Her face had gone completely pale, even paler than her usual white. Homura's body was frozen in place, and a cold sweat trickled down her neck.

"That attitude is pretty understandable even if you don't think I'm here to hurt you," Holden said as he grabbed his right arm with his left hand. "After all, I imploded my head right in front of her eyes… That would probably rank among her most traumatic memories, I'm sure."

"W-What are you doing with that arm?" Homura asked, extremely comfortable as Holden gave it a slight tug.

"I'll help you regenerate," Holden said as he pulled off the entire arm and held it over Homura's open wounds. Mami and Madoka just stared in shock as the blood trickled down and mixed with Homura's. Homura's wounds closed and her internal bruises faded away in a matter of seconds as Holden reattached his arm and tugged it to test functionality again. "I hope we won't have to fight like that again now, I really do." Holden leaned down and kissed Homura's forehead, looking into the now violet eyes with a tender expression on his face. "Oh, you…" Holden leaned down for an embrace, and gently hugged Homura for a few seconds before Homura shot up a fist into the young man's nose.

Holden returned to his standing position with a broken nose that popped back into place within half a second and turned away with a deep lump in his throat. "We're stuck in Homura's labyrinth again, except this time it's mine as well," Holden explained. "You should really see some of the things that ended up being here. I'll leave now, since it seems that's what you want, Homura-chan… Please make sure to clean up the glass." With that, the young man leapt out the window and took off as he sprouted his dragon wings among diving.

A few silent seconds passed for a bit as Homura wiped off the sweat on her forehead and sat up. The mental shock of the fight still hadn't faded away though for whatever reason – the fact that she had kept let bullets fly loose and the fact that Holden had kept charging at her were both rather disturbing to think about. "I'm going to have to see more of him, aren't I…?"

A column of red flames appeared in midair, and Zusa stepped through it and into the room still dressed in her casual clothes. "Will you come with me…? Ah, it's probably better if you don't. But I have to show you something, Homura." The red flames shifted into a widescreen and showed where Zusa had just been.

"Is that…?" Homura asked.

"A young Holden and a young you," Zusa said. "I doubt this scene is playing just by random chance… I'm sure both of you wanted to see something in your shared world of nightmares."

"Well… I don't really want to look into that man's mind," Homura admitted. "He's crazy enough as it is and from that fight I can see he's capable of completely abandoning his humanity… Can you tell me who he is?" There wasn't any guarantee that Zusa was telling the truth, but Homura wanted as much information as she could at the moment.

"As he said himself, he's older than he looks, being part vampire and all," Zusa said as she spun one of her twintails around for a while. "He gained his powers in his mid-twenties and right now he's around fifty… He was an adventurer for a good while, traveling with partners and making good and bad acquaintances before he ascended to the ruler of his world that would just arbitrarily make decisions. I assure you that he's not very sadistic though, even if his curiosity applies for gruesome things. He knew of your existence since he was 16, but lost his memories after receiving a concussion at 24. Several weeks ago I told Madoka of his existence and we placed our bets on him to remedy the situation. I restored his memories of you and sure enough he agreed to try and fix this mess like the bored idiot he is."

"…What did he do specifically in his life?" Homura asked.

"Before he set out adventuring he did a bunch of artsy creative crap while underachieving at school I believe," Zusa explained. "Even while in love with you he kept his eccentric spirit. I only met him a few times before now so I can't say for sure. In the midst of his adventures he would do the typical odd job and work as a bounty hunter sometimes. He doesn't have much experience remedying these kinds of situations but he's one of our last options… I mean, he really does want what's best for you." Homura stayed silent among hearing that. "Why don't we come to an agreement? In this dream world of yours… If you can achieve life satisfaction here and if the two younger versions can beat you in a fight you'll step down from your role as demon of this world and I'll instill the Law of Chaos."

"Sounds ridiculous…" Homura said as she turned to look at the portal Zusa had made. Her younger, innocent version was talking with an angst-filled Holden. "Tell me, how did he come to know if my existence if he wasn't even able to see me for 34 years?"

"You were from an anime, I believe," Zusa said. "The deutoragonist (second protagonist) in the anime and the protagonist in the follow-up movie." Homura couldn't find anything to respond to that with. "This is a world filled with the most unlikely of heroes and villains, after all…"

Meanwhile, Andy and the young Homura were sitting around a table in the public library discussing some things. "So I became that weird adventurer and she became some sort of Lucifer… I had always wanted to live in a world filled with magic but isn't this a bit too ridiculous? And wouldn't that mean the two of us are just illusions with no actual identity?"

"…I guess you could look at it that way if you want," Sayaka said, not sure how to respond to such a grim truth.

"That's all right," Andy said. "Philosophically I've considered that as a possibility, along with the lack of free will… If we're illusions we must have some kind of role to achieve, and after that's finished I can finally say good-bye to this world and disappear. I'm totally not interested in becoming that jerk anyways."

"Well, that might or might not happen," Kyoko suggested. "These alternate versions of you might be able to escape from and exist independently of this labyrinth…"

Andy chuckled skeptically. "How exactly would I go on living a good life in any possible world…? I try to create things, my own worlds and ideas from time to time, and even if I end up being recognized or whatever all I'm doing is serving a hollow purpose and running away from what I perceive to be a dumb reality. And if I just ended up normal in the end that would negate the reason for all my pain…"

"…Love," Kyoko said. "Your older self was and is currently in love with the Lucifer Homura, Akuma Homura…"

"Huh," Andy thought. "Painfully resetting a month almost one hundred times for the sake of a best friend is certainly impressive, and I'm sure she deserves everything I can offer her, but in the end, wouldn't that still be a net loss for me? In addition, what Homura will eventually become is that troubled and crazy demon-goddess, isn't it?"

"Just fall in love with the girl sitting next to you," Sayaka suggested. "She's cute and has a good heart I believe. I imagine it could end up like some romantic comedy…"

Andy turned to look at the younger Homura who was feeling uncomfortable as she looked at the edgy boy through her set of red rimmed glasses. "Shy and innocent girls always were my type, but I wouldn't be able to find anything to do on dates and such… Even if I were to become interested in those activities I'm sure I'd mess everything up. In addition I wonder if this will get in the way of the role I'm supposed to accomplish in this magical barrier…"

"Oh, man up already!" Kyoko said.

"I think we'd get along better – Kyoko, was it?" Andy asked. "But you look already taken and probably have no interest in someone like me anyways…"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kyoko asked. "Is all this self-deprecation just your innate nature? Is that why your older self resorted to developing such a huge ego? Well you already do have a huge ego, but anyways just snap out of it! Sure, people are different and I can't completely fix you or make you happy, but are you really going to just sit there moping and telling yourself you can't talk to people? You already admitted yourself that accomplishing the most you can possibly accomplish with your talents won't make up for your lack of social life…"

"Bah," Andy said. "Don't you think I'm tired of that already? You suffered more than me and found Sayaka, but the fact is that this sort of thing was said to me over and over already, and from the looks of it will be said over and over in the future. 'Go find someone else, I'm not really interested in you, but you know, you still shouldn't give up…'"

Kyoko had to admit she saw why Andy had developed his psychological state. "…Idiot. I can't do everything for you but I'll still help you, and I'm sure Sayaka and this Homura will too. I honestly prefer that older version of you even if he is a creepy lolicon."

The young Homura tugged Andy's sleeve shyly and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. The boy was temporarily stunned by her cuteness before Y-Homura spoke up. "What you said… I can relate to it, you know…"

"W-Well, I'm still the wrong person to talk to about it," Andy said. "What had happened in most of the timelines was that Homura met Madoka Kaname and suddenly became inspired to start improving herself instead of moping about… All I can do is mope together with her…"

Kyoko smacked Andy's forehead with her fingers. "I already told you to stop going on about that. You're not that much different from everyone else even if you are more different than the average person. Madoka Kaname had esteem issues as well… Even if you're not as nice as her I'm sure you have other gifts and you can slowly improve with this version of Homura – together, you know."

"Man, this really is a whining teen circle-jerk," Zusa said as she stepped into the scene through a red flaming portal, bringing Akuma Homura, Mami, and Madoka along. "Younger versions, your role has been decided. Akuma Homura here has agreed to relinquish her rule over this world if you two can beat her in a fight… I'll be helping you guys train of course."

"…This is all too sudden," Andy said. "I'm not going to complain about having so many cute girls around me but why expect so much out of me?"

"In every universe I've seen with you there's what's considered high expectations for you, even if they're ones you set yourself," Zusa said. "You can either fulfill them or become a bum. There's no middle ground. And I'm not going to be teaching you two anything too complicated – the maxim of the efficacy of training a few moves many times rather than training many moves few times still holds true… I'll probably teach you Baji. That's what your older self uses."

"Isn't this other version of Homura some sort of demon-goddess?" Andy asked. "How are we supposed to go fighting that?"

"She'll be fighting with a limited arsenal that we'll decide when the time comes," Zusa explained. "In any case I agree with the generic stuff Kyoko's been saying to you – quit moping and improve yourself in some way at least."

"Is that really me?" Akuma Homura asked as she came up to the table and observed Andy and Y-Homura. "I still remember those days after all it seems… And the young Holden still has those same eyes even if he did change in his lifetime."

"As for you, A-Homura," Zusa said. "I'm guessing you should just continue doing what you were doing before you shot Holden and got into this whole mess. Become close friends with Madoka again… Holden will probably end up playing a role in this too."

"What about the rest of us?" Mami asked.

"Offer emotional support," Zusa suggested. "Y-Homura, Andy, come with me. I'll rip you out of school for the training, by the way. I won't beat you bloody like the Spartans did but you two will have to work hard if you'll want to get strong enough to beat Akuma Homura." With that, Andy and Y-Homura followed Zusa out of the library, and the twintailed girl distorted space to create her own realm for the training.

"This is all too ridiculous," Sayaka sighed as the five original magical girls were left by themselves. "So what was the deal exactly? Can't you just end this whole game if you want to?"

"Those two younger selves have to beat me and I have to enjoy life more," A-Homura said. "And if I end my rule prematurely, I feel I might end up snapping if certain things happen…" Homura wanted to know more about her life, why she existed, how she should exist… She couldn't dance around those questions like Holden did, but she wasn't willing to submit herself to a world of chaos before she knew those answers. "Madoka, are your parents still here in this world?"

Madoka checked her cell phone and nodded. "Homura-chan, what were you thinking…?"

"Living together," Homura admitted. She could just overwrite everything with magic, but she felt that wouldn't answer her questions. "It's okay then, I won't pressure you about it or forcibly change the circumstances if you don't feel like it." Homura paused before saying what she had to say next. "Can you at least come over for the night again, Madoka? Or maybe I can stay with you this time…"

"Um… I've been coming over to your place a lot, so mom and dad do want to meet you," Madoka said. "Do you want to come over right now?"

"That would be preferred," Homura said as she tapped Madoka on the shoulder. "I know where you live, but I feel you should still lead the way." As Madoka and Homura got going, the three other girls just looked at each other.

"So do we just hang out or something now?" Sayaka asked.

* * *

A lengthy silence passed between Homura and Madoka as they walked into an intersection. The scenery blended into the familiar Mitakihara crossings again as Andy's hometown faded out, which made things much easier. I still have so much to say to her, Homura thought. But she still didn't have the right words. It was still deeply ingrained in Homura's psyche that the best way to show her love for Madoka would be to fire a trigger or fight… That was how it had been for all too long.

"Homura-chan," Madoka finally spoke up. "I didn't get a chance to ask you this, but you and Holden… You two won't have to fight like that again, will you?" Homura could understand Madoka's concerns. Even though she saw the fight from a distance her heart was sensitive enough to register Holden's inhuman utilizing of his powers as an emotional shock. "I mean, when I became the Law of Cycles, I learned that nothing could stop Homura-chan from doing what she really wants, but…"

"Don't worry," Homura cut off Madoka. "I don't want to fight him again unless it's absolutely necessary." She recalled some of the things Holden had said – even after gaining such superhuman powers and becoming used to the pain of losing limbs he still considered himself human? She supposed that it must be one of the ways he kept some sort of grip on his mind. Perhaps that's why he spent so much time trying to figure out what humanity really was about…

"I'm sure we'll see him again too," Madoka said. "But don't be mean to him like last time… I can't imagine doing what he did, but I'm sure his feelings for you are real… Um, everyone expresses love in different ways…"

Homura replayed the mental image of Holden imploding his head to regenerate his limbs over and over again in her head to numb the shock. However she was sure that no matter how many times she saw something like that it still sent chills down her spine. "I'll try not to," Homura said. She had been curious at first, and then she sort of panicked among seeing Holden's powers – it was as if she was mad that he seemed to know something she didn't, but now she didn't want to know it. "Is that person really relevant to my well-being anyways?"

"Um… I don't really know about that," Madoka said. "It depends if you think you need to say more to him, I think."

What was it then? Homura thought. Sorry for shooting off your limbs like that? No, she was sure that Holden had been through greater battles through his lifetime. It also seemed that he understood that she was going to reject him if he made a serious proposal. Zusa had said the man lived fifty years and traveled over his world, but even then he couldn't find someone more convenient to love?

Upon introducing her friend to her parents, Madoka described Homura "as an awkward sort of girl that's been through a lot, but she has a good heart" or something like that. Homura complied with the conventional introductions decently enough. She had wanted this scene to happen sooner, but when Madoka had disapproved of her actions when she first spoke to her after recreating the world Homura had ended up distancing herself from Madoka trying to think of a way to win Madoka over.

The two girls headed up to Madoka's room soon enough and sat there in silence for a while longer. Homura thought about talking about love, but knew that Madoka didn't have that many things to say on that subject. Perhaps she would bring it up indirectly then. "Madoka, what do you think if we just went out and traveled the world together? I mean, after we were done with the school system and all that."

"Ehh?" Madoka asked, a little confused among hearing Homura's question. "I think I would like to see many things but I would also meet so many people and have to leave them… I would miss my home city too as the background would keep changing."

Homura nodded. "I'm the same, Madoka. I want to settle down with you…. But don't you think it's a different case with Holden? He's thoughtful, but also carefree, but sometimes when he looks at me it's totally different…" It was as if the dragon man had this empty sort of freedom that yearned for meaning, even if it meant being chained to it. "He says and acts as if he's fine with just me being happy and then leaving on his adventures but I can see that he wants to settle down with me too…. If this barrier really is consisted of half of his thoughts wouldn't we have to destroy his half to escape from it? I don't want to have it end up in a fight and netiher does he, but I'm not sure how we would talk it all out given the circumstances and his attitude."

"Hmm…" Madoka said with an odd smile. "So you do care for him after all."

Perhaps that was the case, Homura thought silently. He was a monster, a pervert, a weirdo, but he was also what he said he was, a human, or at least a sentient being that just saw things differently. She had fought out of fear as Holden had just kept blinding rushing at her, but deep down she really wasn't the person that could just shoot off someone's limbs and feel fine with it. "In any case, I'll have to talk to him soon," Homura finally said. Another silence passed between the two girls. "Madoka, can I have a hug? I might want to stay in that position for a while too…"

"Sure," Madoka nodded with a tender smile and Homura fell into Madoka's arms. Perhaps Homura had finally realized that she was scared. Not just because of Holden's powers, but perhaps because of the fact that someone like him possessed those sorts of powers… Certain humans were just scary people, and yet Homura would have to keep contact with him to get out of this barrier.

Would hugging Madoka really do any good though? Holden attacked mainly without magic and muscle but instead with his thoughts, much the Incubators had, but his case was different. She wouldn't be able to protect Madoka by trying to outtalk the man or anticipate his actions – it was as if the man just sort of wanted to see minds burn and sanity decay. Or was she just being too scared and simplifying things too much.

In any case, Madoka couldn't protect Homura now either with her ultimate form sealed away by none other than Homura herself. "Um, Homura-chan, that's a bit too much…" Madoka started, but Homura only tightened her grasp.

"I'm scared of that man, and that's why I'm hugging you," Homura said. "But I also just want to stay in this position… I want to stay like this for a really long time. Maybe even forever."

"But Homura-chan, we can't move like this…" Homura slowly loosened her grasp and slid away from Madoka.

"There's no one else," Homura said, a bit dejected. "There's no one else that I'd want to hold forever…"

Madoka felt uncertain about whether or not she should speak up. "I think there's a saying, Homura-chan… If you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with, or something like that…?"

"Learning to be satisfied, huh?" Homura asked as she turned away to hide her teary face from Madoka. "Is that how you've always lived? Is that the life that makes the most sense? You loved your family, your friends, just because they happened to be close to you… But I turned back time so many times for you and went through so much for you but in the end that doesn't outweigh everything else, does it? Have our minds just grown too far apart?"

"No, that's not…" Madoka cut off her own speech as she embraced her friend from behind. "I just can't imagine abandoning everyone else I know to love one person, that's all."

Was that Holden's problem too then? Homura thought. He couldn't love the ones he was with so he became an adventurer with superhuman powers and decided to chase after someone with such similar problems? No, that wasn't it. "I… It might not have even been like this at first, Madoka," Homura shrugged off Madoka's gentle embrace, almost as if she was annoyed by it. "At first it was just who I was. I wasn't good at anything and couldn't even speak up right… When you came into my life you just gave me too much compared to other people and maybe I misinterpreted that, maybe I got used to that…"

"But, but Homura-chan," Madoka interrupted. "I'm sure that… Trust what I'm saying, you'll find people or maybe a certain someone that will give you more love than I ever could… You just have to slowly learn to accept all these… All these different kinds of love…"

"…I guess that sort of makes sense," Homura said. But she wasn't a rational person. Just be happy as she was with Madoka, as friends because the circumstances didn't allow keeping Madoka all to herself? Or learn to… "I won't have to learn to accept that crazy dragon-man's love, will I?" While Holden did endure hundreds of bullets tearing apart his flesh arguably for Homura's sake, his experienced eyes told her that he had also done those sorts of things just to stay alive.

Madoka shook her head. "Of course not."

Homura ended up staying for a sleepover, eating dinner there and playing board games and doing some homework with Madoka for the rest of the night. Madoka didn't seem ready to bathe with Homura but said that they could do so sometime in the near future. Homura supposed that it was a pleasant night even though her heart was filled with worries and insecurities. When she went to bed, Madoka still wasn't entirely ready to cuddle with her even though they did sleep next to each other. It would be ridiculous to think that Madoka wouldn't go at a slow pace after all, Homura thought. On the other hand Kyoko had just went and cuddled up with Homura out of a random thought almost – she wondered how many times Sayaka had to talk her redheaded roommate out of doing crazy things.

Well then, what now? Homura thought as she made plans for the next day. Madoka was already asleep, being the kind of girl to tire out easily and go to bed early at night. Certainly she wasn't going to listen to Madoka's advice of moderation and all, would she? That's right, she wasn't given the opportunities for it beforehand, but now was the time to make a move. Slowly but surely, Homura would win Madoka over under Zusa's new Law of Chaos or whatever. Madoka would eventually be fine with that sort of intimate relationship if her friend didn't force herself to become a twisted goddess, wouldn't she?

As Homura drifted off to sleep, an image of a cliff overlooking a lush valley came into her mind. Right now she was looking into someone else's memories, but from third person…

"The twintailed Zusa, is it?" Holden asked without turning as he gazed over the edge of the cliff at that lush valley of his. "I've heard about you for quite a while, but I've finally had the pleasure of meeting you."

"Candor Shade. Convenient finding you here," Zusa said as she walked up right next to Holden. "It's known that you fly about pretty much everywhere whenever you have free time. Since flying isn't something I really do I would have to shoot you down, and even though I could pretty much win I wouldn't want to make our first encounter a fight."

"You didn't come here as a bounty hunter then?" Holden asked as he turned to Zusa. "I heard you're a really nice person, the type that captures the bounties alive, but I'm glad you're not after me. You're otherwise and mainly known for fixing up glitches and bugs in this big multiverse of ours, aren't you? I can't imagine you coming all the way here to talk to a wandering legend just out of curiosity, but I don't think I can do much to actually prevent this multiverse from collapsing though."

"It's a big more complicated than that," Zusa said. "You know I can travel across universes, don't you? Does the name 'Homura' come to mind for you?"

Holden wrinkled his brows. "Isn't that Japanese for 'flame'? When I think of Homura as a name, it seems sort of familiar, but I may have forgotten… I don't know, I've gotten hit on the head a lot of times before acquiring my magic, and my vampire part doesn't recover lost memories. In any case, I'm sure I've lost nothing important." Holden tapped his head. "I remember most of my life since childhood, I mean."

Zusa gave Holden a worried look. Her head only came up to the tip of the man's lips. "Do you… really not remember? Another version of me once took you to that world, Homura's world, and you wiped your own memories after you left… Upon scanning her memories it just seemed to be one huge mess. No one was really sure what happened there except that soon everything had to be reset to zero. But I'm sure that you should've found some way to remember her."

Holden scratched his head. "This Homura… I was in love with her then? I thought I had snapped out of those foolish things after 15. I mean sure, there was Hanabi and a few girls I had relations with but none of that deep falling love stuff… I'm not a lover, just some famed adventurer."

"Mind if I restore your memories?" Zusa asked as she raised her arm and pressed it against Holden's forehead.

"Is this…" Holden started. "Is this going to turn me into an idiot?"

"…You're really empty right now, aren't you?" Zusa asked. "Empty without the person you should love. But deep down you kept fighting on for all these years in this dangerous and magical world because you knew you had to live for some reason, right…?"

"As long as this doesn't turn me into some sort of drooling lunatic, do it." Holden said.

Zusa smiled. "Don't worry. Even during the first time we met… Well, when one of my other selves met you at just 16, she knew you were more than just a drooling lunatic." With that reassurance, Zusa sent a steady stream of red flames through Holden's brain, searching for those lost memories. In three seconds, Holden's eyes snapped open, and in another three seconds, he had tossed himself down onto the ground, yelling.

"What the hell?!" Holden asked as he inhaled sharply, his voice echoing across the valley. His face was a mix of emotions, from joy to sorrow to humor. "What the hell?! How could I forget about her…? How could I forget about that sweet Homura that I loved so much…?! Ahahahhaha!" Holden suddenly burst into laughter as he rolled across the ground. "Did I really make it so she was just from an anime? Was that how it all began, as waifuism?! How did a freaking ronery weaboo turn into this sort of adventurer, ahahaha… But no, would she, no I don't think she'd approve of me, I mean…"

Zusa pulled the man up by his ear and slapped his back. "I admire your energy, but get ahold of yourself."

"For more than 25 years I forgot about her…" Holden realized. "At least I was able to be in love for that solid eight…" Holden turned to Zusa. "What did you do this for again?"

"You know how the third movie ended, right?" Zusa asked, and Holden nodded. "Well, basically the situation has gotten worse from then. I'm asking you to fix the situation."

"The hell…?" Holden swore again. "The hell should I do about it?! I've spent my life… My damn life hunting bounties and fighting other bounty hunters, doing odd jobs and experimenting with the world… How the hell would I fix a magical girl situation? And if that's the scenario she's in wouldn't Homura still be too busy being obsessed with Madoka?"

"Heh," Zusa chuckled dryly. "The Candor Shade I know wouldn't get discouraged so easily. You never factor in realism and practicality when it comes to what to do with your life. It's all just what you love, what motivates you, what interests you as you dance around with your mind games. Really, it's easy to hate you, but for certain people, it's also easy to find you incredibly interesting."

"Eheha…" Holden laughed back. "Just give me a week or two to think this all through again and retrain my Baji… I've been flying around too much and depending on my wings recently. I should be able to fight her if things come to worst, right? Assuming you'd limit her power as a goddess and all."

Zusa nodded. "As long as you can get around the time stopping thing you're good competition – I'll teach you how."

"Thanks," Holden said awkwardly as he looked back into the beautiful valley. "You find me that interesting then? You won't fear I'll make things worse?"

"Madoka wants me to stop dragging other people into this," Zusa said. "Homura's just kicking them back out of her universe or swallowing them like a demon does and wiping their memories as they get reincarnated. "I don't think the situation will improve if we don't introduce new elements… Don't worry. Even if you get massively screwed, I feel that you have a good chance of saving your beloved Homura. That's why you exist, after all, isn't it?"

"Huh," Holden said as he stomped the ground. "Damn right. I've done too much in my lifetime and felt empty with it to have it be any other reason. I can't believe I forgot all about it, I mean. Right now my heart is just filled with so much meaning, more than I ever had when I was just an adventurer with magical powers."

Homura's eyes snapped open immediately after Holden uttered that statement, and all of a sudden she was alert and felt the need to go for a walk. The clock read 4 AM and it was completely dark outside, but Homura really didn't feel like going back to bed. She put on some slippers, opened Madoka's window and jumped out of it, landing on the cold ground gracefully. She was quite cold though, and supposed her magic was gone in this labyrinth of hers.

Homura always had trouble getting decent amounts of sleep, and would going on midnight and early morning walks in order to think things through or calm herself down. She looked at her hand, illuminated by the streetlights and wondered yet again if she should just end it all. She was stuck between a love that she probably knew wouldn't come true and the mind of a crazy dragon-man. If she wanted to, no one could really stop her, could they? Or maybe she would just wander out everywhere in this labyrinth, stuck in the duo of damaged minds until she finally died by whatever cause.

She had seen a sort of boyish innocence that dream she saw though, and even though she didn't think about sexuality much, Homura found it quite charming. Even then, there were too many lurking things in Holden's mind to accept that love of his… Anyone that knew him would probably agree, wouldn't they?

"And what are you doing out here?" Holden asked as his figure came up in the distance. Homura shuddered, but kept herself from running away. "A girl your age shouldn't be out on the streets at this time of the day, you know. Then again, many statistics show that men get caught up in fights and murders more than young girls, but that's probably because law and society cares about them less. In any case, you don't seem to have your magic in this labyrinth of ours, and I would really dislike it if something stepped out of our psyches and did something bad to you…"

"Spare me the analysis please," Homura said as she turned away. "I can't imagine many things that are worse than being forced into contact with you."

"Oh?" Holden asked. "If you want me to go away you can just say so…"

"But I need to talk to you." Homura tried to look Holden in the eyes. The streamlined pair of eyes were back in his usual human attitude. "This is your labyrinth as well as mine, after all… First, tell me what you exactly thought by charging at me blindly."

"Hmmph," Holden smiled gently. "A long time ago I used to admire the lives and principles of Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr., but over time I guess my innate nature screamed that I didn't want to be a punching bag… Well, it's complicated. I like fighting but I don't like hurting others – it took me a tremendous amount of discipline for me to fight with intent but also not give in to my anger. In any case I guess I wanted to establish the fact that I love you, but I'm not going to be your punching bag."

"…I guess that makes sense," Homura said. It would've been pretty bad if beating up Holden had become routine. She had killed and punished Kyubey thousands of times by now, but even if Holden wasn't technically human she really couldn't see herself hurting him for the sake of it. "I'm sorry I kept shooting at you. At first I was curious, and then I guess I was just a bit afraid…" Homura took a deep breath. "You scare me, you know?" Holden looked quite hurt among hearing those words. "I'm… I'm sorry I had to say that but it needed to be said."

"…It's fine," Holden said as he looked away. "Most people are scared of me…" Homura looked at Holden as if she wanted more information on that matter, and their eyes met. "There are those fighting fanatics that just go after me for the sake of it, I guess, and those that see me as a complicated but logical variable. There was also this girl…" Holden's gaze darted away again. "She seemed quite stoic and strong since the moment I first met her. She reminded me that I was always part human as I gradually became more and more of a monster, and spared my life when she needed to hunt me down." A silence passed between the two, and Holden got into a weird stance, lifting one of his legs and putting his weight on the other. He took a deep breath and held it before suddenly dropping his weight, twisting and exhaling, slamming down his elbow as his body pushed downwards.

"Is that…?" Homura asked. The downwards elbow looked to be the same one that had popped her arm out of her socket.

"Yeah, it is," Holden explained. "The simplified version is just a downwards elbow that can hit anywhere, but you were shocked so I was able to get you by the arm and take away one of your entire limbs… I was really worried I'd have to keep doing that until we got trapped in this labyrinth."

"…Right," Homura said. Did she trap Holden with her in this labyrinth because she had realized there was no way she could beat him physically, at least not without retaining her humanity?

"It also bursts outward so you can hit with the shoulder," Holden explained. "Baji trainees oftentimes slam their body against poles or trees. The size difference between us allowed me to get pretty clean hits after you blew my arms off, and you fell for the low kick feint pretty easily… If you're really going to accept Zusa's Law of Chaos you better prepare for many others that will fight after losing arms, even though most people quit Baji because of the strenuous leg training."

"…Right," Homura said again. "Is that what you're out here for? Training in the cold night air? Do you also practice that head imploding thing of yours?"

"That's a technique that has value outside of surprise, so yes," Holden said. "It really was hard trying to maintain a human identity after learning to use all these powers… But I also just like to walk like you're doing now, or fly into the cold night sky. Since I'm part vampire, I only need to sleep for 3-4 hours, although I can go as long as 7 if I really want to. You seem to be completely human in this labyrinth… When did you go to sleep?"

"Around 10:30 AM," Homura said.

"Your body is still young so you'll need more sleep than that," Holden said. "Although I never had many special tricks for that myself. I'm sure you've tried cuddling with pillows and blankets, right?"

"I was sleeping over at Madoka's, but she wouldn't let me hug her that much," Homura explained. "I'm sure her love isn't the same as mine… And I'm not sure if I want to know much about you now, let alone have a relationship with you."

"…In any case you need more sleep," Holden said, a bit annoyed after a short silence. He walked up to Homura and took her hand, but upon realizing how cold and sweaty it was, let go of her. "Just… Get back to Madoka's place safely then. I want to walk you there." And so, Homura turned and led the way. "You sure you don't want to know more about me?" Homura nodded. "Well, just see me as someone that didn't fit in when he was growing up and happened to stumble upon the luck of being destined for all this magical adventuring."

"…Why exactly didn't you fit in?" Homura felt herself getting a bit heated. "Even if you were bad at talking, surely there was something in your world that interested you… Well, I guess I do have to learn more about you if I want to get out of this labyrinth."

"My fantasies were just a bit too wild, you know?" Holden asked. "I guess you wouldn't be able to understand that, but that's how things were. America always had its typical obsession with sports, sex, and money (which transferred over to emphasis on grades in my elitist suburban community), and sometimes politics and religion, but those just didn't do for me…"

"Anime and games, right?" Homura guessed.

"Nailed it," Holden said. "But even then I was the creative type to create my own stories, own thoughts, own worlds no matter how little people appreciated them or how bad I was at selling myself. I still really dreamt of being a hero or adventurer though and wouldn't let my creative passions just take the slot of a hobby, though… Deep down I was frustrated by my own lack of interest in things and converted that into anger at the people around me for being captivated and occupied so easily by mediocre and unimpressive things. In the end that went to self-deprecation as I kept trying to become better and better at the things I did. It was a never-ending staircase that I would be glad to have climbed a few flights by the time I was dead."

"And then you saw me through an anime?" Homura asked.

"Yup," Holden said. "There were plenty of lolicons nastier than me, but there were the cutest fanarts of you too… In any case, what do you think is the greatest thing that could be done out of love?" Homura couldn't really reply to that. "I would say your looping time over and over makes for a good candidate and is a more popular plot device in stories nowadays, but I think the most loving thing that could be done is to create a whole new world to make your beloved happy, and watch over them as a loving god that favors one person over everyone else. It makes for a pretty shitty story in most people's eyes and the morals behind it are pretty dubious, but I'm sure every person has had that desire when they had to watch their loved ones go through any type of pain and suffering."

"Is that what you want for me then?" Homura asked as she stopped outside Madoka's open window. "You say things like you certainly understand why I did what I did."

"…I've certainly wanted to do that for you before," Holden admitted. "Even to sacrifice my entire self while at it. But I guess in the end that's not how I see humanity – love may transcend humanity, but I think the most beautiful moments of love are when we work within the frameworks of humanity, when we are swayed by our ignorance and our incompleteness as we bravely face the strange world together."

"…I would accept your point more if I didn't see you as such a crazy person," Homura said as she began to climb up into the window. "I'm sure we have plenty more to do and say together and I'm not at all looking forwards to it."

Holden gave Homura a tender and loving expression. "Take care of yourself until then, Homura."


	5. Transgressions

Transgressions

When Akuma Homura awoke the next morning, she told Madoka her honest desire of wanting to spend the whole day with each other, but Madoka said that she needed to help her father with shopping and chores. Homura supposed she could fit into that role of really, really close friend, but also wanted to be alone with Madoka when they spent time together.

"Yo," Kyoko said as she bumped into Homura along the streets. Surprisingly, the redhead didn't have any food on her for once. "Sayaka's doing things I don't have to meddle in again. She promised me if I didn't pig out on snacks today she'd make me a really good dinner, and I'm quite curious as to what it is. I thought you would stay longer with Madoka, though…"

"She has things to do that don't involve me," Homura explained as Kyoko began to lead Homura to the arcades. "Hey, Saku… Kyoko… What do you think of Holden?"

"What's this all about?" Kyoko asked. "Well, I guess this is his labyrinth as well as yours, so knowing more about him might help us break out of it."

"…I'm quite scared of him to be honest. And it's not just his powers, I mean…"

"I guess I can understand that," Kyoko said as she entered the arcades and leaned against the crane machine. "But I don't really see him as a creep… I don't know, I sort of felt I could've turned out like him if Sayaka hadn't been there to hold me steady."

"Kyoko… You wouldn't have," Homura said rather worriedly. "The only things you two share are eye shape and fangs… You're a much better person than that. Anyone would think so…"

"Well, that's kind of irrelevant," Kyoko said as she stopped leaning and searched for a game to play. She ended up sitting inside one of the racecar simulators. "I don't know, doesn't it sometimes feel like he's just a little kid that knows too much about the world? I don't sense much sadism even if you're right about the fact that hardly anybody would call such a man decent."

"…But besides his innate nature, didn't the way he was fighting disturb you in the slightest?" Homura asked as she sat down on the racecar besides Kyoko.

"I would've charged at you like that if you kept firing bullets at me, you know," Kyoko said. "And everybody that knows magic has gone through their share of challenges. I'd like to think that you're still a good person after everything you put yourself through, so there's no reason to think that weirdo is a bad person just because he went through things too."

"…Right," Homura admitted as Kyoko started the racing game and quickly took first place. "You talked to that younger version of him. Did you learn anything?"

"Heh," Kyoko chuckled. "He was egotistic at that age and quite self-deprecating too. That's probably his nature that he ended up trying to hide by making everything seem like a joke, even when he's being pessimistic and cynical all the time. He probably just sees his love for you as his savior… Well, in the end I can't really judge him on that. I feel it's sort of like that way with everyone."

"Then…" Homura began. Was she the same then? Wasn't that why she ended up clinging to Madoka? Well, even if she admitted that Holden was still far too much of a weirdo to reasonably sympathize with him.

Meanwhile, Zusa was forcing Andy and Y-Homura to stay in painful stances and shift between them, always returning to the unforgiving horse stance. "Come on, hold it, hold it, back straight, knees in, lower!" Zusa yelled, staying in the stance herself as the two younger selves groaned in agony.

"This isn't even like normal training!" Andy complained. "I don't get all breathless and pant, it's just really painful and I end up sweating…"

"In all the magical worlds I've come across this basic and fundamental principle is quite effective when it comes to… Hey!" Zusa yelled as Y-Homura sunk to her knees. "I don't believe in corporal punishment for things like this but get up, get up!" Y-Homura struggled to get up, but collapsed again. "Fine then, rest for a bit. We'll fix your motivational issues later! Andy, your stances are wrong!" Andy's balance broke apart and he sunk on his behind as well. "Fine then, I'll think of something later… As I was saying, as long as you can keep your balance and legs rooted to the Earth it'll help your fighting tremendously. Even if you're facing someone that's using earthquakes and chasms it'll greatly improve your movements."

"You can't expect too much of Homura, I mean," Andy said. "She does have a heart condition and has been out of P.E. for a long time now, you know…"

"I fixed that condition with my flames," Zusa said, and Y-Homura nodded to Andy to assure Zusa's statement. "And most people have these sorts of handicaps. No excuses…! Hmm. I'll actually lighten up on you two if only one of you can break a weak flame of mine. Just punch it in the right way and it should go poof." Andy stood up to his full height, ready for the challenge. At this age the boy was still shorter than Zusa. "Ready?"

Andy nodded. "My legs are tired, but I can give you a good punch." With that, Zusa created a red fireball in one of her palms and lightly tossed it in Andy's direction. "Haaarggh!" Andy yelled as he punched the fire with all his strength. "Huh…?" When the boy drew back his fist it was covered in red flames. "What… Agh! Get it off, get it off! Stop, drop and roll, was it? Stop, drop, roll…!" Andy started to throw himself to the ground and beat out the flames against the concrete ground, but Zusa simply shook her head and twirled her finger. The red flames withdrew from Andy's fist and danced across Zusa's arm before pressing into her chest and disappearing. Andy looked at the burns on his hand ruefully. "Is there any way you could heal this for me…?"

Zusa chuckled as she transformed into her magical outfit and unwrapped some of the bandages on her right arm, giving a good line to Andy to work with. There were still plenty of other bandages beneath the ones Zusa had removed from her outfit. The twintailed girl probably had infinite amounts on her, everything coming from magic and all. Andy looked at his fist after wrapping it, and felt upset that he couldn't really separate his fingers now. "That's a crappy punch, too. Put more control into it, you're hyperextending. In any case we really need to solve this motivation issue of yours first. How about you two talk it out?"

"…Assuming I'm not completely retarded, I'll probably get better at this over time," Andy said as he sat down next to Y-Homura while Zusa reverted to her normal clothes and sat next to the boy. "Zusa, my older self got better at animating and writing and all that, right?"

"He sure did," Zusa said.

"But this is still all pretty stupid…" Andy continued. "It's fine if you don't want to do this, Homura. Our future selves don't seem to get along very well, and it was wrong to drag you into this in the first place."

Y-Homura shook her head and gave the boy a gentle smile. "Andy-kun…"

"Just Andy, I already told you this…" Andy started.

"Andy… We're lonely people, aren't we?" It was quite a simple statement, but Y-Homura seemed to be decently observant.

"Maybe we're all hiding our feelings too much," Zusa said as she looked at the false sky. "Trying to be adults too fast… Or maybe we have the wrong idea about growing up. I'm sure most people do even after growing up physically."

"I'll just spit, self-deprecate and go into my cycle of laziness for this Baji thing, just like everything else I do," Holden said as he looked down at the ground. "According to Zusa my older self was able to improve that way."

"…Do you really think that's how you should be living, though?" Y-Homura asked. "I don't mean as you have to live a certain way because you live with other people, I mean is that why you exist?" Andy looked away, a little embarrassed. "You're pretty smart, Andy. Most people would notice that… I think you could do anything and you certainly have the motivation to."

"I just need to be more social, right?" Andy asked. "Well, the display is more important than the actual content in the world we live in anyhow."

"Well… I don't have either of that," Y-Homura said.

"You have the potential for that," Andy said. "Look at your future self. You turned back time so many times to save your friend and you ended up becoming a really cool Lucifer person. I ended up becoming a perverted dragon man that abandoned his heroic dreams."

"Is that really how you see things…?" Y-Homura asked.

"In any case, even without magic, you're an innocent and good-hearted person," Andy said. "You probably would've eventually overcome your unfortunate circumstances. I can't say that for myself, being dreamy, selfish, impractical and all of that even though I was born in the nice suburbs to a decent family."

"…If you're really going to be that insistent I can't argue with words," Y-Homura said. "But I do know that you're wrong about these things, and make friends with you to prove it. And since we can't talk to each other well, I think I'll just have to do more training…"

"Touching and all," Zusa said as she stood up and walked to a position where she could face Y-Homura and Andy. "Back to training!"

* * *

As the week went on, Akuma Homura and Madoka would do more things together, but as much as Homura enjoyed spending time with the person she loved, Madoka couldn't really reciprocate Homura's romantic interests and so Homura's psyche remained dissatisfied. Today the two girls were spending time in the public bath together, Madoka rejecting Homura's sexual and touching advances and Homura being yet again disappointed as she backed off. At least she could look at Madoka's beautiful body…

What if Madoka had to love Homura back for this barrier to disappear? Homura felt that Madoka was still too righteous to love out of fear and such… Really though, why couldn't friends just be enough? Homura sank down into the hot water and blew some bubbles. That was a perfectly reasonable question, but Homura still felt that after all she had been through she needed more than friendship. No matter how Holden or more intelligent people might try to convince her, Homura wasn't letting go of her consuming love.

When Madoka and Homura got out of the shower wearing bathrobes they saw a nude Holden doing Baji stances outside the men's bath. Upon seeing the naked man the two girls averted their eyes. "It's really just coincidence we bumped into each other," Holden said, unashamed at all. "I was thinking of taking a hot bath after training and flying around, but it appears the men's bath broke after I stepped in for a short while."

"We share supporting this imagined barrier," Homura said. "So I don't think any of our meetings are just coincidences."

"I guess that's one way to put it," Holden said as he reverted to a normal standing position. "Are my muscles really that repulsive though? I don't think I'm overly muscled or anything but being part vampire really makes the most out of the stuff I eat, although the bulges on my legs are also created from all the training I do."

"Just put on some clothes," Homura said, and Holden looked a little bored as he donned a bathrobe.

"You know in general women are attracted to muscles," Holden said. "But I don't suppose either of you really experimented with your sexuality given the lives you've led. I do like lolis, but when you add muscles and fine lining, I sort of feel the male physique is more aesthetic than the female's which is just consisted of simple curves. Or would you prefer the seven-foot tall Fist of the North Star models? Uwashock!"

"We probably have more to say to each other, but I don't want to talk to you in this situation," Homura said as she took Madoka's hand and started walking off. "Madoka, let's go."

"You two both look really cute in those bathrobes, by the way," Holden said as he sighed and went back to the changing room to get his normal clothes. "Well, it was worth a shot I guess…" Holden muttered to himself as he dropped the bathrobe and pulled up his boxers. "There are plenty of studies supporting the notion sexuality is a genetic predisposition, but Homura's case is rather complicated, plus sexuality should be fairly malleable as well… Hmph." Holden looked up at the ceilings as he thought about everything he did in life. "Well, it's not like I want to stop loving her in that manner or anything…"

Along the way to Madoka's house Madoka didn't comment much on Holden's nude body, which was what Homura had expected. Homura had overheard many girls at the school talk about attractive male models and actors and supposed Madoka was just too innocent for that kind of stuff. "…I can't think of anyone to be with besides you, Madoka," Homura said. "Kyoko always seemed to have her hands full with Sayaka and Mami and I have too many differences… I can't imagine lying down on that weirdo's muscled body, let alone confide in him and relax with him."

"Homura-chan, you've said that many times before already," Madoka said as she pulled up ahead of her friend. "I won't yell at you or anything, but please, Homura-chan…" Madoka turned back to her friend with a worried look. "Stop doing all of this to yourself."

When Homura returned to her apartment she scrunched up in a ball in a corner of her room. She had hundreds of reasons why she could only love Madoka and why she needed to be this stubborn, but in the end it also felt like everything was her fault. Certainly, she could've lived life differently, couldn't she?

The doorbell rung, and when Homura opened the door she saw who she had expected. "Everyone's favorite crazy dragon man," Holden announced as he stood at the front door with a boyish, nervous expression. "Sorry I showed you all of that… I thought that trying to do something would be best. I was sort of nervous about it all though. What if lolis liked fat people?"

Homura wanted to shut the door in Holden's face but she knew it would be futile. In this world Holden had magic along with his martial arts and size advantage, so Homura was literally at his mercy. Even then she could keep telling him to back off and he would do it, right?

"I don't find your body repulsive," Homura explained. "I've just gotten used to finding Madoka's body the most beautiful and yours is around her complete opposite in terms of structure and proportions…"

"Well even then, I think you should be proud of nature and all the bodies it created," Holden said. "Sure you may have a favorite person and favorite things in the world, but what makes the world so great is that besides having your favorites it's still a beautiful world, don't you think?"

"Maybe I have something in me that keeps me from appreciating that beauty," Homura muttered. "Just like you can't appreciate social standards and normal conversation." To be fair Homura couldn't really appreciate that either. "If you really want to cheer me up make dinner for me – a good one. If you light the place on fire or break things you'll be responsible and if what you make is horrible keep cooking until you make something tasty. I'll be in my room moping."

"Heheh," Holden laughed. "Creative. That's a pretty good deal considering that in a normal situation I'd probably be thrown in the friggin' slammer for showing two young girls the beauty of the male physique." Upon hearing that statement, Homura marched up to her room. "Well then…" Holden said as he looked in Homura's refrigerator and cabinets. "Cheap curry sauce, cheap canned meat and vegetables. I'm sure she's tired of that taste by now… Homura-chan, I'm going to go out to get some better ingredients, okay?" Homura didn't respond, and Holden opened up a large window and jumped out of the apartment before spreading his wings and taking off. It was partially his labyrinth so conveniently people wouldn't notice if he didn't want them to, or something like that.

Around 45 minutes later, a pleasant aroma came from the kitchen and entered Homura's nostrils. The man did live a pretty long life so it wasn't a complete surprise that he knew how to cook. Sure, Holden was scary and thought about weird things, but his attitude towards life was a bit admirable to be honest. Of course, he really didn't have any other option besides moping about if he wasn't going to just go out there and take pride in his weirdness, didn't he?

Soon enough, dinner was ready, and Homura withdrew from her room and came into the dining area. She still didn't have much appetite, but the food looked pretty good. It was rather generic Chinese food consisting of some fried rice, some beef with bell peppers and some vegetables. "This is what I usually had for dinner, thanks to mom," Holden said. "Up to high school the school lunches were terrible. College food wasn't bad but it was still overly sauced and hey, there's nothing like home cooking…" After Holden handed Homura a moderately small plate, Homura took a spoonful of the rice and tried it out, then the beef, then the vegetables.

"…This is pretty good actually. Thanks," Homura said.

"That's a relief," Holden said with a gentle smile. "I didn't think you'd dislike it unless you have allergies or something against Chinese food." The young man helped himself to his own servings, eating at quite the pace while Homura continued to sit there awkwardly. "No appetite?"

"Y-Yeah…" Homura said as she prodded the rice on her plate.

"I guess I can kind of understand," Holden said. "I hate routine. Eating in a timely fashion and all that stuff… Sometimes I'd treat my body like crap, sometimes I wouldn't but my digestive system always processed the stuff badly and it would often come out awkward the other end. Of course now I'm part vampire so I don't even have to defecate and can go 10-12 hours without urinating…"

"…Didn't you ever take the lesson that you'd regret it all later?" Homura asked.

Holden gave Homura an interested glance. "I try not to think like that because no one knows what would've happened if you took the other route. But please, eat up… If you don't I won't feel comfortable eating, you know." Homura sort of looked like she didn't even have the energy to lift her pair of chopsticks. "Mind if I spoon-feed it to you then?"

"Go ahead," Homura said. Holden came over to her side and lifted a spoonful of fried rice up into Homura's mouth.

"Say 'ahhn'…"

"Ahhn…" the spoon went into Homura's mouth.

"…Bite down?" It looked like Homura didn't have the motivation for that either, so Holden gently took Homura's chin and pushed it upwards to help her chew. After Homura swallowed she looked at Holden a bit confused.

"How much weirder could you possibly get, seriously…? I'll eat on my own now." Homura took the spoon back from Holden and did just that as Holden retreated to his side of the table.

"Aww, you were really cute when being fed though. But I'm just glad you're eating now." Holden resumed eating his own share at his own pace, and the two silently ate dinner together. "This isn't that uncomfortable for me, really," Holden said. "Don't speak up unless you're really comfortable with it… My family had a bunch of silent dinners together as well."

"How big was it?" Homura asked, almost finished with her plate.

"Just my parents and a brother around two years older than me," Holden said. "I was the real oddball of the group… My dad had his quirks but overall he was serious enough to just do computers and housework for hobbies and work with computers for his job. You?"

"…I don't want to remember them," Homura said. "My family doesn't mean much to me, and I probably don't mean much to them, even now… Your family still did things for you even though you were so weird, didn't they?"

Holden shrugged as he looked out the window. "We did have our fights about giving me a certain amount of space and freedom but eventually that cooled down over time, along with my sour relations with them... When I was a college student I did some chores and favors but couldn't really bond with them in more normal ways. I'm sure they would've disapproved if they found out the whole truth about me being a lolicon and having a waifu and messing around with little girls right now. I haven't heard from them ever since I became a magical adventurer."

"Is that so…?" Homura asked, and silence fell between the two again. That probably wasn't the thing that needed to be addressed to escape from this labyrinth, even if Holden could overanalyze it. Homura finished what was left on her plate and stood up formally. "Thanks for the meal."

"You're undereating," Holden observed. "Let me spoon-feed you some more." For some reason, Homura didn't refuse the offer, and sat down again, letting the young man feed her for a while.

"Is this what you always wanted to do when you were a kid?" Homura joked.

"I thought I'd just become normal when I was really young," Holden admitted. "But as I entered adolescence my free spirit didn't disappear along with childhood, and I wasn't in the mood for abandoning some unrealistic things… Well then, what now?"

"Could you come over tomorrow and teach me how to make all of this?" Homura asked. "It's rather embarrassing to admit, but I didn't have time for it so I'm a pretty lousy cook myself…"

"Eh, don't worry about that," Holden said. "I didn't learn to cook well until I was in my twenties. And you should be able to learn easily as long as you aren't clumsy with everything. By the way, mind if I stay here a bit longer?"

"…Go ahead," Homura said as she headed back up to her room. "I'm going to lie on the bed and do some homework." Homura didn't want to admit it, but eating with Holden was more comfortable than eating with Madoka or Madoka's family. It seemed like his type of introversion was more similar to hers in whatever sense of the word. The dragon man was one creepy weirdo, but Homura didn't feel as if she was trapped by love or social norms.

Holden came into the room and pointed at Homura's laptop playfully. "Knock yourself out," Homura said. "The password is Madoka written in English." Holden grabbed the swivel chair and started doing some weird stuff on the computer while Homura just lied down on the bed, given that there were no monsters to hunt and no magical nightmares to face.

"It's okay if you don't feel like doing anything," Holden said. "It may feel lonely at times but you sort of believe that you'll be able to share that act of doing nothing with a special someone one day, won't you?" Homura rolled over in bed among hearing that statement. Madoka's version of doing nothing seemed to be significantly different than Homura's version in whatever sense of the term, and they didn't share the acts of doing nothing very well. "Ehh, I don't want to draw with the touchscreen or fly back to my apartment." Holden took a small breath and exhaled as he took out a drawing tablet from his stomach and attached it to the computer. Homura looked over at the screen to notice the young man working with some animating software.

And so, Holden began to animate while Homura continued to do nothing as the two began to lose track of the time. When Homura got up and saw what was on Holden's screen, Holden turned around nervously and scrubbed the playhead across the timeline. It was an animation of Homura blushing and giving the viewer a sweet smile, but only the hair was colored so far.

"Hey, that's pretty good," Homura said. "I expected more of in such a long period of time though… Wait, did you redraw all those frames?"

Holden nodded. "Your guess is correct." He created a blank keyframe somewhere along the timeline and began drawing to show Homura the slow pace of drawing. "I like to frame-by-frame, so that's how things ended up."

"You spent many of your high school and college days doing this then?" Homura asked.

"I liked it though," Holden admitted. "At first I just wanted to create a world more beautiful than the boring one I was forced to live in, but for me there's almost a whole philosophy behind the beauty I find in animation. First of all it's honest labor if you really want to redraw frames. It also shows the importance of change as the animation will look better if you actually redraw frames and not move a symbol about with computer-generated tweens… And it emphasizes the importance of subtlety because some things just don't move that fast so you'll have to only alter the frame you're redrawing by a bit, and the importance of consistency because even if you let one or two frames slide saying it's not important it can make the entire animation look worse as these mistakes gather up. If you don't pay attention, a character's head on frame 1 might end up at 70% of its original size in a distorted shape on frame 13. Of course the digital resizing helps but it doesn't always work perfectly."

"Are you just trying to flatter me with what you're animating?" Homura asked. The animated representation was pretty spot on though…

Holden chuckled. "I wanted to see Homura's sweet smile, so I drew it. If I could find a way to see it in person I'd prefer that to my pretentious artsy shit though."

"…Then would you?" Homura asked. "Would you abandon all your talents and accomplishments and powers if it meant making me happy?"

"That's not even a question," Holden said. "Of course I would… I would become a total retard, a total vegetable if you were happy with that. On the part about sacrificing others you asked me about earlier though, I guess in the end it really comes down to instinct, so I wouldn't be able to say that for sure. Love isn't a conscious or reasonable reaction… But I'd prefer my family and loved ones fight and die righteously like lions instead of whimpering like cowards to a strong system, you know?"

"But…" Homura started. "It really seems like you do like thinking things through, and you do like logic and reason. How come you're always fine with yielding those to your passions then?"

"Heh," Holden said. "We live because of our passions, don't we? Thinking, logic and reason can only go so far when you want to create or provide for love. Whenever I feel like I can describe love in rational interpretations or systems and the feelings overcome all logic I just end up impressed and attached to that feeling all the more."

"….Right," Homura said as she began to yawn. For some reason she suddenly felt comfortable and quite sleepy, and she lied down on the bed and began to grab her blankets.

"It looks like I should get going soon," Holden said. "No reason for me to stay the night, but…" Holden took the blankets and pulled them up to the girl's chest, gently tucking his beloved in. "Sleep tight, Homura. Sweet dreams." The young man began leaning down for a good-night kiss, but stopped as if asking permission.

"G-Go ahead…" Homura said a bit nervously, and Holden went all the way down and embraced his beloved before kissing Homura on the forehead.

"I love you. I'll come back tomorrow to help with dinner, okay?" Holden said with a tender smile before wondering whether he should simply walk out the room. He looked at the repaired window and opened it up and squeezed through with his slender frame before jumping out and spreading his red wings. After flying around in a circle he returned to close the window from the outside, and then flew off into the cold night air.

Am I really developing feelings for such a messed up weird dragon man? Homura thought as she pulled the blankets closer to her chest. It was shameful in a sense, but after all the events that Holden had dragged her into, Homura's heart couldn't help but tell her to give the young man a chance.

* * *

"I don't think I can even feel my legs now…" Andy complained as he lied down on the mattress designated for him to sleep in. "This schedule is really freaking dumb… Six hours of training minimum, and the rest for resting and bodily maintenance. And did you really decide to put a boy and a girl in the same room?"

Y-Homura was also lying down on her mattress which was around two meters or so away from Andy's, and Zusa was standing in the corridor. "You got to focus, you know?" Zusa asked. "And I don't really have any qualms. At this age neither of you will actually be confident to make any sexual advances, even if Andy does look at porn and masturbate all the time."

"Ah well, I don't think my life would've gone anywhere even if magical things hit this instance of me," Andy said as he rolled over in bed. "I'm socially retarded, after all."

"Don't say that about yourself," Y-Homura said to both Andy and Zusa's surprise. "From what I've seen and heard I think you're capable of many things, Andy… With a mind like yours you can do anything in life."

"Heh," Zusa said. "Even if he was introverted and unpleasant company, your older self was always able to do crazy things if he really wanted to."

"That's not exactly what I mean," Andy complained. "It doesn't feel like I was born for anything in particular… Maybe I can do some things, impress some people, but in the end self-improvement is a never-ending staircase. And as you said my older self will still be unpleasant company – I don't feel like I can properly receive and display the social affection that people around me do."

"Well, he's able to show affection for lolis I guess," Zusa said. "His sexual encounters weren't as deplorable as you might think either… Well, I guess that might just be me trying to be nice as I haven't actually hung out with him much. I've met many different types of people in my travels and I've always thought it unhealthy to just assume someone's a bad person."

Y-Homura was listening to all of this and seemed to be thinking "Well what about me?" when Andy spoke up. "I don't feel that's the case with you, Homura… Certainly, fate butchered your potential, but in the end I think you're just a shy girl that has the potential to make a lot of people happy, even if you don't learn fast or have particular talents. On the other hand I have plenty of problems more troublesome than just shyness."

"Then…" Y-Homura started shyly and uneasily. "You accept me as a friend, then?"

Andy flushed a little. "It's probably me being frustrated with the fact that I wouldn't be a good friend to you. I went to school every day and just saw normal people that aren't doing much with their lives and cursed my own existence, but you… I don't know, your purity and innocence and what you eventually became in the future… Maybe I am just being stupid letting a cute girl capture my heart though."

"You two are both being pretty dumb," Zusa said with a gentle smile. "A person's mind really isn't fixed… Stop looking for that stable identity that you want to find. After all, there are a lot of things to see in this world and if you're too focused on finding that one way to look at life you'll miss out on quite a lot."

"Wouldn't that sort of be a betrayal of values though?" Andy asked. "Just remembering the way my future self looked at me and beat me up pisses me off…"

"Heh, not really," Zusa said. "Your future self was probably just embarrassed and holds those memories dear to him… Over time you'll do many things in life and your mind will change along with the world, but I think at the end of it all there's still one 'you' that did all of this that you can't quite describe… Well, I may have just gotten too used to talking in these vague terms, while your older self does cartwheels and circles around the deep themes. Training's over for today. Good night." Zusa flicked off the lights as she walked out of the room.

Akuma Homura woke up from her sleep with an indescribable, unpleasant feeling in her heart. She had somehow seen that scene with her younger self through her dreams… Today was another school day, and it looked like Homura had actually gotten a good amount of sleep for once.

Would it really all work out…? Homura thought to herself as she began brushing her teeth. Even if Holden had good intentions, there was no guarantee that playing his psychological game would actually work out. As Homura ate her cheap breakfast and walked to school she found herself playing with thought experiments. If it was Holden she had met instead of Madoka, and he had his dragon vampire glory and all…

She wouldn't have to see him die over and over again, because it didn't really seem he could die. But in exchange she would have to see that inhuman healing process and the cold manner which he treated his body… Magical girls defied biology and physics, but the raw gore and brutality Holden faced in close-range combat was something different entirely. If it was a different world they would probably face more human opponents as well…

Sometimes when Holden gave her that tender look Homura thought that it was impossible that such a man could fight or kill other people, but then she thought of the men that went to war and came home to their families with their minds intact. In the end, Homura supposed she still had a human nature at her core that indeed could recover from tragic and miserable events. But wasn't it all ridiculous? To become soft after toughing it out to survive, and then to become tough yet again when the time came for it…

And didn't that make Homura's love rational in a sense? To favor Madoka over everyone else may be unfair, but her heart was wired to favor specific humans… If all of the science supporting evolution was to be believed, humans only came so far because of their natural biases and because certain groups were better suited for nature… When the time came, many people would have to be abandoned. Why did Madoka become a being that contradicted this law, one that would treat all magical girls equally?

That's just who she was, Homura thought. But was that the reason she ended up loving Madoka, or did she merely love Madoka because she was the only friend that supported her? Kyoko was a good person, but Homura felt less attracted to that sort of attitude. A voice started to whisper into Homura's head. "If Madoka won't love you the way you want to, why not just be with the person that will…?"

Homura suddenly felt angry that she would ever think of such thoughts. Even if there was a part of Holden that was very compatible with Homura, she just didn't trust where her emotions might lead her. But in all this time, was focusing so much on Madoka really the right thing to do?

After school, Homura went to the library and checked out a cookbook before coming home. She wanted to lock herself up and distance herself from everyone else all of a sudden, but for some reason Homura just couldn't find the motivation to cook for herself. She began moping in a corner before the doorbell began to ring. When it rang for the ninth time, Homura finally came over and found Holden.

"…So you decided to let me in after all?" Holden asked with a nervous smile. Homura supposed she should've dealt with the situation differently, but seeing as it was Holden he would be quite forgiving of weird actions and such. Holden took off his shoes and entered with a bag of fresh ingredients.

Homura was rather quiet as Holden showed all of the things to do in detail, but the young man didn't seem to be displeased with that either. It was as if he could relate, and possibly that he wouldn't mind cooking for her for the rest of his life. Eventually, the food was ready, and a silence passed between the two before Holden finally spoke up.

"You know, your face… the human face is capable of making a lot of expressions that show off a lot of different moods," Holden said. "And body language too… Sometimes it just seems kind of fun to be able to play with all the personalities you're able to make, you know?" Upon saying that, Holden made a weird gesture and looked upwards and right. Homura didn't really react to that. "But it must also seem really lonely when you're unable to share these expressions with others…"

Happiness, being in love… Homura thought. By her nature Madoka didn't really push herself to some of those extremes.

"Eventually we have lonely people, sad people that don't want to share their expressions because they think it'd just be a burden on others," Holden said with a dry smile. "Isn't that stupid? But I wouldn't give in to all of that. I started out by being angry at things instead of being sad, and then I started laughing and doing inappropriate so I'd be the winner while everyone else in the room was disturbed."

"Heh," Homura forced a thoughtful smile. "That sounds pretty stupid."

"I meant what I said about humanity and trust, but in the end you must think I'm a real hypocrite, aren't I?" Holden asked. "I look at people from a distance and can hardly actually get along with them…"

"I don't blame you," Homura said. "Maybe it's better to think that way than to just admit you're lonely and isolated from everyone else…"

"Homura…" Holden started. "Do you think that people are just to be used as platforms for other people and that in the end everyone takes a lonely path to self-actualization?" Homura wasn't sure how to respond to that. "I think that's the mature way to look at that… Let some people go, survive another day so you could be a better person." Homura remembered what Zusa had said in the dream about identity not being fixed. "But as I said before love overwhelms logic every time, doesn't it? That's why as much as I want you to be happy and overcome challenges, I can't really blame you for being where you are at the moment."

"Love… It's important to stay, isn't it?" Homura asked. "People need to have families."

"Yes, but it also ties you down, well…" Holden started. "I'm going to sound egotistical and pretentious, but I always felt like there was too much conformity around me. I mean I understood that there would be an average and a set of standard deviations, but I felt that people weren't fully embracing their natures or creating their own identities… I thought it was better to die with the capacity to reason and to be self-aware than to be consumed in the thoughts of one of the mobs that would later be read about in history. I mean, students would read about it all the time, how humans chained and tortured themselves when they thought it was too necessary to conform… But really, does it make that much sense to die for your beliefs?"

"Conformity is a betrayal," Homura said after chewing her food. "Independence is a betrayal… Time is a betrayal. I guess that clarifies why you'd want your family to die like lions."

"Well then," Holden said. "Once upon a time I really believed that words could help people, and logic could find those right words. But in the end logic is really just a method – aren't those strongest passions very much arbitrary things? I grew up trusting no one as I saw all the lies and betrayals, all the cowardice in the adult world. I was prepared to die an early and honest death, hated by everybody before I found you… Well, I guess you could say I learned a lot of things. Even though you'd probably put a bullet through my head if that was the only way for your happy end with Madoka, I finally felt those innate urges of provide and protect come to full fruition. Homura… Homura-chan, you're actually quite a sensitive person, aren't you?"

Homura looked away, a bit embarrassed. "You could say that… You are too, I'm guessing."

"Heh," Holden said. "In the school I went to they wouldn't really let boys be boys. Our sports teams were pretty unimpressive, fights and trash talk weren't allowed and men were portrayed as the main aggressors in relationships and main sexual predators… This is sort of another issue, but do you think that the innate male nature is a bad thing? That we've gone through generations of humanity with men raping and oppressing women? I was really uncomfortable about who I was and what I wanted, but hey, Homura-chan, do you think me loving you in this way is really such a bad thing…?"

Homura observed Holden's figure. The young man could take hundreds of bullets ripping apart his body without wincing, but at the moment he just seemed extremely vulnerable. "…No," Homura said. "No, I don't." Holden looked a little pleased with Homura's response. The two were almost done with dinner.

"In any case, I'm sorry I brought up all this stuff," Holden said. "You weren't speaking up, I mean."

"…It's fine," Homura said as she finished her food and wiped her lips. "It's nice to interact with… someone that cares about me." Another silence passed between the two. "Hey, Holden… You must've thought that you were worthless and that society just wanted you to die for it and that it was your fault you couldn't be pleased with that, right?" The statement "women and children first" flashed in Homura's mind.

"Heh," Holden said. "At the end of the day no matter how talented I was, the real me was too wild and unruly to happily do any job that society expected of me… I didn't like authority and didn't like conformity and didn't like controlling others either. I had weird enough friends but I couldn't get close enough to them When I met you I finally felt that maybe, just maybe being with another human was more than all of that, maybe I could be happy in love, happy with another person…"

Homura paused for a bit before swiftly taking her plate and bringing it over to the sink. Despite all of Holden's different personality quirks and his different experiences and his gender, he really isn't that different from me after all, Homura thought. And it was more in that fundamental shared human way that he liked to talk about…

Hold it! Homura's mind said to her as she opened the bathroom door and looked into the mirror. Was she sure that they weren't just both desperate and seeing things? But if she didn't accept these feelings wouldn't she either just die being frustrated with Madoka or die alone in anger? Homura didn't find her life worthy enough to live for its own sake even if in an emergency situation many grown men would be abandoned for people like her.

Homura threw herself on her bed again and sighed as Holden knocked on the door. "Come in," Homura said and the dragon man came in and began spinning on the swivel chair playfully. "Hey, Holden… Love at first sight doesn't exist, does it?"

"I don't like speaking in absolutes, but generally speaking that sort of stuff doesn't happen," Holden said. "In my case with you it started out as a thought experiment and habitual masturbation to be honest, but it grew to this point… I guess you'll have to forgive me for that. Budding feelings just spring forth though, you know? Even if it's not at first sight, once you know a certain amount about a person, you just can't help but love them more and more."

"At this stage do you expect me to love you back?" Homura asked. "I think there's too much to know and too many unpleasant things about you."

Holden shrugged. "Knowing about someone isn't that much about what they went through in life… It's how they want to act in your presence, how they live their lives at the moment. Their dreams and friendships, those quirks in their personalities… You can't put really describe in specific who a person really is as they're always changing, but I do hope I'll be able to act in a way that can win your feelings, Homura-chan."

"You're… really too honest and too aware about all of this," Homura said. "If you didn't say all of this you'd feel like you were deceiving me, but you're the type that doesn't want to deceive anyone it seems. Have you ever thought about just being hit on the head and being dumbed down a bit?"

"Heh," Holden chuckled. "I always thought I was born this way for a reason, a reason that didn't involve fancy intellectual parties with classy suits and expensive wine. I really… I really do wish to use who I am to love you more, Homura, but so far I'm still being narcissistic."

"Well, as you said, I wasn't really speaking up…" Homura started. "That hug you gave me last night… You were really warm. Really big and warm."

"The average man is that big and warm," Holden said, a bit embarrassed. "Or the average lion."

"It must hurt to think about it all the time," Homura said. "At first I thought you were annoying, but you really can't control your thought patterns at times, can you? To think all of this strength and warmth becomes scattered by violence and misfortune, manipulated by doubt and hatred…"

"I get used to it and laugh it off," Holden admitted. "This world is cruel and beautiful and chaotic, but it's the world with Homura-chan, so I have a reason to stay… I keep noticing random things but my thoughts begin to stay with you, my mind feels safe with you even if overall I'm a psychological mess… Although many times it didn't work out. Many times I didn't feel good enough for you, or felt guilty about the fact that I would keep aging and grow up and the way people looked at me… But even then it was all worth it."

"…Sort of like how it was with Madoka," Homura said as she lied down on her pillow. "You also kept those soft feelings hidden one way or another as you went out in public, didn't you?" Homura paused. "But even if we share so many things I don't think I can properly love you and Madoka at the same time… I'm not sure how I should put this. I'll think this all through…"

Homura stared at the blank white ceiling as Holden gave her the needed moment of silence, which started to drag on for minutes. "Forget Madoka," that clever voice spoke in her head. "She's a good girl but she doesn't understand that she's being too selfless. Now this guy, this dragon vampire guy is where it's at. You're comfortable with him, aren't you? You share more important things with him than status and gender, don't you?"

He's riskier, Homura thought to herself. Madoka is always Madoka and always a good person. Holden is borderline crazy…

"You're borderline crazy!" the voice laughed. "Do you really think that that's who you are after all this time, a good girl that would be paired with Madoka? Just like Holden you give the finger to the laws, to reason and chance, to fairness all for the sake of your love! You can still live a happy life with him and indulge in innocent pleasures even if your life won't be good or pure… You've forgotten about those lame schoolgirl ideals long ago, haven't you?" As Homura considered all these viewpoints she wondered what it would be like to sleep in Holden's arms and snuggle with that broad, warm chest.

"Come here to help me with my three meals of the day," Homura said as she finally sat up after a long period of thinking. "I won't make such unreasonable demands once I think things through a bit more. I just need more time…"

"I got it," Holden said with a warm smile. For the rest of the night Homura began to do her homework while Holden would just hang out in her room. The evening ended with the young man tucking Homura in and giving another good night hug and kiss.

Homura had mixed feelings as the week went on as she received better breakfasts and bentos because of Holden's presence. She remembered everything she had sacrificed and done for Madoka, and wondered if that was who she really wanted to be – was she just trapped? But certainly there was the perspective that everyone was trapped no matter what they did… Homura had wanted to make herself out to be sure of herself and strong, but she wondered if anyone in the world was really like that.

"Reasoning is only possible if you have the time to do so," Holden said as the two ate dinner together with the young man looked out the window. "And in the end if you think rationally you'd be crawling at a snail's pace… If our end goal was just to survive and reproduce that would simplify things, but the emotional lives of human beings are both fragile and complex. I guess it can't hurt to look at reason out of the corner of your eye, I guess."

"…You say you want to help me, but you never give me any specific advice," Homura said. "At first I thought you were just playing games… But in the end do you really trust me to make my own decisions?"

"I try to be the least manipulative as possible," Holden replied as he looked back to Homura. "Maybe some people would give up or just don't have the proper situation… But I do believe that you can step forwards and heal, Homura-chan."

"Do you believe my love for Madoka is stunting my own growth?" Homura asked.

Holden shrugged. "It is if neither of you are willing to change perspectives… I don't know. When I was in middle school I was really weak, much like you originally were. There were so many disturbing things in the grown-up world, after all. I thought that for sure I'd die or go completely insane while young, but I guess add a bit of luck and here I am still alive. It's the same with you I believe… People can change a lot."

"I really got too used to looping time though," Homura said. "But even then you wouldn't find that a problem for me, would you? I can see so much warmth and tenderness in you sometimes, but from what I've seen weren't you an experienced fighter for a really long time?"

"…I'm not exactly sure how my psyche processes it," Holden explained. "Before I left my home state there wasn't much, and then it was street fighting and it went from there. I learned to fire a gun but in the end I still prefer to get up close and personal… Most of the people I had to fight were men my size, and although I didn't discriminate amongst women I'd always be more gentle with children. It's a real shame, but I guess one way I think about it is the fighting would've all been in vain if I ended up moping about it. Maybe I can't take pride in the things I did, but I can be proud that I got stronger I guess."

"…That's not really the case," Homura said. "I'm not really sure how strong I am. Maybe that's how people want to portray me, but I've had those sorts of fantasies… Thinking about just sinking a bullet into my skull or just ending it all with an explosion."

"I became less suicidal over time," Holden explained. "In any case I don't think my vampire part would be fine with a suicide attempt. Sometimes it feels like wherever you are, there's just too much to see in the world to commit suicide. Although many of those things you'd like to see would be near-death experiences…"

"Even if you could never be with your beloved?" Homura asked. Holden looked a bit uneasy about answering that question.

"Don't always rush to satisfy that loving urge," Holden advised. "Sometimes it's better not to push it, and many things you see along the way will help you find that answer that you're looking for. I'd like to think that given time everything will eventually happen."

"Doesn't it all seem stupid though?" Homura asked. "No matter what we're saying it doesn't seem sure or right – we're sort of only saying it to make ourselves feel better."

"Well then, at least eat your dinner," Holden said. "I want to at least know that my Homura is eating enough."

After dinner, Homura took a shower and began to think of all that had happened this week. Holden was a weird creep no matter how she looked at it, but for some reason his presence was comforting. When Homura would have nothing to say the dragon man would bring up topics like how if the sky was a certain shade of blue, different people would choose different colors of blue when they drew it or about all the little ridges and lines in some randomly patterned walls or ceilings. Had Homura ignored the world around her for too long and failed to notice all those strange, beautiful things?

But even then, you could still criticize the fact that Holden was more interested in random patterns of the physical and mental world rather than having nice conversations with people. Or was that really that bad? Maybe certain people didn't know the pleasant things to say or do, but they still had minds and lives.

Homura looked up at the shower ceiling, deep in thought. Madoka had been that sort of pleasant schoolgirl and pleasant magical girl that she had looked up to. To be someone different though, surely she could still be happy? Madoka had a strong personality that would stick through all of her troubles, but didn't Homura just change too much to be by her beloved's side?

"Can you tell me your real name?" Homura asked Holden as the two hung out in Homura's bedroom. "As in the name your parents gave you…"

"Andy, but no one's actually called me that for a while," Holden said. "It's not short for Andrew either, plus I had no middle name…"

"Andy. It's a lot easier to deal with than most American names," Homura said. "Although I don't want to put much stress on the second syllable… What's the name you're mostly known as? Cando-something?"

"Candor Shade," Holden said. "Candor is a synonym for honesty in the English language, and you know what shade means. I had come up with that name quite a while ago and felt too lazy to change it. But people have also just called me the dragon man."

"I think I might use Andy from now on," Homura said. "It's the easiest to say, after all. I'm guessing English names don't mean anything?"

"The 'an' was also part of my Chinese given name which means quiet or peaceful, but I guess it's ironic how I didn't really live up to that…" Holden said. "I don't know, I'm not that fond of purposely causing trouble but that stuff happens anyways. In any case, it's odd that your parents would give you such a special name and then sort of abandon you here… Or is Homura not your real name?"

"It is," Homura said. A short silence passed between the two. "Don't take this the wrong way, but could we sleep together tonight? I'm just sort of curious on how that would feel…"

Holden blinked, a bit surprised. "Okay, but expect me to do quite a bit of hugging. You could just use a heated body pillow if you don't want that…" As expected, Homura thought. This person didn't really give a damn about common decency and all that.

Bedtime came, and even though Holden didn't look tired he went along and got on the single futon first. Homura didn't like how he assumed that she would be sharing the futon but it was what she had in mind anyways. As she softly pressed against the young man she wondered if she was putting her hand in a lion's mouth, but felt that Holden had enough self-restraint. Holden just looked up at the ceiling while Homura closed her eyes and started to drift off to sleep. Soon enough, a pair of warm arms began to wrap around Homura's slim body.

"Arrgh!" Homura yelled as she snapped open her eyes, frustrated and beating Holden's chest. They weren't hard hits in any case, but the man did look quite emotionally wounded. "I kept living for Madoka, and yet I'm starting to love you…" Tears started to form in Homura's violet eyes. "You're a perverted creepy crazy dragon man, and yet… Why are you so comfortable and warm? I was really afraid that time you know…! I didn't see you as human when my bullets kept tearing you apart and you kept coming at me, but why can't I share these feelings with anyone else?! Why?!" Homura continued to beat Holden's chest before the young man stayed her arms gently and embraced her in another gentle hug. "I'm sorry. This isn't the proper thing to do when sleeping with someone, right?"

"…It's okay," Holden said. "I'd rather see those honest emotions on your beautiful face…" That being said, Homura began to beat at Holden's chest again before she finally calmed down. "I'll get some tissues," Holden said as he got up from the futon and walked over to the desk. He handed the entire box over to Homura and helped her clean up all the tears and mucus.

"And even now this is what you want," Homura said as she blew her nose and resisted her urge to hit Holden. "Can't you help me in a way that makes more sense?"

"Coming to terms with who you are never makes much sense," Holden said as he disposed of some of the used tissues. "Maybe if I could see more I would be able to know all of the variables required to make a person happy, but in the end even if that person feels happy… I still feel that sort of process is too cold and improper. Maybe I'm being arbitrary, but I don't think either logic or magic will guarantee anything." As Homura threw away her last tissues she allowed Holden to hug her and press her against his chest again. She couldn't think of anything right to say – indeed, Homura had always been bad at expressing feelings. In the end, she wasn't sure why, but she drifted off into sleep faster than usual as she rested on Holden's chest.


	6. Justifications

Justifications

Homura had tossed and turned many times in her sleep, but woke up in Holden's arms relatively comfortable. Holden seemed to have been looking over her in the case she was going to wake up, which was kind of sweet yet kind of creepy. Homura got up and shook off her drowsy state, heading to the bathroom to face all of her emotions. She had thought that she was testing him when in fact she had been testing herself by bringing up this situation so soon.

At least she could sort of pride herself on her emotional discipline, Homura thought. Holden had told her to be more honest, but in general she should have limited her expressions to at least maintain some sort of maturity. Perhaps this emotional reaction was natural – Even if it didn't seem at all sexual or even romantic, just that feeling of warmth and that large body under her really brought feelings to Homura's heart… In any case, it was a Sunday, so they would have plenty of time to sort matters out.

"I'm sorry for hitting you last night," Homura said as she prepared a traditional Japanese breakfast with Holden. "I know that you're going to say it's fine, but it's really not something I should be doing." Homura paused for a bit, feeling an odd hesitation before saying the other thing she wanted to say. "It might just be me, but have you done that whole sleeping thing with other girls?"

"…Well," Holden faltered for a bit as he was washing the fish before dropping it into the pan. "It was only around three or four, and they were all during that time when I didn't remember you," If you love me, you should always remember me, Homura thought for a split second. "In any case, it wasn't just casual sex but I don't think I was in any sort of relationship by today's standards… I guess I just didn't decide on abstinence until true love or something like that, but I don't think babies got involved. I thought that stuff would never come for me… And here I am with some important memories back."

"It's fine," Homura said, although she and Holden were still felt a bit uneasy. "Zusa did say you're currently around fifty after all, didn't she? I wouldn't understand how it'd be for a male either…"

"No need to reference such a group when dealing with an individual," Holden replied, though still a bit ashamed. "There are potential problems, I know. I don't think Zusa would be a conscious culprit but everyone's memories could have been messed with and your attraction to me could be because I'm part-vampire…" Homura continued cooking in silence as all the concerns continued to hover around in the air.

"You know, Homura," Holden said as he ate his breakfast at the dining table. "Regardless of the situation, living with another human being isn't going to be an easy task… Maybe I can only speak from observation, but I'm sure even friendly people get grouchy sometimes when they have to share a room or house. Everyone has their different ways and different times of doing their daily habits, and different ways of organizing things too… Stuff like that can just get on your mind on a bad day…"

"Don't worry," Homura assured, unsure of why she was leaving some issues blank. "I wouldn't make a fuss out of trivial things like that…"

"Even if you don't make a fuss, do bring it up or you'll end up frustrated," Holden said. "That I speak from experience… School and college life probably would've been a lot more comfortable for me if I had just exchanged a few small favors with the people I had to deal with, but I had always perceived myself to be a retard in the field of social intelligence and didn't want to be taken advantage of or misunderstood."

The man wasn't lying there, Homura noticed. Although Holden tried to structure all his sentences logically, he hardly had proper social tact. In fact, even though Holden had said that he had fought back against Homura's shower of bullets because he didn't want to be a punching bag, he would probably let her bash him with her fists every night as she whined and cried about things. "I got it," Homura said. "You aren't too messy, right?"

"With the exception of socks which I usually pick up for laundry clothing doesn't really end up on the floor," Holden said. "Papers and tools and miscellaneous stuff get pretty messy on a desk for me no matter how small it is though. I don't leave an explicit trail of food or slime around me but as I said don't expect everything to be dirt-free, you know? How about I just get a dirty place to keep my stuff in?"

"I'm not that clean myself," Homura admitted. "I sort of think my movements are robotic rather than elegant nowadays, and if something was organized it was because it was for Madoka or because I barely touched it. When I was a magical girl I didn't really care much for chores, you know?"

"Regardless, getting my own dirty space might be a good ground rule," Holden said. "I'll gradually clean up over time, as I'm sure you'd prefer that." It seemed that was it to Holden's suggestions.

"Is that it?" Homura asked.

"…I'm sorry if I jumped to conclusions," Holden said. "Don't invite me to stay here if you don't really want me to, but I was sort of picking up cues and all…"

"Forget all these issues," Homura suddenly said. That's right, Madoka had cared too much about rules and principles, and if Holden was really a different person… "Is this really what you think of when you say you're in love with me?"

"Homura…" Holden started. "Do you really think that you have an ultimate salvation?" Homura didn't want to let the man go create a philosophical circle again, but if she cut him off it would disrupt the flow of the entire conversation. "I'm still really considering whether this is the best for you. Maybe you feel you had a debt to repay Madoka for, or that Madoka's love wasn't proper reciprocation of yours. Even then, wouldn't it perhaps be better to live as a normal schoolgirl and have normal friends – okay, including the magical girl stuff – and eventually find a better person than me?" Holden did have a point. After all, Homura's feelings were what had gotten her into this mess.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Homura asked.

"Perhaps not," Holden admitted. "But what I'm trying to say is that even a normal schoolgirl's life will surely have issues… I honestly don't think there's a road that will always be coming across nothing but happiness and salvation. Even if it works out and you're happy with me, in the end you're still risking all the negative sides of love as you reap the positive. And sometimes I feel luck does pay a huge role in it… I just think this sort of needs pointing out, I mean."

As crazy as the dragon man was, he knew he couldn't protect his princess from everything. "You're definitely over-thinking things," Homura said.

"Well then what's the philosophy you've been living by?" Holden asked, his deep voice commanding some respect. "Most humans are simply divided into the majority that are supporters of their own groups and only listen to their own groups' morals and reasons, and those that see the bullshit in every human creation on Earth and laugh at and manipulate each other as they go into hedonistic sprees. Some devote their lives to the pursuits of logic and truth and try to see both sides of everything, but it's quite crazy to think that individual love should rule over everything else and deem what's right…"

"You have a similar approach of life even when thinking rationally, don't you?" Homura asked.

"…That's right," Holden admitted. "I'm not qualified to be a moral judge on such complicated manners. I guess in my case it's just me wanting to get away from a mad world. If we look at things from the logical, objective viewpoint, the most impressive things on Earth are just collections of variables… Only a certain amount of love can make those variables turn into something precious, even though love's mores aren't set in stone. Really, how unromantic am I?"

"Andy," Homura called Holden by his given name and taking one of his hands. "I remember during our earliest meetings it was just all about something about trusting human nature or whatnot, and then recently you said that you were too skeptical to trust many people in the first place… Even yourself. Sure, maybe it's in your nature to over-think at an abnormal capacity, but I think you should learn to accept and trust your emotional side, even if it has gotten you into a lot of trouble since you were born… Maybe your curiosity and love for certain ideas may numb that dull pain of existence sometimes, but I think you can do more with your heart… As you said, there are risks though, but I'm willing to take it, and so should you."

Holden paused for a bit, looking a bit flattered and stunned before pulling back embarrassedly. "As always, I'm not a paternalistic person and I can't resist such a gesture… Fine then, I guess I'll be moving in."

Homura followed Holden on the walk back to his apartment, as it wasn't long by any means. In total there really wasn't that much stuff to move – just a collection of books and papers and kitchen things. The bed and scarce furniture were mostly left as Holden shoved the stuff into the truck of his car.

"So, are you used to making fake identities for these adventures or whatever?" Homura asked.

"A lot of the places I've been to had anonymous inns and such," Holden explained. "There were portable tents and sleeping bags too, but in the worst scenarios I could just sleep on the streets or in the wild with my powers… I don't have a photographic memory but it'd still be a really long story if I want to say everything." The young man got into the driver's seat and Homura sat next to him in the passenger seat. "Sleeping together was really nice for me too, you know…" As the car began moving Holden thought of a few things to say. "You know, this isn't the same scenario as you've been in for a long time. You're not sacrificing yourself anymore. Maybe some romance stories want to make love all about that, but when you're alone, don't let your feelings make you gloomy or infatuated or distracted. Take care of yourself for your own sake… I sort of speak from experience, you know." Homura stayed silent as she looked out the window trying to get her thoughts into order. "Of course it will take some time for that. In the end, other people can give you advice or tips, but it's up to you to get the motivation to improve your life."

"You say something that made sense for once," Homura noticed as Holden noticed a red light and pulled to a stop. For a former adventurer and dragon man Holden drove pretty responsibly. "I guess you must really love me to be able to do that, huh?"

Holden shrugged. "In any case, I'm still not good at going against my innate natures. I try to make room for flexible habits instead of simply following rules, even if most people are good at the latter." Soon enough, the pair was back at Homura's apartment, and it looked like Holden was doing the normal way of moving things in by bringing a cart. Unloading everything and setting things up was pretty quiet work, as the places Holden wanted to move his stuff to didn't seem totally unreasonable. "I usually didn't have any possessions when I went out adventuring," Holden said. "When our family moved I figured that even if you just buy things from time to time or buy the average amount of furniture that really becomes troublesome when it comes time to move… Well, what now?"

"I don't know," Homura said. "It feels like you have a lot of experience entertaining yourself, but not other people… Well, I'm not really good at either of those."

"The main thing is that I figure there's a lot more things to say before I actually dip myself into any romantic scenes," Holden said as he walked around the room. "What do you think of when you think of a happy couple? As in, the stuff you'd want…"

"…I guess mainly there's stuff I don't think of," Homura said. "Going to parties and getting drunk or playfully teasing each other wouldn't do for me. Besides that, maybe just going out to dinner or a walk in the park and doing just about everything together and helping each other. I can't really think of lovey-dovey conversations though."

"In that case we're pretty similar," Holden observed as he stopped in his tracks. "I don't know if there's anything in particular you actually like about me or if it's just the vampire stuff doing its work. But even after all these years, even if I have my physical strength and can use magic, emotionally I sometimes just feel weak… That's a warning I suppose, but perhaps love just sort of makes you realize those weak parts of you." Holden suddenly walked into Homura's room and brought out the swivel chair and spun on it. "I think identity is more than the things you've done and the memories you've made, but there are just some things about me that might make me be seen in a bad light."

"You shouldn't be uncomfortable telling me about your life though," Homura said, but she couldn't really say much to egg Holden on. "I think I've said what I've had to say about mine. Just go on…"

"I'm so self-absorbed I've thought of and said these things so many times though," Holden said. "I guess just one of the pathetic things about my life is that I was afraid of facing daddy issues. He was just an emotionally distant person I think, and around when I was in middle school he began feeling empty and wanted to fulfill his dream of making some computer programs. It didn't work out for him, and just around twelve maybe I subconsciously decided that if I pushed myself hard enough, I could achieve greatness on my own, but I aimed for the subjective and messy field of literature instead… I was the kind of kid that just wasn't interested in most things around me but had the time to think and imagine since I could usually finish schoolwork fast."

"Geez, your rants are long, aren't they?" Homura asked. "But I guess this will make it all seem a little less pathetic in perspective."

"Maybe," Holden replied. "Anyways around that time the internet came in. You probably didn't have the time or interest for it but I was curious enough to get immersed into the plethora of crazy ideas as I began to spend more time on the computer. So many people put so much effort into pointless things… Even through college it was all a distraction. I don't know, I was curious about the things that made the least sense and I just lost motivation for school. I didn't even watch that much TV but I always had the idea that friendship was serious and I couldn't focus on many friends gathered for simple reasons. I ended up facing a series of lectures from both parents, but from my dad much of the love I got was him telling me how much money it took to support me and all the rules I had to follow. I went back to attempts at writing original stories and decided that I lived to be the opposite of my dad… I would never abandon my dreams or my friendships, and had no time for the fleeting love and crushes I was frustrated with. But it was middle school, then high school, everyone ended up perfectly fitting into a social box and I just wanted to explode and run away and show the world my greatness… It's really hard to sympathize with me for all of these pathetic reasons, isn't it?"

"Don't say stuff like that," Homura said. "I think it's both interesting and wonderful… How someone that could withstand his limbs being ripped off could also get hurt like that…" Homura remembered both the sensitivity and strength Madoka had shown in the many different timelines.

"Overall it felt like the world was telling me to make up for my existence," Holden said. "I had an older brother that did quite a lot and became too cool and busy to hang out with. Maybe my parents had wanted a daughter, and there wasn't much room to discuss male sexual health. I also wanted to be a hero, I wanted to find some moral truth so that humans could live a bit better. People just followed groups and orders, you know? At the same time I thought I'd always just be a kid and a rebel and I'd just find some friend and travel the messed-up world together and go on adventures. When I found you it was completely different from the loves of the past. I think in the past, my dad really loved my mom and maybe his children for our first few years, but eventually he kept to himself and worked with programs and housework and bought gadgets. It was the responsible thing to do to stay together for the kids, but I didn't want everything to be morals and responsibilities. I would never abandon my dreams or my friendships, and wouldn't abandon this greatest love of mine or abandon a child. You were the first I thought of marrying and living together with, along with all the physical intimacy. By that time I was sixteen and heading into 11th grade…" Holden stopped for a bit.

"That's not all, is it?" Homura asked. "Were your feelings really that strong – that you thought the meaning of your life was to live for a cartoon character?"

"They sure were," Holden said. "It all came into conflict and schoolwork got screwed up again. I wanted to love like you did… I guess I'm a bit selfish like that but I wanted to give you the luxury of being weak, to fall into the arms of someone bigger than you, to protect and provide like my innate instincts told me to. At the same time being crazy starving artist was all I had accomplished, and at the same time I was just a boy that spent too much time on lame jokes, video games and fapping…. And freaking overprotective-ass yuri fanbase gave me shit and I accepted it… After all, a man's love wasn't as pure and I was becoming a dirty pedophile even if I wanted to make you so happy so much. Again and again though, the same fantasies and same despair. At eighteen I got more motivation to start improving myself because some things I just didn't want to change, but in the end it was still greatness or nothing.

"In the college dorm halls people smoke, drank and had sex, it was all so distracting as I enjoyed my own drug of lolicon. That was when I finally took up martial arts… Figured I'd choose Chinese because of my blood and Baji because there were less people learning it and it looked more dynamic. When I saw the continuation to your story and your transformation into the Lucifer figure, that sort of love awakened in me again… The feeling that I needed to protect you and I was the only one for you even if that wasn't the case, and the feeling that I'd share your corrupted love as well… Well, I lost my memory and became part vampire before I could deal with the troubles of disease or old age, and here I am now." There was a lengthy silence as Holden rested his chin on the back of the swivel chair. Finally, Homura walked over to Holden and embraced him with her small frame.

Holden hugged back gently, but with strength. "I love you," he said, the emotion coming out in his voice. "I love you…"

"…Whenever you open your mouth I'm reminded of how different we are, or maybe that we're just different people," Homura said as she moved her hands down to Holden's chest. "But when I feel you here… Andy, I know that you're the same." Homura withdrew from the young man and looked at him with gentle eyes. "In a life full of crowds of people and rules… In a life where men are the masses doing the killing and dying and being blamed for trying to live, you must have thought that all you are is disposable, right?"

"Perhaps it's because you have that weakness I want to protect," Holden said. "You're strong and misunderstood so you can hide it well, the fact that you're taking eons of endless pain… I still can only act on my own instincts though. I fell in love with your mind and your pain, not the fact that we're compatible with each other… I didn't want love to just be like a business, after all."

"Is it…?" Homura began. "Do you really want me to… well, be a child again?"

"I don't know," Holden admitted. "But I want you to show the different sides of your nature, other than the feelings telling you that you're a human sacrifice or that you should be sacrificed for."

"And with you too," Homura noticed. "You don't feel human because you're alone and lost in your thoughts too often while people blame you for being who you are… It doesn't matter then, does it? Similarity and compatibility don't matter as long as we can find someone we can be human with…"

"Geez, love stories aren't supposed to be like this…" Holden said as he got off the swivel chair and stood to his full height.

"But we both don't care, it doesn't matter," Homura said. "Even if it's a love of natural passion or a love of loneliness it's still love. It doesn't have to be a love of compatibility or responsibility or properness… Trust your feelings. They'll never burn out."

A few minutes later, Holden and Homura began walking on a trail to a nearby park. They were both quiet most of the time, but after what had been said they both felt fine with that matter. Holden was part vampire, so those provide and protect instincts should never fade, and Homura would likely be kept in her youthful body as well. The couple began to hold hands, and even if it was just that something about it felt nice, to walk along another young and healthy body on a warm spring day.

Upon reaching a playground, Holden began to act pretty immature and started trying to go through all the structures and obstacles as if he was a little kid. This is just stupid, Homura thought with a smile as she walked up to Holden, who was trying to swing across the zip line. "I think I can do it," Homura said, and she took the swinging handle from Holden and swung back and forth across the line.

"I think climbing the bars and structures improperly is the best part of the playground though," Holden said. "Although they wouldn't trust children with a big jungle gym nowadays, much less natural trees with all their nice branches… To be honest, I was quite a coward when I was little though."

Homura dropped from the line and noticed a couple of little kids running across the playground. "I wonder how suspicious you looked right now. Aside from the fact that you're with a middle school student, it seemed like you were jealous and trying too hard. Well, I also always feel like normal kids have a lot of fun."

"I can only remember events that happened before adolescence," Holden said. "Feelings, not so much. But it's amazing, isn't it? I mean our size difference is already notable, but when you think that people once started out so small…"

"Most Japanese women aren't much taller than me," Homura said. "And I think your height is fine… Let's keep following this trail, shall we?" Homura took Holden's hand again and the couple resumed their walk among the trail.

"Ooh! Exercise stops!" Holden exclaimed as he saw pull-up bars among other things along other things at the side of the trail. "Ehh… Looks like I'll have to take the highest one. Wonder what NBA players would do in this sort of situation."

"Did you ever want to have bulging muscles?" Homura asked as she got under a lower pull-up bar. "I mean I think there's a limit before they just sort of start to look silly…"

"Ehh, I'd like to think that I have skinny muscles, and being part vampire would prevent fair scores in something like this as I don't tire out," Holden said. Homura stood under the shorter bar silently. "…I don't know, I'm just wondering how many pull-ups you can do. I promise I won't make fun of you."

"I probably can't do many without magic," Homura said as she glanced at her thin limbs. "Although I did have to get used to firing guns designed for grown men, and throwing bombs far enough as well…" Homura jumped up and took the bar, and in the course of several seconds did three and struggled with her fourth.

"Hey, hey, that's good," Holden commented. Homura had a rather defensive look on her face as she dropped to the ground. "I don't know about your school but many girls and grown women in America can't even do one. We'd allow jumping pull-ups or arm bands… Plus you have such thin limbs."

"I guess you're going to show off now though," Homura said. "Go ahead and do it then."

Holden took the bar and began doing pull-ups one after another. He stopped around twenty, his form not breaking and not looking tired at all. "After fifteen and a half I could always manage ten pull-ups which was above average, but my push-up score wasn't as impressive maybe for psychological reasons…" Homura still looked kind of mad at the whole situation. "Hey, grab on to my back and see how many I can do. Arms and legs, my shoulders need to be free for this." Upon hearing that, Homura just stood there stupefied for a little while longer. "Oh come on, they do wacky things like this in slice-of-life anime all the time. All hail Hurr-hi!"

"Okay then," Homura said reluctantly as Holden leaned over and the girl hugged the young man's chest and swung her legs around his hips. "Will this do?"

"You're not shy about your grip, which is good," Holden said as he jumped up and caught the bar. "As expected, you're really light… Anyways!" Holden started doing these weird sets of pull-ups, and Homura shook a bit jostling awkwardly. After around ten, Holden dropped to the ground, his face more flushed than Homura's. "You could lighten up a bit, you know?" The young man laughed nervously.

"Sorry," Homura said as she looked away for a bit. "I'm just not comfortable when I think of people that sacrifice themselves and like to be depended on. I thought if we were in a relationship we'd share more things and be more equal than if I was with Madoka, but it's not entirely so, is it…? Even if you really can't die, I still don't like it."

"…Believe me, your warm smile is enough to repay any debts that you might end up owing to me," Holden said as he walked back onto the trail. "There was a period of time where I was ready for that relationship of slavery and sacrifice, and I guess I still am, but overall I'm glad you don't want that… What's a guy like me going to do with more weapons or more money?"

"I was like that for a long time too, but in the end wouldn't you just… snap?" Homura asked as she walked alongside Holden on the trail. "I don't know about if your blood is able to heal your psyche too, but I wouldn't bet on it."

"There are always those gloomy possibilities," Holden admitted as the clouds drifted above the couple. "Even though it's something I would like to give you, I can't guarantee eternity, and in the end neither could you… I just want to restore trust in humanity, perhaps. After all, if someone like me could bring you happiness, then many of your friends and those around you should be reliable too if the worst case happens…"

"For yourself though," Homura said as she looked up at the young man. "From what you've said you seem really bad at taking care of yourself and not interested in many things, but you still want this so bad. It's almost as if you've been wired to just throw away your life for love."

"And earlier today you were saying that I should trust my emotions more," Holden said. "When it comes down to your emotions, don't you actually want this?"

"…Sorry then," Homura said as she diverted her gaze again. "I might've just been ashamed after that dumb pull-up thing."

After that exchange, Homura loosened up a bit as she and Holden explored some of the other exercise courses. "You're flexible and your vaults are really graceful," Holden observed as he began using a pole to practice his Baji, ramming into it with his shoulders and chest. "Oh yeah, I didn't really get your weight down either."

"43-45 kg," Homura said as she made one final vault over the slanted bar and landed on her feet swiftly. "You could probably pick me up with one arm, I know."

"43 kilograms…" Holden muttered as he stepped away from the pole he was practicing with. "Is that around 95 pounds? I'm around 160 pounds which might be 72 or so kilograms? I hope I wouldn't crush your body in some positions then…"

"That just seems really heavy to me," Homura admitted. "Maybe that's around average in the United States but… Sorry, I keep thinking of all these scenarios. I wouldn't be able to go very fast while carrying your body if I needed to. Do you really need that much weight?"

"Eh," Holden shrugged. "Bruce Lee was only 135 pounds, but most athletes these days would measure over 200. I'll have to admit there were fat and chubby people I've fought but some were also ripped with muscles… Of course it doesn't help them if they only use it clumsily."

The odd couple visited other places for the rest of the day. At a clothing store they stumbled upon an aisle for cosplay and weird clothes in general. Homura thought they would just look and imagine, but soon enough Holden was dashing into the changing stalls and came out in all sorts of weird costumes. Homura giggled. "You actually don't look bad in those."

"Your turn then," Holden said with a devious smile. "Maid costume, vocaloids, other frilly dresses! I'm not really into skin leakage but you know, that stuff's the best!"

"Alright then…" Homura said shyly, and when she came out with the first maid costume, Holden's impatient expression immediately changed into one of adoration.

"H-Hurrffrriigughghha," Holden stammered as he walked around to observe Homura's outfit. "Perfect, perfect…!" Ah, whatever, Homura thought as she blushed. She would just make Holden make it up for her somehow. Although later when she came out with different outfits, she had to admit that she enjoyed it when Holden couldn't resist dashing forwards and hugging her.

The couple didn't buy any of the clothes, for none were really necessary. They ate at a restaurant sometime in the afternoon, and the last stop of the day was at a public library. "I'm still probably real pretentious about literature," Holden admitted. "If you look at most classics you just realize this modern stuff, visual, light, and teen novels especially, just doesn't compare."

"How so?" Homura asked as she opened up one of the random books.

"I think the first step is just a minimum amount of description," Holden said. "I prefer a logical and concrete style, but I can appreciate flowery language too. For example if I was constructing a sentence I would say 'Zusa turned her head, her twintails billowing slightly' before describing where our protagonist turned to in a good amount of detail too. Modern fiction might just say how the character turned to look at something and focus more on cultural social systems and dialogue. I would also try to alternate 'plain' sentences with ones that are joined by commas, even in dialogue… Impressive vocabulary or cultural references aren't necessary in my opinion, although I guess I do have a bias towards things with deeper themes… You know, actual deep themes that make stuff in pop culture look really shallow."

"I guess your pretentious ass wouldn't let you be a literary professor though?" Homura asked. "Oh well, I guess it's more understandable if the critic can actually hold up to his own standards, but egocentricity would play a huge manner in that. I thought classy people were supposed to be more refined and less nutty, or do you think that's excusable because they have such good intellectual taste and stuff?"

"Well I'm loose and forgiving when it comes to manners, but geniuses don't have the privilege to break moral laws for greater good," Holden admitted. "I never expected the world to support me and was prepared to die much younger or be brainwashed…"

"Crazy, crazy, you really are crazy," Homura said as she bumped Holden with her fist softly. "…It's just sort of who you turned out to be though," Homura said later in a gentler voice after putting her book back in the shelf. "Who knows what I might've become if I had that much free time in my childhood?"

The sun was setting on the way back, and although Holden and Homura had done much, they didn't do anything too tiring so they were still prepared to make dinner together. "…You know, many times in life I'd feel like I should trade lives with someone in a third-world country because they would do many better things with all of my privileges," Holden said. "It's not until now that the thought has actually completely faded…" Holden felt that statement would dissolve into the air until Homura spoke up a short while later.

"…You know, you certainly are crazy and egotistical and stuck in your own head," Homura noticed. "Along with the way you fought, I was really scared of you at first… But now I know that you really want to care for someone, and not in a disturbing manner either. That date of ours was actually really innocent compared to many things students do these days… It must've really hurt, the way people looked at you. I've felt the same."

"…Thank you," Holden said, the emotion visible on his face.

After eating dinner together, Homura showered and did her homework quite efficiently, as she had Holden by her side now. She cuddled up with Holden as she drifted off to sleep, this time more comfortable than yesterday night. "…I love you, Andy," she whispered. Maybe it was a bit soon to be saying that, but Homura felt that despite the many things she and Holden had been through, neither of them really had any dangerous or malevolent parts in their nature. If she was falling into another illusion, she didn't care by now.

* * *

"Want to go at it again?" Zusa asked as Andy panted from the strenuous sparring sessions he and Y-Homura had been asked to undertake.

"It really looks like she's just beating us with simple movements, doesn't it?" Andy asked as he tested his legs and got into fighting stance again. "Damn, this is all so humiliating…" Andy and Y-Homura had both been up against Zusa, and they both observed that just simple taps to the head were enough to throw them off balance. "So many subconscious rules I have to follow."

"Keep your guard up," Andy could hear Zusa's words in his head as he stepped up to spar. "Homura, start the timer." Keep your body bladed so you become a smaller target. Light on your toes, relaxed shoulders, chin tucked in… Damn it, as if anyone could memorize all that! What about just…!

Andy charged forwards blindly, trying to take down the twintailed girl, and Zusa just tossed him to the side by positioning herself and redirecting the force. After Andy collapsed onto the ground, he did as expected and got back up. Zusa almost sighed and started pummeling Andy's face with quick and soft punches before sending a heavy kick into his stomach to keep the boy stunned for good. Even then, Andy was struggling to get up from the ground to exact his revenge, tears forming in his eyes. "You're getting too heated. This isn't Spartan training and I can't have any trainees dying… Your nose is bleeding. I guess I'll have to take off some more bandages…"

"Sppttt!" Andy spit out the dripping blood and attempted to wipe the rest off with his hands. "I'm fine. This is only a tiny fraction of what the Spartans had to do, right?" The boy suddenly stopped fuming as Y-Homura came to his side with a handkerchief and some pocket tissues. "A handkerchief, really?" Andy asked, but he took the cloth anyways and started wiping off the outside blood before taking a few tissues and simply plugging up the bleeding nostril. "Alright, now I should be good to go in thirty seconds…" The boy tried to get up, but he was still hurting from Zusa's kick.

"…Here," Y-Homura said as she supported Andy with her shoulder and helped him over to the bathroom. The younger Homura had changed into a set of simple shorts and T-shirt for the most part by now, and her slim legs had gained some noticeable muscle.

Andy stepped into the bathroom and washed off all the dirty parts on his face, and also supposed that he should change sometimes soon as well. "It's just a bloody nose really, don't worry. I used to have these all the time in elementary school for no good reason." The boy stepped out of the bathroom shortly after, the frustration still evident in his eyes. "You know, I hate being privileged and spoiled, and I hate the fact that despite how it is I lose all the time. But I can't seem to get caught in daydreams and laziness…" Y-Homura was still mostly quiet, unaware of how to address Andy's issues.

"Um, I'll go get you some new clothes," Y-Homura said as Andy looked out his bloodied wad of tissue plug and replaced it with a new one, trying not to form an enormous clot.

"You need time to cool down," Zusa said as she walked up to Andy and just hung out for a while. "I understand that… You know, it's a bit embarrassing to say that I've gotten out of my fair share of pretty pickles with the help of deus ex anime-ish miracles, but in the end I still did practice often and hard work still is the best way… Isn't that so?"

"Can you bring our older selves here?" Andy asked. "I want to see if this is all really worth it." Zusa had been training the two at a temple-like place with electricity, kitchens, and running water that she had summoned somehow. "Although I suppose I still prefer this humiliating crap to the stuff I have to go through at school."

"Alright, but finish your lunch first," Zusa said as she noticed Y-Homura starting coming back with fresh clothes and water. "Homura told me you were moody all break and didn't eat enough."

"…Even if it seems like you're moody all the time for no reason," Y-Homura said as Andy ate the rest of his microwaved fried rice. "I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. Even if you are the type that doesn't try and do anything with me when we're alone in a room… Well, I actually like that, but certainly…"

"One day it'll be all worth it, so just wait until then, right?" Andy asked as he finished the remainder of fried rice. "Just bear all this pointless pain until then… Some mistakes are just stupid and unnecessary and they're still a part of me. I can't wait till Zusa brings our future selves back and we can see them in their twisted glory… Well, I for one am already twisted."

"I'm sure that's a soldier mentality," Holden said as he walked into the scene. "You'll likely come across your fair share of disturbing things on the internet and become extremely intrigued by then, but I'm not sure if a sense of disposability is really proper unless you're offering your life for the government."

Somehow, Holden ended up playing basketball with his younger self on one of the courts that had happened to be around while the two Homuras and Zusa stood at the side watching. "So the relationship has advanced to that stage already, has it?" the twintailed girl asked as Holden ruthlessly backed down his younger self and used his long arms to throw in an easy bucket. "Well, good luck with it. I can't really see myself as someone that could recommend the proper thing to do, but I've gotten into the habit of talking about weird things anyways."

"…You really don't know that much about him, do you?" Homura asked. Holden played defense lazily, but was still able to outreach Andy with his longer limbs and swat the ball away while hardly jumping.

"I can probably say he's shifted to completely relying on his instincts by now," Zusa commented. "He knows what he'll be getting into a pretty pickle if he makes a mistake, so I don't think I need warnings for him… As for you, you became quite an unpredictable person after all those time loops, so I can't even guess what you'd do if something went wrong. I can only say that you'd probably embody the maxim of 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'."

"Perhaps…" Homura thought. "It's different, isn't it? Killing and violence are horrible, but I feel like my heart is able to imagine worse things than that… It's almost as if I'm not conscious of it. I guess I might be a little rash turning to this weird dragon man for emotional fulfillment because it seems he's both amused by and accepts those bad parts of me. With Madoka it began to feel like there was something she needed to forgive or ignore."

"Geez, when did you get this heavy?" Andy asked as Holden began backing Andy down again, his hard dribbles rhythmically echoing on the concrete ground.

"Ohp!" Holden said as he picked up the ball and established a pivot before making a ball fake. His younger self went for it, and before Andy came down Holden jumped up with both of his feet and dunked on the ten foot basket before ramming his lower body into Andy's chest. "Posterized," Holden said with a grin as the basket began leaning uncomfortably. The young man dropped to the ground as Andy went over to pick up the ball. "Even though you'd have been able to do that, I guess it was right for us to quit basketball in 7th grade… We generally have antisocial personalities and have trouble especially fitting in with a popular sports kid's mentality. Also it took me more ankle training to actually be able to jump high enough."

"I didn't think I'd actually grow up to be that tall…" Andy said as he sat on the ground and dribbled the ball like a machine gun. "You're still only around six feet and I really didn't expect that dunk. It still feels kind of bad abandoning a childhood dream though."

"But in the end, the way the story is told is more important than the story itself, isn't it?" Holden asked. "Your favorite player in early childhood was Shaq and you were never going to be seven feet and over 300 pounds, and you were never considered tall in childhood. Ah, you girls…" Holden looked a bit embarrassed as the three girls walked up to them. "Shaquille O'Neal did have legitimately good skills but he was known mainly for doing what I just did to my younger self. That and having a raunchy personality."

"So you had the dominance fetish so early on?" Homura asked as Andy threw up the orange basketball, which Homura caught in her arms awkwardly. "I don't suppose you've ever tried getting that seven foot figure?" Homura imagined how much she'd have to tilt her head.

"He's plenty taller than you already and doesn't need that Kenshiro body," Zusa said as she poked the ball out of Homura's hands and collected it before going up for a reverse two-handed dunk of her own.

"Damn, that was pretty good, and it didn't look like you used magic on that either," Andy said.

"I think there are professional dunkers at 5'5"," Holden said. "Although as you pull further away from five feet in general you lose that nice loli/shota body…"

"Actually, I don't think I'm much shorter than the average Japanese woman," Homura said. "Though I guess Zusa's height of 167 cm or so might be the average in America…"

"Screw that capitalist image anyways," Holden said as he took the rolling basketball and began picking up a dribble again. "I think I looked it up once – most female models are at least 5'5", but many average heights for women are shorter than that. Ever since the internet sprung into existence all sorts of weird fetishes have been discussed though, so you don't necessarily need that tall figure and right set of abs or curves even if both genders see ads for body image all the time just about everywhere…"

"Ugh, internet," Zusa said. "That's probably one of the reasons why this dragon man is so messed up anyways. In a different environment he might've just been some quiet and responsible man tending to a farm… But I guess we all eventually discover our original natures no matter how many irrelevant things are introduced in our daily lives."

"That, or death," Andy said cynically. "…I guess seeing these two older selves all lovey-dovey does make me feel a bit better, but I did also want to see Zusa's combat skills in action against some good competition."

"Heheh," Holden said as he dropped his dribble and scratched the back of his head. "No magic, right? I'm not going to compensate for the physical difference between us though. And if Zusa gives me a nasty strike or something I'll naturally have to regenerate that, and in that case I'll be the loser. Although I have a feeling that she wouldn't restrict herself to Baji as I'm sure she's picked up other things."

"It's important not to let your form control you," Zusa said as she got into proper fighting posture. "It may look like I'm staging a performance but my fighting style is really funky to begin with."

"Well then," Holden said as he raised his arms as well, mostly mirroring Zusa's stance. Andy and the two Homuras moved to the sidelines, and with that the fight begun.

Holden showed no hesitance in using his longer limbs as an advantage, but Zusa weaved in between the attacks with her smaller and slimmer frame and began applying pressure on the young man. Holden blocked and successfully counterattacked, but each time he did so, his form would get a bit sloppier as Zusa slowly wore him out. Eventually, the twintailed girl began mind-gaming even more, and jumped up on Holden's extended arm when he tried to punch before maneuvering to the side or behind her opponent. "This is really the stuff you see in movies…" Andy murmured.

Eventually a fatal mistake happened. Zusa pushed away Holden's guard with one of her arms while still standing, and Holden used his free arm to swiftly deflect her attack as he stayed low and swung back for the counterattack. However, the young man ended up being a bit slow, and Zusa turned her body and got in position to grab Holden's arm and throw him downwards and stumbling off balance before preparing to jump up for a heavy kick. "Oh, shit…!" Andy exclaimed as Zusa went into the air and lifted her leg before smashing her heel down into Holden's skull. Holden's head went rocketing downwards into the ground and flattened for a bit as it blood splat on the hard concrete.

"Andy!" Akuma Homura called as she ran up to the injured man's side, but there was no need. Within less than three seconds Holden was up again, the blood on his head gone but still being covered in dirt.

"You really don't think of being gentle with me, do you?" Holden asked as he wiped the dirt off the top of his forehead. Homura had the natural response to try and support him, but in those few seconds the dragon man had completely healed. It was another inhuman and awkward scene, but Homura's heart felt a bit less uneasy this time.

"That's what you get for allowing me to do such fancy moves," Zusa said. "You really do rely on magic more than I anticipated."

"Your twintails are very distracting, you know," Holden complained. "I'm sure in that outfit of yours your random bandages are as well… So, younger me, is that enough of what you wanted to see?"

"…I guess," Andy admitted. "Are we training just to be a back-up plan now? I didn't think I'd ever bother with love again… I mean, relationships are dangerous as it is, and you find living with a little Lucifer girl worth all the risks if you screw up?"

"…Well, as you know, it's not logical," Holden said, a bit embarrassed. "Glasses Homura hasn't said anything this entire time, but I'm sure even in a different timeline Homura has good natural qualities… Whatever. It's perfectly possible that you as a version of me are actually better off staying single. But anyways, keep training. Once you reach a certain level you should be able to see its inherent worth."

"Zusa said that none of the boring basic stuff goes away as you improve," Andy said. "Why not learn one that actually does those interesting kicks and stuff?"

"I take out most aerial enemies with my wings, I guess," Holden said. "Whatever. I'm not going to tell my younger self how to live his life." Holden took Homura's hand and turned to Zusa. "I guess this is goodbye for now."

"Good luck with everything," Zusa said as she opened a portal out of her isolated temple world. "…Certainly, I think you'll be needing it," she added after the two figures disappeared through the red aura.

Homura had a few things to talk about when she returned to her apartment with Holden. "I'm sure my younger self noticed it too… I feel like you could've done a lot of things with your life, so why put so much effort on me? It might not sound proper to ask this question, but couldn't you have satisfied your abandonment-devotion-loli fetish with someone else? Or is this all just a challenge for you?"

"Well then…." Holden said as he gazed at his beloved gently. "I think that since love is about vulnerability, it's easy for anyone to bring up issues with anybody's love, and then people turn to stuff like 'it's just normal' and by saying that phrase I feel their love is weak, anyhow… I guess you could say that I have a losing complex as well." Holden began pacing around the room thoughtfully.

"I can handle another rant," Homura said. "Just answer the question."

"Well, my older brother wasn't innately more gifted than me I think, but in childhood we'd still play together and he'd beat me at everything 19/20 times and I'd play anyways," Holden said. "I guess nothing could really be done to dispel this innate disparity, and I probably got used to that feeling of losing as I entered adolescence. I became a habitual loser, almost addicted to the action of losing perhaps, and even though I wouldn't have been able to learn certain things without that mindset, it did make me pathetic in a sense. Then I was exposed to you, I guess…" Holden stopped in his tracks and gave Homura another tender gaze. "Even though you started out so weak and pathetic, over time you were able to develop a strong mind… I rediscovered the power of love by accident I guess, and felt that I was okay with losing and failing at so many of my life goals as long as it was all for you… I sort of wanted to lose in your place. Pretty irrational, huh? And I guess there's another reason. Want to hear that too?"

"Couldn't hurt," Homura said as she shrugged.

"It sort of ties into the last reason," Holden explained. "I think the most important thing as to regards with what gives meaning to your life is the fact that you'd be able to lose and take terrible pain for this meaning… Even if the whole world hates and pities you and wants to abandon you, that you'd cling onto this sense of purpose. Most people seem as if they just want to save their own skins these days. Certainly, with the way society is arranged, they'd be no more merciful than Kyubey when they find out that there's a utilitarian benefit to be made by abusing children – hell, these days that stuff is done for an unjust capitalist benefit as well. In any case, I guess it's another trust issue – you sort of give off the impression that your natural self doesn't abandon your ideals under stress."

"…But you were able to talk me away from my obsession with Madoka," Homura said. "By now I don't exactly remember how you did it or if you did it right, but it certainly happened… And I think it's gotten to the point where I don't even care if your vampire charms play a great role in my affection for you."

"Well I think love is mostly a social instinct anyways," Holden admitted as he leaned on one of the walls thoughtfully. "It's really odd how I feel male sexuality works… One part is certainly just looking for intercourse and seed-spreading, while the other would do pretty much everything possible to secure the well-being of an individual female. I think the attraction to –dere archetypes stems from the fact that people see their own hidden weaknesses in a character and want to be able to reflect all of those shared successes and failures with such a character."

"So you just wanted to be the loser instead of me, and saw this sort of kuudere as your ideal character archetype…?" Homura asked. "I guess that's a good way of explaining things, although as you said neither of us can give rational explanations for love anyways."

"Who knows anyways, I just said what I think was needed to answer the question," Holden said as he turned to look on the clock on the wall. "We stayed in that other world for longer than I had expected. Should we go and make dinner now?"

Another evening had come to a close, and by now Homura was really beginning to get better sleep during the nights. She had still tossed and turned in her sleep due to her nightmares recently, but eventually she learned to accept the warmth of Holden's embrace. Indeed, the prospect of having such a broad chest and large body to herself comforted Homura as she cuddled against her lover. Even though Holden's mind would try to see everything in hardened, detailed and logical phrases, the love she felt was overwhelmingly gentle, simple, and warm… That fact alone must give his love some meaning, wouldn't it?

"I want to love my Homura-chan with all my body and soul," Holden's voice would whisper in Homura's mind as she slept soundly. "I want to carry all of her black grief – I want her to be able to be vulnerable again. It's selfish but I can't just stand on the side and cheer her on. I want to be her only salvation and give her all the happiness I can offer her…" Homura saw bright lights of transformed power floating on a hill above Mitakihara city in her dream, and they softly dispersed into the night air. Glowing white flowers of purity began to bloom again on the grass, swaying gently in the night breeze.

* * *

"…So you two are really going through with this living together thing," Sayaka said to Homura at school the next day. Sayaka tapped her foot sitting in her seat as she glared at Homura as if she was annoyed for some reason. "Haven't you ever heard to beware of strange men? In any case even without magic, with the difference in your sizes, that dragon guy can crush you with a single blow. I don't think he's entirely stable either…"

"Well that goes both ways," Homura said. "I might poison his tea or stab him in his sleep… It's a mistaken notion to consider girls more pure anyways." Homura had an unusual light in her eyes all week. "Even without doing those I think in such a situation I would have my own feminine advantages, even if I didn't use them consciously. But I don't think any gender wars stuff is actually necessary."

"From what I've seen the idea that men want to control things and women want to control men seems to be kind of true," Kyoko said as she entered the discussion from Homura's side. "…But I don't really think the dragon man is all that harmful despite being a weirdo. Even if it was with someone really bad I feel that there's no stopping Homura once she's in love. Let's get out of their business, Sayaka…"

"…What is it with this unfairness anyways?" Sayaka complained as she looked away a little scornfully. "I'm not that mad with Madoka because she used her powers for the greater good, but why do some people just get more powers than others? Maybe I wouldn't do as much as Madoka but I feel like I'd still do better things in your place. Even if I was still mushy about Kyosuke I'd at least have a desire to do the right thing."

"Um, Homura-chan…" Madoka was also at Homura's side now. "I don't want to lecture you, but don't you think all of this is happening too fast?"

"Sayaka Miki turned into a witch pretty fast, and Kyoko's feelings about her changed pretty fast," Homura said. "I'm afraid that's just the nature of adolescent girls… Madoka, do you think Andy is a bad person?"

"Oh, geez, not this sort of drama," Sayaka muttered.

"Um, not bad…" Madoka began. "But he has a jumpy mind and tends to act through it… I think everyone should be a little more careful with their emotions."

Homura gave Madoka a half-hurt, half-bitter look. "You certainly weren't careful with mine when you kept sacrificing yourself in so many timelines for other people's sake… I'm sorry. Just trust us on this one."

"I guess a disagreement's a disagreement then," Sayaka said as she shrugged her shoulders. Homura was a bit surprised, as she felt that the situation could've easily erupted into a physical brawl.

After school, Sayaka, Kyoko, and Madoka ended up stalking Homura on her way home via Sayaka's idea, while Mami had politely passed up on the offer. Homura met Holden at the entrance to her apartment complex, and the two exchanged pleasant expressions as if this had been a pre-arranged meeting. "I guess one day I'll be walking you home from school," the young man said as the two got going along some random trail. "It's a shame that we can't walk home from school together, although I'm not really interested in trying to redo my school days."

"You lived with your parents until the end of high school, didn't you?" Homura asked as she became lost in her own memories for a bit.

"I suppose," Holden replied. "I don't know if it was for better or for worse… I don't know why so many parents are so bad at raising teens, or perhaps all they remember of the teen years is being properly talked down to by authority… Well, I won't deny that I had some stupid thoughts in my head at the time, but so did they. It was probably my fault in the end though."

Homura reached out with her hand and grasped Holden's arm with her slim fingers, drawing it out so the couple now held hands. "Whenever you talk about stuff like that, it always seems like you want to talk about it yet you don't want to talk about it."

"I don't know…" Holden started. "I said before that I don't want to burden you with too many problems. I've just gotten better and better at dealing with the pain of being lonely and misunderstood over the years, and sorting out all those thoughts I guess."

"…It's like an endless abyss full of those emotions, isn't it?" Homura asked. "But if you really need to face that, then shouldn't it be only proper that others help…?"

"Most people just gave up trying to help and blamed me for doing something wrong," Holden said, still holding the nonchalant tone in his voice. "But that sort of mindset is what I wanted to draw you away from, the belief that love should mainly consist of those sacrificial stunts and attitudes… I just want you… I just want us both to innocently enjoy a date for once in our lifetime."

Homura eyed Holden's tall stature for a short while. Yes, his feelings for her were full of those arguably noble desires to protect and to comfort, but they were also simply full of that fresh and innocent desire to enjoy life with someone else. "It's getting pretty hot out here… June's coming soon so I should be able to change into the summer uniform."

"I'm sure it'll look good on you," Holden responded. "You might get some on your uniform, but want to get some ice cream?"

"That's an odd way to phrase it," Homura said with a smile. And so, the couple took a detour along their route through Mitakihara city. Homura put vanilla mint on her cone while Holden got something along the lines of coconut and pistachio, and the two sat on a nearby bench and ate their ice cream in mostly silence.

"You know when I was young I'd oftentimes bite off the bottom of the ice cream cone and eat it upside down," Holden said. "It doesn't work if the ice cream is really hardened and thick like this one, but for the most part I disliked how eventually the ice cream would just come to eating a dry crust."

"Really?" Homura asked. "Boys just need to find every opportunity to entertain themselves, don't they?"

"I don't know…" Holden responded as he finished up the remainder of his ice cream. "The world eventually becomes too much about saying and doing the right things to impress other people, and I guess I naturally didn't have the interest or the talent for that… But I just think that it just might be nice, to sit quietly and just be with someone without pressure to perform in a certain act. It might be just dumb luck, and it might be my vampire part being unfair, but I'm just glad you're relaxed and enjoy this time with me."

"Is that so?" Homura asked as she followed suit and finished the last bits of her own ice cream cone. "I don't know, it really did seem sudden how you went from a weirdo looking to be entertained to showing your genuine concern for me… The way you care for me and love me feels so natural too – all of those little movements you make when we're in bed together… God, it must be really awful to have to contain those natural instincts for so long. I didn't come to terms with wanting to be in this position for quite a while, but in the end I guess I really do want to feel protected."

"God uses some cheap-ass tactics," Holden said. "Using love to manipulate people and all that. It's not just the stupid things people end up doing for such a silly emotion, but these little rose-colored glasses you get when love strikes you…" Homura smiled, looked at Holden and hugged the side of his arm tightly, swinging her legs off the edge of the bench happily.

"…Hey, we might draw attention if you do that," Holden said.

"I don't care," Homura said as she hugged Holden's arm tighter, still with that full smile on her face.

"Geez, can't you show a little more restraint than that?" Sayaka asked as she came out of the ice cream store along with Kyoko and Madoka and approached where Homura and Holden were sitting together. "Yeah, we were stalking you when Kyoko really wanted ice cream and I decided to give into her this time… How could you possibly enjoy these conversations anyways? In any case, don't you feel ashamed of being in love with a schoolgirl or anything, dragon man?"

Holden shrugged. Homura had loosened her grip on him but was still holding onto the arm. "Why should I be ashamed? Because most modern societies disapprove of this sort of thing? You know, this is a world of magic and miracles too…"

"Well…" Sayaka started. "Yeah, basically that's how it should be. You two have no respect for societal conventions."

"Meh," Holden said. "By the time I stumbled across messed up otaku culture, loli, and other things on the internet I didn't really care much about societal conventions as all society really did was shove obligations down my throat and tell me my dreams were impractical… Back then I really wanted to die free, but in any case Homura was the main reason why I came to terms with my feelings and decided to try to improve certain aspects of myself… While I don't know exactly what would've happened otherwise I don't think this is such a bad place for me."

"So you expect society to cater to your every whim then?" Sayaka asked.

"Isn't that what you wanted too?" Holden asked. "Every hero attaches an elitist label onto himself or herself, as being one means you're morally superior to other humans. I wanted to do things for the world in my own way too, but the world wouldn't let me… Wasn't that how you thought in the past, Sayaka? If I only had more power, I would be able to do what Kyoko had given up on and what Madoka was afraid to do. It's an endless staircase though, and sometimes you're imagining enemies as well. After all, the good guy always needs a villain to fight against…" Sayaka gritted her fists, and Homura now let go of Holden's arm.

"Um, dragon guy, hold on…" Kyoko started.

"Or is it something else?" Holden asked with a mocking smile, his fangs almost reminiscent of Kyoko's. "Is your heterosexuality coming back and the natural female desire of bad, aggressive males coming into action instead of desire for pussy-ass violinist prodigies…? Personally I think that everyone has a different salvation, and mine isn't too horrible. Most of the time heated moral wars are a diversion from more important things in life… That was what you realized with Kyoko, didn't you?"

"Bastard!" Sayaka threw a fast fist, but Holden blocked it with his left arm. Homura was about to get up and take action, but Holden threw away his guard to restrain her, and Sayaka's next blow was a left fist to Holden's right cheek.

"Sayaka!" Kyoko yelled as she stepped in to restrain her friend, but Sayaka was satisfied with one hit.

"Nice punch," Holden said as he stood up to his full height along with Homura. "I guess I said some things I shouldn't have said, but that doesn't entitle you to violence or risking your friendships."

"Thanks for holding my ice cream, Kyoko," Sayaka said as she took her ice cream out of the redhead's hands and began going in her own direction. "You two continue your twisted love all you want."

"Homura-chan…" Madoka started, but Homura took Madoka's hands and cut off Madoka.

"It's okay, Madoka," Homura said. "I'm fine with him, it's just… I'm different from the rest of you. He has something I need that I can't get from you…" Homura didn't really know what else to say at the moment.

"It's going to be fine," Holden said to Madoka reassuringly. "We'll make up everything later, okay?" With that, Holden and Homura went in their own direction.

"…Haven't you ever thought of being normal, though?" Homura asked after a good amount of time had passed.

Holden shrugged. "But I'm not normal in the first place, so I don't know if that would be any better… That's always the train of thought I used to motivate myself. In any case, didn't we have a conversation going on that was interrupted?"

"Was it really important?" Homura asked as she tried to remember what she had been talking about.

"I don't know," Holden recalled. "I think by now I may be repeating some things, but I guess I wanted to ask you if you had ended up seeing your life as nothing but a sacrifice for Madoka's sake… In my opinion, you should be able to see and feel far more pleasant things in life. You need quite a bit of love, but overall I think you're a good-natured person."

"…How about you then?" Homura responded. "Did you really just see yourself as a wandering adventurer with a 'screw the world' attitude or a sacrifice for your art?" Holden didn't really know how to respond to that for a while.

"People are complicated, but we always try to find simple meanings to our lives," the young man said. "But in any case…" Holden knelt down and got Homura into an awkward sort of wedding carry, and proceeded to carry her on the way to the apartment complex. "We haven't done that yet, right? Guess we'll draw even more attention now…"

Holden eventually let Homura go once they reached the apartment complex, and Homura just smiled awkwardly as Holden pressed the elevator key. "Did I tell you how much I love it when we cuddle?" Homura asked as she stepped into the elevator with Holden. "It's strange… to have such a large body to myself. It sort of makes me feel better about my life." To think that such powerful arms which were so capable of hurting and destroying were also so good at loving and protecting… "I love you, Andy."

"I… I love you too, Homura," Holden replied as the elevator reached the correct floor and the doors opened.

Overall, Homura and Holden had been pretty compatible with each other after they had begun living with each other. Neither of them had much to say or complain about, and both of them loved the hugs and tender moments in bed. Over time Holden began to become less messy with his own things, although he still retained the habit of pacing around a room while thinking, but Homura didn't really mind that. They both didn't really bring up problems with each other as they felt it would be a minor issue, but they were often able to notice each other's discomfort and talk things out reasonably when they needed to.

They were able to share all sorts of moods and feelings with each other, usually without having to actually talk about things. After all, these moods would inevitably come and go, and it was the act of being with someone that was important. "Homura-chan, were you frustrated with being human?" Holden asked that evening as the couple stood together on the balcony. "I guess that's understandable… Our lives and minds are limited, after all, and there are so many annoying distractions in the world… But you shouldn't have become a goddess hellbent on sacrificing herself."

"…You were fed up with it too, weren't you?" Homura asked. "We both… We both wanted to run away and seize power for ourselves, didn't we?"

"But I guess the important thing is not to overdo it. Here, let me show you what I think is overcoming humanity." Holden knelt down as if prompting Homura to get on his back, and Homura did precisely that. "No, swing your legs over my shoulders. Otherwise there won't be room for my wings." Homura swung her legs over the dragon man's shoulders and clung onto his neck. "Ready?" Holden asked as he stood up and spread out his red dragon wings.

"Go!" Homura exclaimed with an excited smile as Holden leapt up and took off with his wings into the cool evening sky. Holden zigzagged and curved, making the ride exhilarating as the city lights shined beneath Homura's feet and the foggy clouds danced past her. The breeze was pleasant and not too chilly, as Holden's body generated a good deal of warmth, and Homura felt innocent giggles escape from her mouth.

"It's sort of like having your own private roller coaster, isn't it?" Holden asked as he gradually slowed down to an easy glide throughout the night air. "Although I don't know if you'd just prefer to fly alongside me."

Homura shook her head with a smile. "This is already really fun and exciting…" She couldn't estimate how fast Holden was going, but it looked like he had brought her over the ocean already.

"Flying by yourself gives you that sort of pleasant feeling the first few times," Holden admitted. "But after a while it becomes boring, and I eventually used it as an outlet when I felt trapped and frustrated with life. But I feel that if it's with someone else, this feeling of freedom and power becomes timeless… It feels like doesn't matter how fate tries to restrict us, huh? I'll take you anywhere, everywhere if that's needed." Homura just continued to enjoy the ride for a while silently.

"You can't tell what sort of expression I have on my face at this angle," Homura said. "But I'm smiling, Andy. Thanks for everything." Holden blushed a bit among hearing that, but didn't falter in his flight.

"Want to do a little trust experiment?" Holden suddenly asked as he twisted his body upside down and held Homura from the ankles.

"Yah…! Hey…" Homura exclaimed.

"I'll drop you, and then dive down and catch you right before you hit the water," Holden said. "Just relax and enjoy the freefall until then."

"…Alright," Homura said, still a little uneasy as she relaxed her ankles and Holden let go of them. She began falling through the evening clouds, feeling the cool air caress her body as she closed her eyes and tried to relax. It was just a few seconds of freefall, but enough to bring out the powerful feelings in Homura's heart.

Soon enough, Holden began diving down from his hovering position as Homura neared the water, and made a swift curve as he caught his beloved in midair, the seawater cutting across his wings as he flapped them and sprung upwards again. "Heehee," Holden said with a smile as Homura rested happily in his arms. "I guess that might've been a little too risky, huh?"

"Ah, whatever," Homura said as she threw her arms around her lover and kissed him tenderly. "I love you, Andy." Holden looked a little surprised for a while before returning Homura's loving glance.

"I love you too, Homura," Holden said as he cradled his beloved even tighter. Homura threw her legs around Holden's waist. "I love, love, love, love, love you…" The couple stayed silent for a while as they hung together in midair and appreciated the pleasant human contact.

"…You do know how to get back, don't you?" Homura asked. "Not that I mind being like this forever…"

"…Yeah," Holden nodded as he began to fly back. "It's a dragon's instinct." Homura simply let the cool evening brush across her other senses as she closed her eyes and felt Holden's body warmth.

"I think with Madoka, I had just ended up trying too hard to be the protector," Homura said. "She was always vulnerable, after all… With you it's different though – I feel more relaxed."

"…Thanks, Homura-chan," Holden said as he kissed the top of his beloved's head. When the couple returned to their apartment, they ate a few snacks together and cuddled some more.

The next day, Holden met up with Homura and the other girls at a café after school. "I'm not sure how I should properly apologize," Holden started. "So I guess I'll also just kind of tell a story. I met a guy in high school… You know how male friends are. In any case he was probably my closest, and he was really opposed to any sort of sentimental drama-feeling stuff. If there was ever a problem he'd just be blunt about it and if I ever brought up being depressed or unmotivated he'd just go on a weird rant and tell me to stop being a pussy-ass bitch or something like that and that humanity should stop being weak. In any case overall he was pretty entertaining – we kept our boundaries and weren't really obligated to help each other."

"Is that how things were then?" Sayaka asked. "You kept boundaries so your social relations were just entertainment, and it just wasn't your responsibility to help others with certain things?"

Holden shrugged. "Pretty much. I really sucked at paying moral debts, so I wasn't really able to feel like I had much worth to society… But you know, before Homura I was a lot more incapable of seeing some of the good things in life. It's really hard for me to work with those appropriate boundaries, but in this situation… Finally it feels like I'm able to do something good for someone, and this is the best I can do – take it or leave it, I guess."

"Huh," Sayaka said. "I guess I did sort of go out of my way to stalk and lecture you guys… You're annoying, but that wasn't too hard to understand."

"Just see me as another human being trying to get through with life, I guess?" Holden asked. "…Certainly, we could do much more with the situation, but I think this is just the best possible option for now."

"Um…" Madoka started. "I don't really get any of this, Homura-chan, but if you two are happy, I guess it's alright…"

"Those are my thoughts as well," Kyoko added. "Ever since you two moved in together, Homura has been looking happier in school every day…"

"Well then," Holden said. "I guess I should try to be flexible in case things go wrong – that seems to be a trait Madoka lacks, no offense. But if your concern really is hiding some jealousy you can speak up about that too. I can fit one more loli on my chest, after all…"

"Oh, this guy…" Sayaka started.

"Yeah, he gets pretty random at times," Homura admitted. "But there's something simple and straightforward about his love, whereas if I pursued my happy ending with Madoka it'd get more and more complex…"

"At this rate, we'll be preparing for a new world soon, won't we?" Mami asked. "And you won't be leaving after that happens, as Akemi-san requires your presence, doesn't she?"

"I'll probably stick around here as much as I can," Holden said as he got up and left the money for his drink. "Thanks for supporting us, you guys."

* * *

One night, Homura had another one of those dreams which let her see into Holden's mind. The next day was a Saturday, and after she got up and used the restroom she pushed Holden back into bed excitedly. "I… saw some things, in my dreams," Homura said as she softly traced her fingers around Holden's chest. "You… You cried a lot about me, didn't you? About how it would be impossible to see me, to declare your love for me, to protect me… But I also saw moments where you were just full of inspiration and thought 'do it for her'…" Holden looked pretty embarrassed as Homura brushed her head on his chest. "Can you cry a little bit for me now that you finally have me?"

"Well…" Holden began. "It… It was all really stupid," he began, laughing nervously as he held his beloved tightly. "I… I don't know. You saw that I didn't want to be the weak one here, and I wanted to do things for you, right? But in the end…" Tears began flowing down Holden's cheeks as he buried his face in Homura's hair. "I love you. I love you, Homura, I want to stay like this with you forever…"

"I… I know," Homura said with a tender smile as she closed her eyes and continued brushing against Holden's chest. "Me too. We share a lot of those hurt feelings, don't we?"

"I didn't have anybody other than you," Holden said. "That was because everybody would encourage me to be more social, but if I ever tried to reach out I'd feel too distant, they'd feel too busy for me… I'm stupid like that. I just want to do nothing or do simple things and cuddle together and feel someone else's… Feel your warmth besides me, Homura-chan."

"Waiting in lines, sitting in class, needing specific times for everything, it all felt like you just weren't important, were you?" Homura asked. "But I'm here now." Homura kissed Holden on the lips passionately, and then pulled away looking fondly into her lover's eyes. "And if you'd like, we can move on from just kissing and cuddling…"

"I… I'm not sure about that," Holden began. "I don't have that much confidence in my love-making abilities, and with a vampire's regeneration I'm not satisfied easily either… It's a lot more complicated than it looks, and it can jeopardize our relationship."

"But I saw you in the past," Homura said. "Didn't you think of that sort of stuff all the time?"

"…Yeah," Holden admitted. "But don't you just see my body as that of one big hulking beast's?"

"Not at all," Homura said. "It's one big cuddling and loving machine. You shouldn't be ashamed of that."

"…Is that really?" Holden asked, and Homura nodded. "Alright then. We can start this evening, although I might have to loosen you up and get you experienced with things before actually doing it… I don't know, when it comes to sexual feelings, didn't you wish for it more with Madoka?"

"Well, yeah," Homura admitted. "I still sort of do… But this way there are more positions and we're actually connected, aren't we?" Homura gave Holden another sweet smile, and with that the young man had lost to her request. The couple doubled up on birth control pills and tested clean at a sexual health center.

General foreplay and warming up took a few days, and Homura showed positive reactions so far. "You know what?" Homura asked as she cuddled with Holden in bed one night. "There are a few other things that you want, don't you…? Like to get married, and to say 'honey, I'm home' as I have dinner ready…"

"Oh god," Holden turned over in bed. "God, yeah, that's embarrassing…"

"It's really cute, though," Homura said as she hugged Holden from behind lovingly. "What about having kids, or growing old together?"

"…I don't think either of us wants those," Holden said as he turned back to face Homura. "When you grow old your mind pretty much changes and is vulnerable to a whole bunch of things – mutual love wouldn't work as well then. In addition one person dying earlier would be quite troublesome too, don't you think?"

"I don't know," Homura said with a smile. "You've sort of restored my girlish innocence about those normal things… Don't you think it could all be kind of fun?"

"Well, if it's really what you want," Holden said. "I'd want to spend countless more happy days like this with you though…"

"Sure, sure," Homura said, tracing her fingers on her lover's lips. "We still have all those things to do in bed, after all…"

"I don't really have many fetishes besides loli," Holden admitted. "But okay. We'll start that all soon."

The night came, and the first penetration hurt a little, but as expected Holden was gentle enough to make up for it. "We finally became one, didn't we?" Homura asked as she lied in bed naked with her lover. "And I feel you're still holding back even now. We can do this a lot more once I get used to all of it though…"

"Your body was really beautiful…" Holden said. "So pale and delicate. I was really happy when you came up and hugged me during everything. Your voice is really nice as well… Hell, I love everything about you." Holden hugged Homura, and some more playful cuddling and rolling over in bed happened before the night came to a close.

With every passing night, Homura felt herself getting closer and closer to Holden as sex became more and more pleasurable. "It's all just stupid thrusting, isn't it?" Homura asked as she cuddled in bed with Holden. "But the bond is so intimate – it almost feels magical… As long as we love each other, this should never get dull, right?"

"That's how it was with me at least," Holden said with a smile as he gave Homura another tender kiss. "Although it's a shame that I can't rest my full body weight on you without hurting anything…"

"Are you really satisfied with just me though?" Homura asked. "I can't just make generalizations about males, but I sort of have the feeling that you do want some more…"

"Kyoko and Madoka are really cute," Holden admitted. "But I don't think of them much now that I have you… I know, it's stupid that I have those thoughts in the first place. But the feelings are more than just sexual – I think that if I needed to sacrifice either of them for your sake I wouldn't be fine with doing it."

"Your desired loli harem becomes family somehow," Homura commented. "Ah well, that's not too bad… I think I'd like to have some other friends as well. I can't really bring this up to them though."

"Haha, I had fun talking about sexual habits all the time," Holden said. "I couldn't really talk about the emotional bits though… Again, I'm just really glad we're together now." Homura smiled as she accepted Holden's warm embrace, thinking of something else she would have him do in the future.

* * *

"Well, looks like we're finally getting used to this," Andy said to Y-Homura as the two sat together during break. "Looking back on what I did before this it all seems so stupid, although this is stupid in itself – I don't know, I was really fed up with life. There are distractions and important things everywhere which everyone sucks at finding, and people get hurt so easily… But just this, just now, training for a stupid battle, being with you, I sort of feel better about myself, you know?"

Y-Homura smiled. "I'm glad you feel that way, Andy."

"If we do continue to exist after this mental labyrinth thing dissolves…" Andy began. "I don't know, do you want to travel the world together?" The boy blushed heavily. "I've… I've sort of developed feelings for you, and I can't imagine returning to a normal life, which might not be there when this world collapses. I don't know how much experience plays into the formation of character, but we… We might be able to get along as well as our future selves do…"

"…S-Sure," Y-Homura replied. She was honestly quite flattered, even if Andy was bratty and had things to learn. She looked into Andy's eyes, and suddenly instinct just kicked in. The two slowly moved their faces close to each other and shared their first kiss.

"F… First kiss," Andy said. "I thought that would never happen to me."

"…Me neither," Y-Homura said as she looked away shyly. "Let's…"

"Stop here for now, right?" Andy asked. "Good. I'm not sure where to go on from here either…"

Meanwhile, Akuma Homura had subconsciously perfected all of her subtle girlish movements which charmed Holden's heart. The end felt near – she would have to give up title as Lucifer, as demon, but she was fine with that. Whatever would happen would happen, and even if she wasn't going to be entirely saved, she trusted in her happiness and innocence again.

…That's right. No one would be entirely saved, no matter how much pain they had been through in life. There would be some pleasant things and some less pleasant consequences – that was just how the world, or rather human perception worked. It was pointless to try to look for that pure happiness, that heavenly bliss that great people lost themselves searching for if it was really incomprehensible. But Holden was here, at the moment at least, and it felt like her fellow magical girls stood beside her a little more reliably.

"Hey, Andy," Homura said as she led Holden up to the bedroom one day. "You're used to being the loser, right? I guess I am too, but anyways… Today I'd like to show you that's not how it is, or rather I'd allow you to embrace those desires of yours as much as possible…" A large assortment of outfits was hung across Homura's open closet, including maid and bunny girl outfits. Even Homura's old red-rimmed glasses and her magical girl outfit were there. "I thought you might enjoy these…"

"Oh, you," Holden said as he went up to his beloved and gave her a hug and a kiss. "I guess… We can start with the maid outfit. That's likely to be a particular favorite of mine."

After the sex, Homura collapsed unconscious for a while, and when she woke up, she accepted Holden's invitation to take a bath with him. "Now we're going to have to clean everything up, won't we?" Homura asked as she sunk in the water a bit more and rested her back on Holden's chest. "Even when you're allowed to do whatever you want you're so affectionate… You really like hugs, don't you?"

"…Only with you," Holden replied, a bit embarrassed about his performance as he began gently running his fingers through Homura's soft hair. "There was no need to try and service me either…"

"Ah, whatever," Homura said as she began splashing the water with her feet happily. "You know… I would never admit this to myself, but I guess I'm the type of person to get lonely and sad easily if someone's not in the room with me… I'm just… I'm just glad that you're always there for me."

"It's the same," Holden began, using both his arms to hug Homura now. "It's the same with me… I guess I'm pretty lucky, although you might've accepted me just because Madoka couldn't always be there for you… I'm glad I was able to help such a troubled heart." Homura paused in her thoughts for a bit before turning over to look Holden in the eye.

"Even if that's true, you certainly aren't just a replacement, Andy," Homura said as she stroked the young man's cheek. "You're… You're my favorite, precious crazy dragon man you know?" Upon hearing that, Holden smiled a bit awkwardly.

"Y-Yeah," Holden said as he kissed Homura tenderly on the cheek. "And you're my irreplaceable dear Homu…"

The days flew by, and before anyone knew it Zusa had declared it the day the deal with Akuma Homura would be finished. Y-Homura and Andy didn't seem to have built that much muscle, but they had a different sort of light in their eyes and seemed ready for battle. "Basically, Akuma Homura will release her remaining curses into a limited barrier, and these two will be fighting them," Zusa explained. "If they win, it will be the end of all of this, and the five of you will go back to being standard magical girls under my new system of Chaos – Magical girls will definitely come into existence and pass away as always, and plenty of other types of people will gain magic too, but the system will be rather random… And I'm not sure if the younger selves will pass away after this labyrinth closes. Is all of that agreed upon?"

Mami, Sayaka, Kyoko, Madoka and Akuma Homura all nodded. "I'll be able to stick in this world as much as possible to look after Homu, won't I?" Holden asked.

"Knock yourselves out," Zusa said. Y-Homura and Andy were standing a good distance away from everybody else. "A-Homura, unleash your curses…"

Homura placed her two hands over her heart and a small labyrinth formed where the two younger selves were standing. There weren't that many enemies thanks to Holden's work, perhaps around ten little parody dolls of Homura, and the two younger selves looked ready for battle. Y-Homura and Andy both let out a solid stream of punches and blows, covering for each other and making short work of their enemies and ending the fight within five minutes. After the curses were defeated, the ground shook for a bit, and a strange new sensation filled the air.

"We're out of Akuma Homura's labyrinth and in normal Mitakihara city again," Zusa declared as she looked up at the sky. The clouds began moving in a weird pattern. "I've installed my new system of Chaos as well… I'm pretty sure Kyubey won't be desperate enough to try and manipulate any of you again. He'll likely head over to another world."

"Well, we're still alive," Andy said to Y-Homura, still a bit tired from the fighting. "What do you want to do now?"

"…I don't know," Y-Homura said to Andy with a smile. "Didn't you say you wanted to travel the world together or something?"

"Very well then," Andy said as he looked around at the world. "It'll probably be dangerous, but I'm not sure if this place is any safer under Zusa's new Chaos Law or whatever. Let's look after each other, okay?" Y-Homura nodded as Holden began to walk up to the two.

"Good work, scrub." Holden held out a fist, and Andy went and bumped it, rather annoyed. "You two have fun, okay?"

"We will!" Y-Homura said as Andy began running off into the distance and signaling her to follow him. "Maybe we'll see you again sometime…" Y-Homura took off in Andy's direction. Her running still had a bit of girly look to it.

"Well, we're magical girls again," Sayaka said as she held out her glowing blue Soul Gem. "I don't know whether I'm in the mood to face everything under this new Law of Chaos, but if we all stick together, it should be fine, shouldn't it?"

"…Right," Kyoko said. "Let's all face this new world together."

"I'll be sticking around for a while to run some stability checks," Zusa said. "That, and to enjoy the celebration, if you guys are going to come up with a party for this or whatever…" A slight wind traveled across the air and swayed Zusa's twintails a little. "After that, I guess I have my own journey, and my own things to do – I don't think I fit well into this world anyways." Zusa was about to let her words fade into the air, but before she knew it she was embraced by Madoka.

"Thanks for everything, Zu-san," Madoka said as she pulled away from the deep hug. Zusa's embarrassed red eyes looked surprisingly cute.

"Y-You're welcome…" Zusa replied.

* * *

As for what happened after that, the five magical girls appeared to be adjusting to the new Law of Chaos well. As far as Mitakihara was concerned, magical disruptions still manifested inside barriers, but there was no visible black specks of Grief piling up in Soul Gems. So far there weren't any new magical girls or magic users to come into the scene, but that was expected. Having been too used to fighting alone, Holden just sort of sat on the sidelines as a spectator as he watched the other five girls fight. "Ah, the world of magical girls really is wonderful, isn't it?" he said one day after the five magical girls finished destroying a monster.

"You know, one day we're going to make you fight one of these things yourself," Sayaka said, rather exhausted from her role. "You should be more than capable of doing so, right?"

"Heh," Holden replied. "If you're watching don't get too grossed out when I sacrifice some of my limbs for efficiency… Sorry, I don't know any better way of fighting."

Incidentally, Zusa was also watching the scene, and she sat up after the battle was done. "By the way, some part of your original universe requests your presence," Zusa said to Holden, and Homura looked at the dragon man with a concerned glance. "Apparently people there are getting better and better at crossing the line between universes – they might hunt you down if you don't go…"

"So I still have to tie up some loose ends, huh?" Holden asked as he stood up to his full height. "I guess I'm fine with that… Homura, you'll be able to handle things on your own for a while, right? I'm might be gone for quite some time."

Homura nodded. "Don't worry, I'll be fine…" Homura looked at Madoka with a trusting glance. "Just think of it as a little vacation, you know? I'm sure you'll come back in one piece."

"…I'll also probably be leaving this world today," Zusa said. "With any luck, you'll all survive and I'll see you in the future someday… Guess I'll watch you say your goodbyes to the crazy dragon man."

Holden gave the five girls a warm smile and began giving good-bye gestures to all of them. He gave Sayaka a fist bump and Mami an awkward handshake. Madoka gave him a warm hug, and Homura gave him a warmer hug and kiss on the lips. When it came to Kyoko, it looked like he was going to give another fist bump, but Holden suddenly burst forwards and hugged the redhead, along with giving her a short kiss on the top of head.

"…H-Hey, dragon man!" Sayaka exclaimed.

"Sorry, you were just too cute," Holden said as he pulled away from Kyoko. "Hehee, Heeheeheehee!" The dragon man cackled as he took off with his wings and started flying far away into the air.

"That bastard…" Sayaka began, but Kyoko seemed fine with it.

"…It's chill, Sayaka," Kyoko said as Zusa looked at the figure that was flying into the distance.

"Great, now I'll have to be chasing after him…" Zusa said.

In this world of Love and Chaos, one would like to close a story by saying everything was going to be all right. But no matter how many gods or weird powerful characters were introduced, there would always be struggles and problems. As for how people were to deal with these things, everyone was expected to find their own salvation, and certainly many failed. Even then, some people were simply lucky enough for their world to be saved – as Holden began flying into the air, he finally thought he might be one of those people.


End file.
